Amber8040 , 26

Hello! Another entry just days apart - WoW!

Not a whole lot is going on. Someone asked if the divorce was final yet. Yes our divorce was final on June 10th - just 2 days before our 5th wedding anniversary. He got the final decree on our anniversary but his mom didn't give it to him then - he had just worked a 13-hour shift with one of the most active ambulance companies around Atlanta. As most know - we went together to file for a divorce but I'm the one that 'filed' for it ... it was his idea that I file. Now I know why ... so he can say "you filed for a divorce" when he gets mad at me. [:)] We get along pretty well ... we've had our spats but I honestly think it's because we still care about one another.

Mostly my life has been consumed by working and taking care of the girls. Thinking about going back to school - maybe for medical billing. I'm not sure ...

I had a date on Saturday ... he seems like a real nice guy but we'll see.

I guess I will go. Going to try and catch up on journals through out the day.

Amber

\\ Edited //

Heather you made me want to say something. I think it's sad that we divorced - we divorced over something that could have been fixed if it was brought to surface before the divorce was filed. He was my everything ... our problems could have been worked out. When he told me he wanted a divorce - I moved out but was begging daily to get him back. He was telling me 'no' the whole time. I started to kill the feelings so I could get by and take care of the girls and be strong for them. Then he started begging me back months later ... I said no because I don't know that I would ever be able to forgive him for all that he's done and I don't know that I could forgive myself for the things I've done wrong. I wasn't the perfect wife ... I would pick fights, I would bitch at him, I would nag him. When he told me to get out this last time ... it REALLY hurt. I think maybe because just DAYS before he told me how he wasn't going anywhere and he hoped I wasn't either. I was so sure we were doing good ... I was content with our marriage. Of course it could be improved but any marriage could. Found out about a week ago - the whole time he was begging me back - he was still with his girlfriend as a 'backup.' As of last week ... there's no way in hell he would ever consider 'us' again - he said he's moved on completely. His girlfriend is living with him at his mom's.

He's doing pretty well for himself. I'm proud of him. He finished his EMT training - he took his state test - he of course passed it and should get his numbers soon. He can then get a job as an EMT. He also plans to go to Paramedic training while working as an EMT - he's taking on a lot but I know he'll get it done. I'm his silent cheerleader in the back that will never be heard again. I'm very proud of him! [<3]