Forbidden_death , 23

Hey you guys. Well i am sitting in first block with nothing much to do.. i am just sorta sitting here, cause i am finshed with all my work. Besides that, i am very bored. I wish that this week was already over with because i am read for spring break to be here!! i am so excited. I get to go to PC!! i mean, we arent staying a whole week or nothing, just a few days, but its okay. O well. I dont know, i used to love school, but now, i just really dont feel like waking up every morning to come. Its okay because i am going to graduate! I mean thats all i really care about. Other then that i took the graduation test last week for like the 4th tyme!! i keep failing the freakin math and social studies. I just hope that i passed them this tyme! Man. The weekend went well i guess. i watched 2 movies and went the shot sum pole. I seen stay alive and that larry the cable guy one. They were good... umm... other then that, last night i was at my brothers. Which was fun because i just hung out. Anyways, i am going to go, i know this update is short and it sucks. But i have to write!

List of responders
crazy4blueeyes, popluver, RockerChick09, TheFlash05
List of subscribers
angelbadgurl, angeleyes_0587, Annie87, Anti_s0m3thing, bergmansgirl, black_glitter_0, cch_2004, crazy4blueeyes, cutie_pie031, Duck1805, fox_xXx, frpowergirl, i_need_you_now, iluvjohnsboxers, JJsCherry, JRTsbabe101, Kailah16, kharkins, KissaLvoe, Kylie320, lparkchic1324, madepunkgirlie, passionista, popluver, purplepimp05, RockerChick09, romanticxlies, Surfergirl_21, sweetpea777, TheFlash05, VeilofMystery, xo_LiL_Angel_ox, xTryHonestyx

hey its been a while since i wrote. I know that the whole me and danny thing gets to you. For that i am sorry. But i just realized that after justin i am going to take chances... but iam not going to put up with anyone hurting me.. besides that i am freezing!! I really can't wait until PC, its going to be so much fuN! i am so excited!! well i think today is actually going to go good.. heck i am at school so thats a start.. lol.. other then that i really really cant wait to go shopping today. i never even called my mom this morning. I need to call her and make sure we are still going. I get to get clothes, so of course i am going to be happy. I get to get 2 bathing suits, shorts and tanks!! hah! All because i rode with my mom yesterday to take christine home. Well i know that yesterday sucks. We didn't talk... we argued and then we were fine.. we are odd. its okay tho'. Zeb, me and you are just like me and nelson. You will always be the guy i turn to for advice, and thats it. I love you, don't get me wrong, but i am happy and for once, i am not going to be the one to screw it up. I need you to understand where me and you stand and that is at freinds. So you can stand beside me as my freind or i guess nothing at all. I love you and dont forget it... but i dont know what else to say about that.. i am just sick of hurting the people that mean the most to me.. so i am finshed not taking chances and being scared. I guess i should fell you in a little more about me and danny even if you dont want to know.
[here it is]
i love him. i always have. I met him my 9th grade year. He was dating Ashley Bowling or what ever her last name is, they broke up. They had been broken up for a while when he first talked to me. I had health. I was a loner then bad because i didnt care to get to know anyone because of riley. Me and riley were broken up at the tyme. Well it was a few weeks into class, and i noticed him. I didnt let him know it, but i did. But he sat on one side of the room and i sat on the other. It was werid because i wasnt trying to catch anyones attention, and yet here was this guy looking at me from tyme to tyme. I did think he was very attractive. Well he came all the way across the room one tyme about 10 mins before the bell. I was listening to music. I was done with my work and i had my headfones on. I seen him coming over and i acted like i didnt even notice. He sat down beside me and asked me "What ya listening too" It was just a mixed cd... well from that day on, we talked. Everyday. We ended up havin lunch together, but his exgurlfreind had that lunch too. Well anyways, we hit it off. We started talking, and i dropped him like a bad habit and started dating riley again. At the tyme i didnt see it. But i think that it was a mistake. I mean it was, but it wasnt. I guess i say that because i wouldnt know what i know now if it wasnt for riley, but i wasted so much tyme with him.. i wonder what life could have been like without him.. Well you know that you have health one 9 weeks and PE the other. Well thats when he met ashley third (dated and had sum flings inbetween there) But, then they got serious.. and that was it.. he sorta stopped talking to me because of her, because of her jealously and she knew the way we both felt about each other. It sucked. Well when he went into basic, i wrote him, he wrote sum stuff back. When he came back, me and riley werent dating. He came up to a football game with ashley. I didnt know he was supposed to come.. i didnt know he was home... but jennifer told me that he was in the bleachers. Wow, i freaked. i mean i didnt know what to say. I was so proud of him and stuff. Well when i finally saw him, i cryed so hard it wasnt even funny. I freaked out, and wouldnt quite hugging him. It was crazy. Well i guess it was after that, i gave up on trying to fix my mistake. But i told myself from that day forward that if i ever got the chance to give life a chance with him, i would... so now i have. Its life. I have realized that just because you get hurt by one person, that doesn't mean the whole world is out to get you. Yes, riley will always hold a spot in my heart, but i can say, i dont love him. I know that i am who i am today because of him, but i would never go back to him. Everything is great while it last, but i feel like even the greatest things never last forever. Heck maybe one day i will be proven wrong, but until then, i am going to have fun, take chances and just be me, if i get hurt/cheated on/called names... even once in another relationship, i wont put up with it. i dont care if it was a mistake or not. There are plenty of other people out there. Anyways, I dont know why i felt like writing all this, i guess i just figured i would. Anyways. i am going to go now i think. I hope that all of this makes since.