GumonyerShoe , 27

12:03 AM

Well, I got to talk to Ben for a pretty good length of time todnight. Here are some "clips."

Ben: *hug*
Annaka: *hug*
Ben: *blushes*
Annaka: *smiles*
Annaka: wish I could give ya a real hug.
Ben: yeah.....
Ben: there's nothing like the real thing
Ben: *blushes*
Annaka: *flirty face*
Ben: Awwww *smiles*
Annaka: *big smile*
Ben: *big smile*

(we deal a lot in emoticons! hehe)

Ben: ,,,,,,,,,,,
Annaka: sorry... I'm at a loss for things to say... It's weird 'cause I wanted to talk with you for so long it seems, but now I dunno what to talk 'bout.
Ben: yeah.....same here....
Ben: maybe just knowing the other is there is what we were missing........?
Annaka: Yeah. I've been kind of at a loss the past couple days when I've been online 'cause even though I didn't know what I'd talk about, it just wasn't the same 'cause you weren't there.
Ben: yeah......
Annaka: *smiles*
...
Annaka: Welcome Back good sir. ;)
Ben: why thank you my lady ;)
...
Annaka: I'm so glad that we finally caught each other actually on though. I really have missed you a lot.
Ben: yeah, me too
Ben: I've missed you more than I care to admit ;)
Annaka: heh
Annaka: I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Ben: anywho, hope you sleep well and have a good day tomorrow. *hugs*
Annaka: Thanks. You too. *hugs* Take care and goodnight Ben.
Ben: with any luck, I'll talk with you again soon
Ben: goodnight, Annaka

So, like I said... I don't really know what to think about him saying he missed me more than he cares to admit. :op

Well any way...

Not talked to the "New Chris" again... Kind of sad. :o( I had a dream about him though... I drempt that the e-mail I sent him with the pictures he requested ended up being too large and it caused all kinds of problems and junk so he got mad at me for sending them.

Talking with Mike now... He's been playing The Sims Online so he's going back and forth between his gaming computer and the computer where he's talking with me (and others?). I have an alert set up so it tells me when he gets online or comes back from an away state and I get the alert noise/box like every 15 minutes. It's pretty funny.

Well... I guess that's 'bout it...

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3:40 AM

You know... Ben's been talking about coming to visit me during Spring Break. That'd be really cool and all, but the problem is that his spring break is different from mine... and actually, if we had the same spring break it wouldn't work out any way 'cause I'm going with my drama ministry team to either Vermont or Hendersonville. So my mom asked me, "If Ben comes during his spring break, what will he do while you're in class and working?" So I asked him. He said he would come to class with me and hang out in the library while I was working. I'm like "oh ... my ... goodness. Does this guy wanna see me 'for real' or what?!"

It's kind of scary to think about in a way though. I mean, I feel pretty close to him and dream about him visiting and stuff... what it would be like and everything... but I just wonder how it'd be when we really get together. You know? I mean, when we're talking online our age difference doesn't phase me at all. But when I actually think about it, he's actually a month older than my youth pastor. Wouldn't that be weird like if we got married?! I mean, again, it doesn't really bother me, but it's kind of weird to think about. And I'm sure that as time goes on, the age difference will mean less and less. And I also worry about our physical differences. He's very thin and I'm...well...not. I just worry about little things like that. *shrugs and sighs*

Still no ideas on when I might get to meet Mike though. :o(

Thinking about the age thing 'in real life,' once again, the ages don't bother me online, but thinking about "New Chris" who's 26... That's older than my youth pastor (also named Chris...) by 2 years. Now I still don't know "New Chris" well enough to really say whether I like him or not, but I've a feeling I could easily develop a crush on him. Once again, wouldn't it be weird to be married to someone older than your youth pastor?? But oh man, he was really cool and he had great plans for the future. So organized. So focused. Seemed to be a really "on fire" Christian. (First one of those to show an interest in me since Matt I think. Except for maybe Nate... but you never can tell with Nate...) He has a goatee. He looked to have red hair. And he said that he'd date me in a heartbeat if it weren't for the other guys and the 8 years difference. *sighs* I don't know what to doooo. "New Chris" is just an hour and a half away from me! AUGH!

