KraZii_BlueZ , 24

I'm excited about that too lol. Apparently my journal is just that interesting lately. :P

So the semester is over! Woot! I have finals next week but no more sitting in lectures that don't seem to ever end. So that's pretty sweet. Last night was a good way to end the semester too. :) My last class is with one of my best friends and one of his fraternity brothers so, after class, we decided to go to Taco Bell (which is like 10 at night, for the record). So we went to Taco Bell and hung out having a great time. And my best friend paid for me which was even more amazing lol. Got back to campus at like 10 something and went to my other best friends to get some stuff from her. Ended up staying there until like midnight just having a deep talk. I told her about Ryan and she told me that she really thinks he'll be back as long as I play it cool. She reminded me of a while back when Ryan had told me that if I didn't push it it would happen. I totally forgot about him saying that so, yea, no pushing! lol. Stayed with her until shortly after midnight, then went to Ryan's which is only 5 doors down. Borrowed a screwdriver from him and ended up staying there until like 1-1:30 or so. Got a couple kisses and he told me he was trying really hard to get his homework all done so he could spend Saturday night. :D Oh and we planned a cute Christmas date to look at lights and I made some comment about how we could cuddle up on the little ride while looking at the lights cuz that'd be so romantic and he agreed. Hmmm....

Tonight's my sorority's Semi Formal. I'm soo excited! My date is a guy I haven't seen in over a year so it'll be really awesome to see him again. He's a total sweetheart and really fun so I'm sure we'll have a really good time. Afterwards we're having a little after party. Nothing major, just a couple people sitting around talking and having a drink or two, maybe putting on a movie or something. Ryan's coming to the after party too so that should be interesting. And then tomorrow he'll be here at least to hang out for a couple hours if not all night. I'm really hoping he can spend the night because I miss falling asleep next to him and waking up in his arms. Gah, that stupid boy! :P

Well, I think that's a good enough entry for journal of the day lol. Tomorrow I promise LOTS of pictures from Semi Formal so be looking forward to that. Now I gotta start getting ready cuz I gotta clean the apartment up a little and get ready for one hell of a crazy weekend.

<3

---

responders

---

amygrace726, Reach, SatansGift666, x_iloveyou_o

---

I'm starting to think (or is it hope?) that I'm going to get that boy back in time. Last night Ryan called around midnight just to talk cuz he knew I was really stressed out and whatever. Our friendship is full of sexual tension and sexual innuendos so they started flying. Well, I apparently got him turned on so, after a long talk about the implications, he showed up at my apartment at 1:30 in the morning. We ended up having sex but, some stuff was said that makes me go "hmm". For instance, after sex we were laying in bed cuddling and he told me how he could walk away from his last ex so easily but, for some reason, he can't with me and how he feels like he's addicted to me and I'm such a temptation to him. And he said he doesn't love me anymore but then he said "I still really have feelings for you. I don't think it's love, but I do still have feelings for you". Don't think it's love? That means you aren't sure. So, gah, I don't know what this all means. Like he still has feelings for and can't seem to walk away from me so does that mean maybe this could work again in time? I have nooo idea! All I know is I was smiling real big after he left and woke up still smiling. I really love him so I really hope he comes back. Tomorrow is my sorority's Semi Formal and he's coming to the afterparty at my apartment. And he said that, depending on how his homework goes (seeing he graduates a week from tomorrow), he may spend Saturday night. Or at least hang out if nothing else. Sooo alright then. I guess we'll see. Maybe there's a reason why my heart's still telling me he's the one...


I want this back......

---

responders

---

amygrace726, Devildog3381, mashuki, Reach, x_anyotherway_x, x_iloveyou_o

---

Alrighty, an update is needed. Due to it being 12:30 in the morning I'm gonna try to keep this semi short but just a few things to fill you in on.

1) Ryan and I are talking again. I was supposed to come back to Saginaw on Monday morning but a huge snow storm rolled in Sunday afternoon so I came back up Sunday morning to avoid getting stuck. Well, the blizzard was way bad up here and I ended up losing power. Kyle (my ex/good friend) offered for me to go to campus and crash on his couch so I could have heat. However, there were people out in the hall and it was pitch black out there so I was a little creeped out to leave. So I started calling people to come get me out lol. I started getting desperate so I tried Ryan for shits and giggles and he actually answered me and said he'd come get me. So he drove 10 minutes, in a blizzard, just to walk me to my car. Hmmm...?? That boy definitely does some weird stuff. So now we're friends again, I guess? Friday is my sorority's Semi Formal and, afterwards, I'm having a VERY tiny after party and he's coming to it. For how much alcohol there'll be, this could get interesting. I guess we'll see over time what happens with Ryan and I.

