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DoRkZiLLa264

DoRkZiLLa264 , 23

from Daly City

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Extremely moody

  • 12/03/09 6:06 am
*Sigh* I dont know what to do with myself...honestly I feel like if my whole world is going apeshit. I feel like the biggest failure in the world. And thought I know technically none of this is my fault because Im doing what Im supposed to do. But sometimes I wish I didnt feel so alone is this battle. When I said yes I thought it was going to be a breeze but taking care of this group is draining. Sometimes I wish I could tell them that they suck and need to start helping me because I cant take care of it all by myself, it way too much work. And really if I could change the world myself I totally would. But I cant. Im just one girl and I need help. But my pride stops me from telling them whats on my mind. Slowly the glass of emotions is filling up and its pretty close to tipping over. Sometimes I feel like I can control my emotions but other times I just want to burst into tears. Then I think Im over it, and someone says something and that anger comes back. Dear God help me.

The Review and other nonsense

  • 01/23/09 12:09 am
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[smallest]So I went to the movies on Monday, it was nice and sunny outside and I had rather gone somewhere else but everyone was busy. So I went to see a couple of movies with my brothers. But really the price for a ticket is ridiculously expensive almost $11! And they had wanted to see My Bloody Valentine 3D, but I was not about to pay the $2.50 for the glasses. So stupid really, It's not because I'm cheap but a full time student cant afford to pay $43 to watch a movie.( I had to pay for my brothers) Plus I could probably buy it later for that price and watch it whenever I pleased. So we ended up watching The Unborn, and later because we had time and they don't really control the auditoriums we snuck in to watch Hotel For Dogs. Here are my reviews.

The Unborn: While in the movie would have been a good scary movie, the outcome not so great. It wasn't bad, definitely not the worst thing I've seen, but it wasn't worth my $11. Not at all. No...I think it was because I didn't get what they were trying to do, fitting almost every slasher element in such a small space and yet at the same time it seemed they ran out of stuff to put in it, and replaced it with a lot of blah. They acting wasn't that bad and the two little kids definitely sent shivers down my neck. The plot not that bad. See I guess I was expecting something like the ring, and they were trying to do something like it, but it just wasn't. Cam Gigandet is amazingly gorgeous so thats a plus lol. And Gary Oldman is one of my favorite actors, and his character was great. I give it a 6, but maybe Im giving it too much credit.

Hotel For Dogs: Oh my its one of my favorite movies now. Its so cute! You cant help but love it. Some of the acting was a little of but I can forgive it. Jake T. Austin is amazing in it. I did not expect him to that good. And my favorite was Friday! If you have a lil sibling you should definitely use them as an excuse to go check it out, that is if you into a good tear jerker like me. Lol. I give it an 8.

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The second week of school is almost over. The stress about books done, Im just waiting for my abnormal psych book but we barely use it, plus its only a 2 day per week class. So I can wait till tuesday to start worrying again on why it hasn't arrived. Though there's a downer to it only being 2 days. There's this really cute guy named Steven in it. Yummy eye candy. Even his tattoos make me fluster lol. Italian class is more fun than I thought, and its pretty easy. History not that bad, more cute guys in that class but non of them as cute as the ones in my psych class. Yes Steven is the only one. The only one Im iffy about is my astronomy class which I only took because I needed the credits. The teacher is really passionate about Stars. And she piles on so much info in 45 minutes. Its going to give me headaches. But I cant drop it because I made a promise to myself to no drop any classes at all this semester.[/smallest]

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[smallest]rachelinalaska[smallest]
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Wow..how weird is that? Need Ideas...

  • 01/16/09 12:20 am
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entry | 056......Hello poeple! [color=FA822A]Jeez I am so tired!. [color=E254B8]And I have a headache the size of antartica.... Ha ha So apparently I have been chosen for kiwi journal of the day. Thats funny. Well I decided to just move on. I wish D all the best of luck and I hope that her decisions don't fuck up her life too much. But you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved right. Who knows maybe she'll prove me wrong, and maybe I'm just underestimating her.

So lets change the subject. I started school this week. My other friends don't start till tuesday...lucky bitches...j/p...the rising prices in books are so stressing thought. My aunt managed to get me all the books I needed for a little over 250, a lot still seeing that their used books, but it beats 550 right? I love my aunt..seriously what would I do without her, or cousin that part is still debatable but the fact is I love her. Lol. so that took that stress out.

Except for one tiny little thing that is. My mom and her are always joking that I should be with my cousing(her son). They say its a joke but you know they say it so much Im starting to believe that theyre not really joking. You know stuff like one day your going to be married watch we're betting money on it. Which is kinda gross really because he's like my little brother. Blegh!! I mean he's super nice and not bad looking but no....lol.

Now I want to get her a thank you gift but I dont know what. She loves stars and space. She's a big fan of both. But has a phobia of aliens. lol. But she has almost everything possible about them. And getting her a star online is too cheesy plus I think she already has a star named after her, actually a couple, lol. Hmm....any advice?

[color=FA822A]By the way... thanks to [color=E254B8]rachelinalaska for taking the time to comment and give advice. Im telling you I've tried for years to that but she's like a stubborn little 3 year old. So I guess I will step back and let her live her life...

