Page 12 – Blog | KraZii_BlueZ

gushy sappy stuff :P

12/20/08 4:54 am

So no really weird dreams last night! lol. I know I dreamt something about Ryan but I can't remember and, ya know, that's probably a good thing. :P

We got a ton of snow too. I'm bad at guessing measurements but I know a foot was expected and it looks to be around there. I'm kind of pissed cuz the party that I was supposed to go to tonight got cancelled because the weather is so bad. It's been rescheduled, though, so I have another week to prepare myself for being across the street from Ryan. Oh God... at least there's gonna be alcohol! lol.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Toledo Zoo with Larry for a big Christmas lights display. Yay! I love Christmas so I like doing this kind of stuff and getting all in the spirit. :) Toledo is only about an hour from Larry's house (about an hour and a half from mine), so it's easy to take a day trip to another state lol. I'm really excited, though, because it sounds really cool and I have a feeling it'll be really romantic. There's an old train you can go on and over a million lights plus a light show that's set to music. I can't wait to go! Not to mention I just like spending time with Larry so that's a plus too. ;)

Speaking of him, we had a dinner date last night and it was really nice. :) He came over after work and I had the house to myself and, no, we didn't have sex. We actually spent about an hour just sitting and talking about "us" and everything. It was pretty nice. To be honest, I thought us not being official would have killed me by now cuz it's not my usual routine but, really, I think I like taking it slow. I think it's a really good plan and I'm quite happy with the way things are going between us. After our talk we went to BD's Mongolian for dinner and the boy spoiled me hard core. Apparently he wanted to make it a real treat because he saw to it that I got an alcoholic drink not just cheap pop, as well as our meal, AND a dessert to split. I was so full it was rediculous lol. But it was really good and really fun. :) After dinner he came back to my house for about two hours to just watch some TV with my parents and I and to plan out tomorrow. He was really cuddly too which I liked. OH and cutest thing ever!! My house has a foyer you walk into when you come in the front door. There's a door dividing the foyer from the living room so, when you open the door, cold air doesn't come in and the pets don't run out. So whenever anyone comes or goes we go out in the foyer and close the door behind us, leaving us alone with the person in the foyer. So last night I walked Larry out to the foyer and he said goodbye to my parents. I closed the door and, like, as soon as I turned towards him he grabbed my hips and pulled me in for a biiiiig kiss. I'm pretty sure I about died. It was so sweet and so surprising. I loved it! Oh and, often, he'll rest his forehead against mine and I swear it makes me die every time he does it. I don't know but I just find that really intense. Ugh, now I sound like a giddy little school girl lol.

Now that I did all that gushing I'm gonna go shut up. I promise lots of pictures from tomorrow's Toledo adventure. Maybe I'll even get some of the massive amounts of snow we have here in Michigan. But it's not enough snow to keep me from seeing the boy and having a romantic night tomorrow. Can't wait! :D

5 more days!!!!

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amygrace726, mashuki, popluver, Reach, SatansGift666, x_anyotherway_x, x_iloveyou_o

boys are dumb, throw rocks at them

12/18/08 10:52 pm

Okay, so I have to start this entry with a funny story. First of all, I have to explain for those of you who don't know, who Kyle is. Kyle was my boyfriend back first semester of my freshman year of college. We dated on and off for 7 months and it was pretty messy at some points. He cheated on me, among other things, and when we broke up wouldn't have me in his life at all. Definitely really really bad. However, after about 6 months he talked to me out of the blue and we started trying to work things out. In time we became friends and now I consider him one of my closest guy friends. I've gone to him multiple times crying over Ryan and he's let me come stay at his dorm for hours trying to cheer me up and, once when my apartment lost power from a bad snow storm, he let me crash at his place for the night. So, needless to say, even though he's my ex, we're really good friends.

Okay, so that's him. Now the funny story part. Last night I text Kyle cuz he has MP3s on his phone and he sends me sometimes and I was looking for a particular song. Well, he wasn't answering so I just put my phone on silent and went to bed. Apparently texting him triggered something in my mind and he ended up in my dream. I don't remember everything but I remember we were in my grandma's detached patio and I was venting to him (I think about Ryan). Next thing I remember he's giving me a hug and gives me a kiss on the cheek so I give him one back. Then I pull back a bit to say something and he ends up kissing me. I kiss him back for a little before I pull away and I'm like "wait, whoa, you have a girlfriend" (cuz, in real life, he does). So he kind of agrees reluctantly and I figure that's that. Then this random woman shows up and is like playing shrink to Kyle and I kind of reprimanding us for making out and like punishing us. I get pissed off cuz I figure I'm 21 I can make my own choices and I go inside to find my grandma and my mom who are talking about it because apparently the shrink was my grandma's idea. So I get mad at her and storm into "my room" (which is my grandpa's old room), get my shit, and bolt out to my car telling my mom that I'm leaving. So I get in my car and am bawling my eyes out and I grab my cell phone and call Kyle and tell him I'm on my way to his house cuz I'm leaving and he says okay. Then I woke up....WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?! lol. Kyle cheated on his last girlfriend with me and he's told me before that if he were single he'd hook up with me (I took his virginity) so I'm hoping this dream isn't some messed up premonition or something lol.