2) Other boys. There's this guy, Alex, from one of the fraternities on campus who I've been "talking to". It's really cute cuz apparently he has a thing for me so he asked me on a date and was like super smooth but really cute about it. And sooo shy it was kinda adorable. :) We ended up kissing and I think we're gonna hang out Sunday night too. I'm not totally sure how I feel about him but it's nice to have someone chasing me for a change. I feel kinda bad, though, cuz I really like another guy so I guess we'll see. I'm not totally ruling Alex out, though. As for the other guy, his name's Larry and he's my date to Semi Formal. I haven't seen him in over a year so I'm REALLY excited but I'm also super nervous. I just hope I don't ruin any chances at the after party when I have him and Ryan here. Oh boy! lol. I don't even know if he's interested or not but he is putting off moving out of his parents' house to come to my Semi. That could hold potential, perhaps? I guess we shall see on that too.

Ummm I think that covers the two big things of lately. It's the last week of classes which is super amazing. Just have finals next week and then it's all over. And Ryan graduates next week which is definitely mixed emotions but we'll save that for a later entry. Oh, and I dyed my hair a blue/black color. It's been black before but never with a blue tint. I LOVE it! :D There's a couple pictures below. Well, I think that's it now that this got super long lol. Just gonna do some homework and then I think Ryan and I are making a late night Taco Bell run so wooo for that. I so can't wait for this weekend. It should be interesting to say the least. :P


after the big blizzard...9 inches total


look at all that snow


it was pretty though!


to get some measurement idea


me with blue/black hair


I REAAAAAALLY like this picture of me :)

---

responders

---

amygrace726, popluver, Reach, x_anyotherway_x

---

Happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone. I definitely had an interesting one. It was good, just had a scary moment. My brother and sister came over for Thanksgiving at our house which meant the first time having my three nieces and my nephew all together at the same time. So that was really exciting...pure chaos seeing they're 3, 3, 1, and 1 buttt exciting and fun nonetheless. My sister-in-law took my nephew home and my brother and niece were going to come to my grandma's with us so my brother could look at her computer which was having problems. I went with my brother and niece so if the cars got seperated I could still tell him where to go. We weren't even to the end of my street when my sister-in-law called my brother in hysterics. Apparently my nephew fell, hit his head, and stopped breathing. So we raced there and I sat in the car with my niece while my brother went in ant talked to the EMTs. In the end, they took my nephew to the hospital and he ended up being fine but, wow, was that a scare. I was still shaken up when I got to my aunt's for the second round of parties. He's okay, though, so yay for that.
The day before Thanksgiving I had lunch with one of my friends that I hadn't seen in six years!! His name's Dave and he was my best friend/crush my freshman and sophomore years of high school. But then, my junior year, we had a big falling out and didn't talk until just a few weeks ago. He decided we should do lunch when I was home on break so we did and it was really nice. I always like reuniting with old friends so it was really exciting and fun. :)
Today's been a pretty lazy day. I was working on the scrapbook I've been making Ryan for his graduation but it was depressing me a bit so I stopped. It's just really hard to put a lot of time, effort, and love into a gift for someone who won't even talk to you. But I had already invested a lot into it before we stopped talking so I'm going to finish it. My friend/one of Ryan's closest friends, Chester, has a bet going with me on that stupid boy. We're betting whether or not Ryan will talk to me before graduation. Chester says he will, I say he won't. The winner gets a fifth of the liquor of their choice. I think this is the first bet I've ever really wanted to lose. But I guess we'll see..... :/



my really big mango Mai Tai that I had at TGI Friday's a couple days before I came home from break


enjoying my drink...it was sooo good!


my friend that lives in Colorado now but was in town visiting...she dated Ryan's brother so we make all kinds of jokes now lol


Dave and I after our lunch date :)


me on Thanksgiving


my nephew and I on Thanksgiving

---

responders

---

Devildog3381, mashuki, mooshy_moo_1, popluver, x_anyotherway_x

---

So I'm definitely still a mess. I can't take him being out of my life, it's quite literally destroying me. Uggggh I hate this. :And my Semi Formal is coming up for the sorority and, oh yea, he was supposed to be my date. So now I have to try and find a date and, yea, that's going really well. And by really well I mean I can't find a date for shit. Yea, this sucks bad.
On the plus side, I went to the midnight premiere of Twilight with about half my sisters. I didn't get to read the book ahead of time but I think that was a good thing because then I wasn't trying to compare the movie to anything. Aaaand I LOVED it! Definitely want to own it when it comes to DVD. I already can't wait for the sequel.
Going home on Tuesday for Thanksgiving break. I'm supposed to have class Tuesday night but it's with Ryan so I'm opting to skip it and instead go home where I'd much rather be. I just can't take being around him. I already emailed the professor and got all the stuff I'll be missing so really not a big deal.
I think I'm gonna dye my hair again too. I'm hoping for a dark blonde/light brown color. Someone suggested it to me and I thought about it and I could potentially pull it off. I think I'm gonna check out a store and see what they have before I fully commit to this idea.
I think that's really about it. Not much too exciting up here because I've been too busy being depressed and heartbroken. Good times...really. :

crappy picture of me but my hair right now


what I'm thinking of going back to except all over and not just highlights

---

responders

---

CCtheActress, Devildog3381, mashuki, mooshy_moo_1

---