GottaGetTheGoo , 23

Found a boy.

Well, man. He's almost 23.

He's friends with some of my friends.  He's absoultely gorgeous.  Black. Handsome. he's a little shorter than I usually go for- he's shorter than me.  Most men are though, I'm 5'11. He goes up to my like, forehead. He's a little skinnier than I usually go for.. I probably have 30lbs on him. Eek.

But none of that matters. I'm comfortable around him.  We're just talking, but I like where it's going.

I was hanging out with him and his brother yesterday.  His brother just got out of jail. Ha. He''s cool though. 

It was fun.  I got the brothers approval. It was cute.  He kept callin me baby. Or booboo. lol. Kissin me, grabbin me and pullin me onto his lap.

We went to the store and he was holdin my hand and junk.

I haven't had a nice guy like that in a long time. I havent let my emotions get involved with anyone in a long time.

Biggest plus? He's close with his mom. You can tell how a man treats his lady by how he treats his mother. 

Oh yeah, he's good in bed, too.

When we were at the store the three of us were looking at what we each wanted to drink- they each grabbed a 32oz Miller Highlife.  I was still debating, and dude's brother was like get an ol' english 40.  I did. He goes "i'm in love." haha.

When his brother left, he goes "I really hope you come around more."

awwww

sprunggggg.

 

no lie.

see how much you can drink on an empty stomach.

It's not the fifth I can usually kill. fml.

 

 

I got my car window smashed by a dude who got mad cause i didnt want to fuck him.  Yeah that was cool. 

My best friend went to jail on Sunday Morning..  Probation Violation.  Probation came to his house the night after a few of us partied at his house.  Left the bottle out.  He got arrested.  He'll probably be in jail for a few months.

Not only will he test positive for alcohol, he'll test positive for marijuana, at least one controlled substance, and possibly perscription meds that he isnt prescribed.

Yeah. Fucking awesome.

 

Another friend got out of prison two days ago.  He called me today I was soooo excited to hear from him :]

 

 

God, I have fabulous taste in friends.

Then theres this other boy... and he has a girlfriend. And hes one of my favorite people.  He's like my little bro.  Except when we're both drunk and he's single (him and his lady break up alll the time) we always end up fucking.

I started talking about him to show how much better my taste in friends is... he has "Thug Life" tatted on his wrists.  He used to bang.

Used to.

 

 

That's all.

whatup.
been a long time since i wrote in this.

Richie left me for another girl.. again. Two days after the worst day of the year for me.  Dec 27.
It was hard. Well, some bitch hit me up off his phone (hes stationed in va, im in cali) sayin not to talk to her boyfriend.  He says it was just some bitch that wanted him.
Yeah sweetie, i'm not stupid.


When that happened, I mean, we were fighting all the time.  He's wasn't here.  It wasn't going to work and we both knew it.  I didnt get mad.  I wasn't all that hurt.  Just went and smoked a few bowls. 

I went to Cabo for new years.  I got drunk and texted him and basically i fucked some dude on the cruise- i'm a whore- and richie got mad at ME for having sex with someone when i was single.  THats bullshit.

I've ben drinking.. alot.
Smoking... alot.

I tried some other shit.  No more of any of that for me.  I wanted to expirament, I did, and now i'm done.

I met this guy.  A friend of a friend.  We're actually pretty close these days. 
He keeps asking me questions about my eating habits.
It's starting to piss me off.
I talk about virtually everything.  But food? No.  I deal with that mess on my own.
Oh yeah, we also had sex twice.  And i wish i hadn't.  Not because like he's a bad guy, or anything.  But it's like, I was trying so hard to put him on little brother level, but i just cant now. 
Love the kid to death.  He's a good friend.
But sex complicated that. 

I need to settle down. I need to stop partying.  I need to get my shit under control.
It's hard when all my friends are exactly like me.


that's all.

well well well

i'm still with richie.

he's cute.
we fight alot.
over stupid shit.
and then we're fine like 10 minutes later haha
he stationed in chicago sooo far away
we fall asleep on the phone: how incredibly lame.. but cute.
i wish he was fallin asleep next to me instead.


with that being said

i have a crush on a boy in my english class.
he's super cute.
names greg.
hes like isk older than me.
about my height.
maybe shorter.
i'm 5'11 :\

saw him on halloween
i was drunk off my ass leavin a bar
and heard some fool call my name
i ignored it
then one my friends like aye that fool callin you
i turned around and it was himmm
and we were talkin
and he like
do i get a halloween kiss?
then he did haha

richie doesnt know.





he's so cute.
and long distance relationships are soo hard.






push comes to shove:
richie has my heart.
but if this kid swoops in and steals it

i'll go for it.
i really will.
so as much as i have a little crush
and kind of want to see where that goes
i don't want to hurt richie.

i mean, i know i got game.
and i know im not ugly
and i know i have a personality
and im used to getting whomever i want
so if i don't get this boy, i'll be a bit disappointed.
but if i don't
i'll just assume it's for a reason: aka richie.







night, all.