Kiid_Hawkez , 21

Hectic. Crazy. Spontaneous. When can I just stop and chill for a second? Please! Lately, my life has been like a toilet!
Ha. Sadly, its sounds funny, but, its true. Everyone in my life was just chillin' around me. Acting normal and than when something brown comes in! Everyone wants to go down the drain! Ha. I don't know where I come up with these metephors I swear.

On a good note, Me and her has our little petty fights these last couple days, and we came out of it strong. Funny thing is, she's the one who's pregnant and I'm the one with the mood swings. I guess because life really hit me hard and fast. Like of course I know my actions and have to think about the consequences doing so, but I mean CMON! What are the chances of this!! A baby!? Eh. I freaked out in the beginning. Not going to lie. But I'm a lot happier now! Me and her are really clicking together. On text, gosh its like brother and sister arguments (over nothing). But in person, I don't think the world can stop us! Ha. Hopefully I'm going this week to hear my baby's heart beat for the first time. Her dad said its something I can't miss. So you can't not NOT obey the girl's father! The girl's BIG father. Haha. So that'll be fun.

Friends-wise? Everything seems to be falling in place. Me, Drey (Andrea [Bestfriend since 3yrs old]), and Adam (Bestfriend since 5yrs old) have been chillin a lot lately. So of course when your chillin with your "crew", you do some damage on the happy side. Deeds has been there a lot lately also. I kind of made her very upset with me the other day, and honestly I forgot how? But I'M SORRY DEEDS! q:D She'll forgive me. She can't help it. Um. A lot of people from church have been hitting me up saying how much they are there for me and stuff so that comforts me a lot. Ya know?

Bad news. Ugh. Guess I have to talk about it. 2010 probably isn't my favorite year but it will be. Let's see.
-No Job
-Having a baby (Bad for my age, but SO worth it in the end)
-Ex went crazy on the baby situation
-Petty fights with the baby momma.
-Oh! Tania BROKE DOWN! (My Car)
-Still no job
-Bills are still coming in. ugh.
-Some friends have been shady lately

and? I believe that's it for now. haha. Eh. I'm not worried about it. Everything will work out fine. Especially if i have a BOY! Ethan James Jaquez! Yup yup. We don't have a girl name yet but its coming! I bet your probably wondering why I keep bringing up the baby!? Its crazy to say. I think the fact that I'm going to be a daddy in 2010 makes me feel so alive! Idk how to explain it. I feel like everything that has happened to me is for a reason! I've just been in a good mood! I mean if you don't know me personally, you'd know I LOVE MY CAR! It's been my dream car since I was little. Funny thing is, no one knows what my car is!? Hyundai tiburon 2001. Ah! She's a beauty. And even though its broken (blew head gasket), I'm still looking positive and happy about life because something I created is coming this september! The feeling of having something literally from your own body mixed with someone else's into a baby really makes you just. Happy! haha.

Well. Other than all that. Clothing line has been pushed back to the summer, of course, due to the baby situation. But no worries. It's coming people. Pray for me and my girlfriend. Healthy baby! ah!

Signing Off.

I think it all started in 2nd grade. I remember walking to the principal's office with a smile on my face because I figured my mom was coming to pick me up from school to take me to get me a dang happy meal that I've been asking about for days. But then I remembered, she bought me one the day before. So I completely threw that wish out my head while I opened the office door. Seeing my mom sitting on the chair just got me excited because I knew I wasn't in trouble or else my mom wouldn't have smiled back. I remember sitting down for about 13 seconds and then I got up to go get a drink of water from the fountain. Sure, I could have waited a couple hours for a drink, but then again, I wasn't a normal kid; if it's safe to say. I closely listened in as I walked past the principal's office wondering if she was even there. I mean, c'mon, I got art class next period!
As 5 long minutes went by, there goes my principal's door opening, as expected. She called my mom and me to come into her office and of course than at that moment, I freaked. I dragged my feet to stall time like every 2nd grader would.
30 minutes later, I walked out scared out my little tiny head of mine because of the words that were passed on from my school principal to my mom and me. "His thinking level is far beyond an average 2nd grader Mrs. Jaquez; I believe he needs to move ahead."
Since that day, I've never looked back. I went on skipping the 3rd grade scared out my mind. Started fresh. I met new people and experienced things kids at my age were not suppose to experience, yet.
In 4th grade, I experienced my first girlfriend; Ms. Yvette Gonzalez, who I thought was beautiful. Possibly because she was one of the only girls in our grade that was shorter than me. In 5th grade, I was introduced to the love of my life, music. In 6th grade, I experienced the art of exploring potential, or, finally stepping "outside the box." In 7th grade, friendship played its roll and sunk in strongly in my heart. In 8th grade, a true relationship arose and I gave my heart to one specific individual, Andrea Gutierrez. Of course, I only gave her my heart every other month. But, nonetheless, she had it.
Moving on in 9th grade, I, for the first time, witness what it truly means to be alone. I, unlike my other 8th grade peers, moved on to my mom's old high school, Tolleson Union. In 10th grade, I met my best friend Gabriel Saldana, and became a saved Christian on April 27, 2006. This is also the year I feel in LOVE. Ms. Angel Moreno took my heart that year, and has it in her pocket ever since. 11th grade was my year of explosion. I gave up my fake friends, false hopes, and started new in the world. I developed this passion for art in that year. Drafting and design caught my eye, but photography and art was right behind it.
At the age of 17 and a senior at Tolleson Union High School, I graduated. And that was when I started going "Picasso" on my life. Right away I moved to Hollywood, California to live the big dream of a young adult. And just as fast as I moved to the big Cali state, I came straight home to the valley of sun 3 months later. On my return, being the age of 18 now, I decided to live life young. Maybe because I realized that tomorrow isn't guaranteed to no one. So. I became a home owner in Tempe, Az. I quickly tried the "college" life at the University of Advance Technology. Eh. Withdrew after the first semester.
As the months went by, I sit here feeling like I have life to the fullest since the 2nd grade. And I completely believe that it's only the beginning for me.
Well "What are you doing now Edel? Your 19? What's your year achievement going to be this year?"
Well.
At the age of 19, I will become a dad. Demarie Calderon is due September 4, 2010 and I will be there by her side ready to see the life God has given me. q:D

Signing Off.

-Kiid Hawkez