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Shoutout to the person who responded

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keyli146 : Well, I'm 18... So 26 is 8 years older than me. Any way... thanks.

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3:14 AM

Good grief. You wouldn't think it'd be so hard to coordinate to redeem gift certificates to Amazon, but it is. So BJ and I were all excited 'cause we were gonna get dumploads of stuff 'cause they have that "buy it used" option. I was gonna get like 3 CDs and he was gonna get a bunch of books and a computer game and stuff. Well, then we're all checking out and stuff and lo and behold, the gift certificates only work on things being shipped from Amazon. *rolls eyes* Sooo, we have to go through a bunch to try and get Caleb's thing from Amazon (he ended up getting a bunch of LOTR action figures) and BJ and my things from Amazon. Then Caleb's toys didn't qualify for the free shipping and so shipping was going to be like another $20. So BJ is just getting his computer game and I'm just getting one CD. Caleb's still getting all his toys and we're splitting the $8 shipping amongst the 3 of us (since we didn't really think it was fair to make Caleb pay all the shipping himself even though BJ and my stuff all qualified for free shipping. We're just too nice.)

I'm sick. Like really. Achy, sore throat, dizzyish, hot, cough, runny nose... :op It's not cool especially with school starting soon.

Which reminds me... I'm leaving on Sunday to help my aunt move. Be back sometime on the 1st I think. Start work on the 2nd. Final registration for classes is on the 7th. Classes start the 8th. hoo boy.

Talked to Mike and Ben today... Mike's got The Sims Online so he's been kind of out of it 'cause he's going back and forth between the game and IMs.
Ben was sweet... yet again we couldn't really think of anything to talk about a lot of the time, we just liked being "with" each other. Ben's thinking about coming to visit during spring break... You know, I think I'm going to write more about that in the guy journal...

Dad and Caleb went to go see Dad's stepdad and mom. Grandma's got alzhimers and is pretty bad off. And Chuck is getting really old, yet he's still doing pretty well all things considered.

They got home today and immediately left for Knoxville to pick up a new computer. Unfortunately the computer Dad'd been thinking about they were out of. Sooo... :op

Uhm... I think that's all I had to cover here.

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Shoutouts to people who responded

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shampoo10 : heh, I'm not overly animal shy, so I'm not really scared of them, though others in my family are. Glad you got good stuff!!

TheMomma : Yup yup. In my bed. Watched one poke its head around some pillows several times... I've not looked at the book a whole lot yet, but one link that my brother found in the book and told me to go to was emptywebsite.com and there was another that was... uhm... givemeadollar.com I think.

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11:18 PM

Well... Here we are. I left Chris a "Merry Christmas" offline message. I don't know if he's been on to get it or not, but regardless he's not responded. *shrugs* 'sokay... I'm not really sure if I want him to or if it was the wisest thing in the world for me to have done.

But, today I met a new Chris. He's 26 and also lives near here and seems to be an incredible Christian. He has this awesome long term ministry plan that he's written up on his website.

He said he'd date me in a heartbeat except for my having other guys 'chasing' me and his being so much older than me. I told him the age didn't bother me. The other guys though... time would tell.

He's very sweet, attractive, and lots of other stuff. He's not very self confident which may be a bad pairing with me since I'm not very self confident either.

Any way, again, time will tell. I will likely be talking about him more later.