To top it off too, I woke up and within minutes Kyle text me. Talk about feeling awkward at that point! lol. Other than that weirdness, though, I'm good. I spent all day yesterday with my grandma making chocolate covered pretzels for Christmas, then going to IHOP for lunch, and then Sam's Club so she could get a couple things. It was a lonnng day but it's nice to spend time with my grandma sometimes because I know she won't be around forever so enjoy it while I can. Today I'm just taking life easy and waiting for the alleged big snow storm that's supposed to be coming. Larry's coming over when he gets out of work and we're going out to dinner. Yay! I love seeing that boy. :) It's kind of scary...okay, more than scary...but I think I'm really starting to like him a lot. I hope he asks me out soon!

Less than a week 'til Christmas Eve, my most favorite day ever! And I get to spend it with Larry! :D

Kyle and I back in February of this year

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popluver, SatansGift666, Sugar_xxx, thumper68, x_anyotherway_x, x_iloveyou_o

it's a love story, baby, just say yes <3

12/17/08 4:48 am

We are now in week two of Ryan and I not speaking and I'm a little bit better with it. I miss him so much and I hope he comes around soon but I'm not going to let him ruin my life for me. No way, no how. So whatever. I've determined that the number one reason I'm being so cautious and over analyzing everything with Larry is because of Ryan. He hurt me so bad that I think I'm afraid to start liking someone because (a) I was holding on to hope that Ryan would realize he messed up and come back to me and (b) I was afraid that if I fell for someone they'd just hurt me too. But now I've decided that, if Ryan does come back, I'll handle the situation then and life is about taking risks and I can't worry about someone hurting me. Whatever's meant to be will be. So I'm taking a chance and letting my guard up a little with Larry and, you know what, I think it's making me happy.

Speaking of Larry, on Saturday we're going down to Ohio to this big Christmas lights display at the Toledo Zoo. Toledo is only about an hour from his house so I'm gonna go down to his house and then we're going to head down to Toledo for the evening. I Googled the Zoo's website for information on the display and, wow, it looks so beautiful. So I'm really excited to go to that with him! Don't worry, there'll be plenty of pictures. :) OHHHHH and he told me the best thing last night! He called last night and then said he'd call me again later so, around midnight, I get a phone call from him and we're talking and he tells me this Sunday his family's doing their one party (they have four Christmases) so he said that means he's free Christmas Eve which means he'll be spending Christmas Eve with me and my family!! :D :D :D I'm sooo happy! Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the entire year so I really wanted to spend it with him. I think that may be my favorite present. :) And the fact that he's meeting my entire family is a pretty big step considering we're not even official yet. Maybe this means he'll ask me out soon. Hmmm...

Did some of my Christmas shopping today. I've learned that I'm apparently not a big fan of shopping around the Holidays. Like I love malls but, I guess when I'm looking for specific stuff, I tend to get sick of it realllly fast lol. But I got almost all my shopping done before I wanted to come home so that's a good thing! I got my stepdad a half zip-up pullover kind of shirt. I got my mom a really cute snowman sweatshirt (she loves snowmen), a pretty pin, and oven mitts because she's been complaining about hers being all torn up. And then my family does Secret Santas and this year I have my grandma so I got her two sets of pajamas that she really wanted and then I'm going to get her some more stuff later. And I got a really nice picture frame for Larry that I'm gonna put a picture of us in and then I'm still gonna get him more too. So all I have left is to finish his gift and my grandma's gift and I'm done. Woot!

Only 9 more days! :D

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amygrace726, popluver, Reach, SatansGift666, x_anyotherway_x, x_iloveyou_o

ups and downs make my life

12/15/08 4:52 am

Yep, so still not talking to Ryan. And it's still destroying me. I'm going to a party on Friday that's an all-night dealy that's across the street from his house. I don't know if I'm ready for this but I'm trying my hardest to brace myself because I don't want to bail on a good time with people just because of who's across the street. But I'll bet now that I cry when I leave. :/ Fuck, I hate this.

On a good note, though, I had an amazing date night with Larry last night. It was so exciting cuz I hadn't seen him since my Semi Formal and, after a stressful finals week, I was ready for a nice night. And it definitely was quite nice. :) First we went out for Thai food. He even got me to try squid which, I must admit, wasn't that bad! It was really nice, though, and we definitely had a good time. After dinner we went to this park by my house that has a walkthrough light display. It was super cold but it was really romantic to walk through all the lights hand in hand. And they had a little gazebo that we took pictures in and just cuddled and kissed in for a bit. Sooo adorable. :) After all that we went back to my house and had some hot chocolate while watching a movie and Saturday Night Live wiht my parents. He left around 1 am and, I must admit, I was sad to see him go. I already can't wait for our next date. :)

Today I donated blood which wasn't bad minus I'm pretty sure the nurse that I had was enjoying playing darts with my arm. I swear she dug that needle in like daaaaamn. My arm's still bandaged up but I bet it now that I get a massive bruise. I usually bruise pretty good after getting my blood drawn but I think this one's gonna be a killer. It's sooo sore right now. Gah!

11 days 'til Christmas! :D Just gotta get my mom's gift, my grandma's gift, and Larry's gift and then I'm allllll set!