So Cio, Buona giornata!


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rachelinalaska


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What do I do? Any advice?

  • 01/14/09 11:49 pm
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[font=century gothic]So I didnt really explain a whole lot yesterday what was going on. Or i did just not 100% of the story. Ok so here it goes.

Last[color=E74994] year I decided to transfer schools because I hated the school I was in. I wasn’t getting anything done, it was boring, they [color=70A4E0]didn’t have any class I wanted. It just wasn’t my school. I had made the [color=B7DF6F]decision to switch schools two semesters before but my so called best friend had somehow convinced me not to. Well last year I had enough of it and I decided to go where I [color=E8A145]wanted to go to. Even though she didn’t want me to leave, and I guess she resented it because she told me she felt I was abandoning her or something.

It didn’t help that we had a big [color=E74994]fight a few months before because she was being immature when I [color=70A4E0]didn’t want to go to class with her, a class I wasn’t [color=B7DF6F]registered in and just went to sit with her there once in a while. I had stayed with another friend in the caf waiting for her. She said I was trading her in or [color=E8A145]something…I forget. Anyway she had ignored me and then she said something really stupid to me. She had already been trying my patience that day so I blew up.

Anyway back to the other story. So I left and decided to [color=E74994]work on school for a while. So I didn’t visit her as much as I had [color=70A4E0]wanted to. But I did txt, call, and send her a myspace email, constantly. And I [color=B7DF6F]tried to keep up with her life as much as possible. All of a sudden I start hearing all these things about her. Like she [color=E8A145]broke up with her boyfriend, and she was dating someone new. I started talking more to the girl I had spent lunch with that one time [color=E8A145]because D wasn’t telling me anything. And all of a sudden their fighting because D says said our friend was the reason she broke up with her ex, that she had helped him cheat on her or something, which has been proven to be false.

Well after a while [color=E74994]school go the best of me, and I stopped talking to anyone from my old school for a while. [color=70A4E0]Except her, though I didn’t call as much as before. When I started communicating with everyone [color=B7DF6F]again she wouldn’t answer anymore, which I thought was [color=E8A145]weird, later I found out she had changed her phone number w/o telling me. And that her dad had kicked her out of the house, and that she was engaged with the butt hole she’s been datitng for 4 months, and no she’s pregnant.

This all led to last Saturday, where I had randomly walked into her(last entry)…I [color=E74994]didn’t see what her bf did..but my current bff who I happened to be shopping with saw him. She was a [color=70A4E0]few steps behind me because I was looking for our ride. And I also found out she’s been [color=B7DF6F]telling everyone all this shit about how I had abandoned her because R had manipulated me against her. Even though I had tried to keep up with her as much as possible. I don’t know if I should confront her or just let her be. Because some part of me still cares. I’ve known her since the second grade…worst of all the day I did see her..she looked completely wasted, so high her eyes were [color=E8A145]bloodshot. And she’s pregnant? She says in a blog she’s trying to change for the better, but all I see is a down going spiral. What do I do?

Hmm... maybe i should just let it be. Its time to realize that as much as we cared for each other growing up, we've moved on to have separate lives. Though it saddens me... Im no the kind of person that chases after someone band try to save them when they didnt want to be saved, i did for years and got nothing. Anyway if i wanted to how could if she's tried to cut me off almost completely. Hm...life really is a mess...


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Lets face the facts...my "bff" is a total bitch...

  • 01/13/09 2:26 am
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Ooops




So another year has passed...even though its super late I wish everybody a super new year! lol...I've been busy so i haven't been able to go on kiwibox that much...and when i have a really havent updated my journal.

So I spent new years at disneyland...thats always fun...lol...but we couldnt see the midnight fireworks because of all the fog! We could barely see anything in front of us lol, nonetheless above us. hahaha. We spent like a whole week down in LA. Did some shopping down in the fashion district. The stuff there is so cheap! and a lot better than the crappy stuff they sell here at the flea market. It was so crowded though! Ugh...i got claustrophobic after a while. Even though I love going there.

And I went back to school today...i'm glad i was getting bored at home. My textbooks are super expensive though. My goodness...i think im going to buy them online this time because $150 for a book is too much!!

So you're probably wonder what the title was about. I saw my so called best friend when i was shopping w/ my new best friend at the mall. We were getting party decorations. See I switched school last year because I hated my old one. It was starting to effect my school work and everything so i switched to one closer to home. And you know she stayed behind. She also changed alot...she got a new boyfriend which i blame for her "transformation". She snubbed me, she looked away hiding so that i couldnt see her, but she made it super obvious...my friend erica noticed. Her ahole bf flipped me off behind my back too! Seriously WTF? I don't even know the guy! And all because I switched schools? and it's not like i havent tried to keep our friendship intact...she was the one who stopped calling and emailing...and i've heard so many things, which i'll write about later...grr...and really its what ever...i've always questioned anyway why we were friends...and this totally confirmed we should be anything...but her stupid boyfriend pissed me off. Who in the world does that? It was completely immature! Its sad because some part of me still cares about her. I dont know if i should confront her or just let it go you know...life is so complicated sometimes...hm..









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