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Shoutouts to people who responded

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TheMomma : YEah... and I dunno either. *sighs*

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5:02 PM

Well... It's the day after Christmas. Mom's already made 2 runs to Wal-Mart. She returned like all of what her cousin gave us (gave Dad aftershave (it's like what in the world was she thinking?! You see... if you don't know what my dad looks like it's not so weird... but if you realize that my dad is semi-famous for his beard...), gave Mom some Green Tea bath set junk, and me a set of perfume/cologn stuff. Wouldn't be such a big deal, but I already have several that I like and use and those weren't the greatest in my opinion.) and she returned this digital camera that I got. It was a Vivitar 10 or something like that. It was OK, but since it was a multi-function camera (stills, "video clips" and web cam) it didn't do any one of its functions well. They actually did take it back. I was surprized. I mean it was one of those packages that you have to mutalate the plastic in order to get in at the product and so it was fairly torn up 'cause I had used it. I don't know what else she returned.

any way... It's funny... often my favourite things are from my stocking. For instance, I got a bunch of great makeup stuff in my stocking. Of course, I picked it out myself and told Mom what I wanted. *laughs*

Some of the stuff I got...
A "Nature Allarm Clock" from "Remington" - from my parents
a personalized bath towel *why??* - from my aunt
the above mentioned things - from other aunt, mom's cousin/step sister
Wal-Mart gift card - mom's mom
$50 - Dad's stepdad
Amazon gift certificate - mom's brother
around the back of the head headphones - BJ (though I'm going to try to return them and get some that don't have a microphone.)
LOTR soundtrack - Caleb

I think that's basically it.

Gotta take BJ to Andrew's house.

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8:46 PM

Mom and I went to the chinese place for dinner since it was just the girls who are left. Caleb and Dad went to go see Grandpa Chuck (Dad's stepdad) and BJ (as mentioned above) went to Andrew's house.

I have mice in my room. And they've decided they don't like it just on the floor. They have taken up residence actually on my bed with me. It's slightly unnerving.

Any way... We went to "At Wall Boo" (our nickname for The Great Wall Buffet because shortly after it opened their lights were burned out so it just said "at Wall Bu") and then went to Big Lots. I didn't bring the headphones with me to exchange because I wasn't thinking. But I looked around any way to see if they had the kind I wanted. They did have one of the ones that I had been fairly seriously considering, the only problem with it is that it is also a radio. That could come in handy, but it also makes it a lot heavier. And they also had one that the speakers went inside the ear. I don't like doing that generally 'cause I think it's harder to hear what's around me. And especially if I'm going to wear them at work I have to be able to hear what's going on around me. They did have some great nail polish but I didn't get any since we weren't getting anything right then.

Looking into telescopes to use my Christmas money on... I for the most part have one picked out, I just need to find out if it's worth it and make sure nothing's screwy with it since it is so inexpensive for the type that it is. If I sell my Wal-Mart gift card to and my Amazon gift certificate to mom I'll have enough for it with just Christmas money I think.

Also thinking about getting my ear pierced at Wal-Mart. There's a great looking stud that's just under $30 that I'd think about... I don't know if that's $30 for a single or a double. I really don't necessarily want a second hole in my earlobe, but a carteladge pierce. I have said for a long time that I don't want to have the piercing gun used for any other piercings as I've read it's actually not that great for piercings other than earlobe especially since it was designed for earlobes. But I've been thinking about it for a while... And maybe I do wanna go for it any way. I know I'd never be let near a tattoo parlour or any other piercing facility. :op Though, technically I am 18... *sighs* Ahh well.

Oh, another great thing I got in my stocking is this book with "501 of the funniest, craziest, and most bizarre websites you'll ever see." It's pretty cool.

Well I think I'm gonna go again... Maybe go blab in the other journal.

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Shoutouts to people who responded

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shampoo10 : Merry Christmas to you too. And now Happy New Year.

TheMomma : *nods*

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10:54 PM

Well, I've not written in a while so I thought maybe I'd try to update on what's been going on lately while I wait to see if Mike and Ben are going to get on.

Saturday
Angela called and Dad woke me up by pounding on my door saying I had a phone call and it sounded like a male voice so it might be that Marvelous Mighty Mike from Memphis. *rolls eyes* I muttered that Mike didn't know my number and apparently dad said something about him being a smart boy and he could find it easy enough. I tried to tell him that he didn't even want my number yet but whatever. I got on the phone and it was Angela. She wanted to know if I wanted to go see a movie with her. I agreed and she sounded shocked. *sighs* So she wanted to know what was playing and at what times. Now, if I was going to ask someone if they wanted to see a movie I would've checked to see what was showing and times and stuff but whatever. So I told her I'd check and get back with her. So I pulled my computer out and got on real fast and checked movie times and wrote 'em all down and called her back. She was interested in Maid of Manhatan but I wasn't really. I finally convinced her to see Two Towers even though she kept saying that she didn't want to force me to see that with her and junk. We did end up seeing that. We went to the 7:00 showing. It was good. My 2nd time seeing it. I've now seen it more times than anyone else in my family. Imagine that! Very good movie. Only problem with seeing movies with Angela is that she asks questions and talks the whole way through them. *rolls eyes* Talked to Mike later that night and found out that's one of his pet peves. It's not a huge deal with me but it can be kind of annoying.

Sunday
Ran the computer for church and BJ ran sound. That was pretty good. I was pretty depressed the whole day so that wasn't so great. And it was only heightened by more online guys wanting to be sexual with me. Any time anyone starts talking about getting sexual or in any way physical with me I get depressed. Dunno why though. Just do. Youth group was pretty good though. We played games mostly. Then afterwards many of the girls went to Fazoli's and many of the guys went to Adam's house. I didn't want to drive 15 minutes the opposite direction from my house to go to Adam's so BJ and I went to Fazoli's. Lots of fun. I loaded up on Cherry Coke (no Dr. Pepper at Fazoli's. :o( ) and before too long wasn't in a depressed mood any more.

Monday
Slept until about 1 I think. Nice. :o) Got up and walked the dog and stuff and showered and by the time i got out of the shower and was dressed and had done makeup and everything my aunt Judy had arrived. We sat around and talked for a while and my depression level began to grow (since she's not around us much she doesn't exactly know the way our sense of humor and thought processes go and so a lot of things that anyone else who knows us better would just laugh off or whatever she analizes and so it gets annoying and depressing) Then it was time to head out to the day's entertainment/dinner. We went to this show thing in Pigeon Forge. The soup was excellent. The rest of the food and the entertainment were ok, but not the greatest.

Tuesday
Slept 'till 2. Sleep is good, but even so I had a kind of depressedish day. Wrapped presents for Mom and helped Dad wrap stocking stuffers for Mom and stuff Mom's stocking. Got online for a few minutes then went back upstairs to eat dinner. Held Emmaleigh through dinner. I can be really stubborn at times and refused to let anyone else hold her 'cause I wanted them all to have an easier time eating and stuff. So I didn't really eat a whole lot. Afterwards we played Monopoly so that Caleb could be "tired out." I was hopeing to get out pretty quickly. But I ended up landing on Park Place so I bought it. Later I got Boardwalk too and put a house on each of them. I still managed to get to be the 2nd person out. (Mom was the first) Dad was third I think. I think BJ ended up winning. It was a pretty amusing game. I watched part of Gilmore Girls (just the very beginning) and most of Smallville but not all of either of them because they were ones I'd seen.

And that basically brings us to now. I'm sitting here waiting for Ben and Mike so that I can tell them Merry Christmas and goodnight. It's just not the same if I don't get to tell them goodnight. Nights I don't get to it just doesn't feel right. Feels like I'm missing something.

I think that's everything. There have probably been jucy interesting details that I've forgotten by now. But *shrugs* I guess that's what I get for not writing more consistently eh?

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Shoutouts to people who responded

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shampoo10 : yep yep!

TheMomma : thanks. *hugs back*

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