LuzObscura , 31

Well where to begin. Last night was kind of rollar coaster. And not the cool kind at the fair or an amusement park. Although at times I could feel the same sensations that some get while going up and down on them.

I asked a friend of mine on a "unofficial date" last night. Now that may have some of you scratching your head. It's just that we don't live in the same state, so to have a conventional date is not a reality. However, what we did instead is watch movies together over Xbox live as well as chatted. We even played some video games. It was a first for me. I have never done anything like this in my life. I'll tell you what it was more exciting and more rewarding than any date that I have been on. My imagination ran off without me last night.

We watched Moulin Rouge which I haven't seen since I bought it a few months ago. I had to get it again because whoever borrowed it from me never brought it back. We also watched the Notebook. Which is an extremly touching show. My emotions get the best of me when I watch that show. Then after we where done my friend made a comment that made me really lose it. Usually I am able to contain my emotions but I couldnt help it last night.

Those are a few of the highs from last night. Last night a friend of hers was acting up last night. Basically saying a lot of stuff that really wasnt true. Which if it was about me then do big deal I can take it. But he was attacking her and that made me feel terrible almost sick to my stomach. Somethings that she said he was saying made me feel upset. I really dont like to feel that way. I'm glad that I didnt go talk to him because I may have said things I didnt mean or want to say. When I woke up this morning I was a little more in control and sent a message laying it down for him.

Yeah it was a crazy night. I still wouldnt have trade last night for any other. There is more to say, but maybe for another time.

Love,
Aaron

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List of responders

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supermanjoeyluv

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Wow I have a lot going through my head right now, but I dont want to write it all down tonight, but I promise I will have more tommorrow.

Please enjoy the music until tommorrow:
H.I.M.
In Joy and Sorrow

Oh girl, we are the same
We are young and lost and so afraid
There´s no cure for the pain
No shelter from the rain
All our prayers seem to fail

In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow
It's breaking my heart
In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow
It's breaking my heart

Oh girl, we are the same
We are strong and blessed and so brave
With souls to be saved
And faith regained
All our tears wiped away

In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow
It's breaking my heart
In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow
It's breaking my heart

In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow
It's breaking my heart
In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In world so hollow
It's breaking my heart

And my home's in your arms
And it is breaking my heart
My home's in your arms
And it is breaking my heart

Song 2
Once Upon a Broken Heart
The Beu Sisters

Once upon a broken heart
I was walking alone in the dark
Looking for a way to start again
What I wouldn't give for a friend

There was no love in my life
There was no light in my eyes
All the tears that I had cried and cried
Seemed like they'd never end

And I never believed fairy tales came true
But now I know that they really do
Now that I found you and now that I’m here with you
Just look at the sunshine in you

Showed me a world I had never seen
I woke up and fell into this dream
Happily ever after just took time
Once upon this broken heart of mine

Long ago and far away
I could never dream of the day
That your love would come my way and stay
And sweep me away

And I never believed fairy tales came true
But now I know that they really do
Now that I found you and now that I’m here with you
Just look at the sunshine in you

Showed me a world I had never seen
I woke up and fell into this dream
Happily ever after just took time
Once upon this broken heart of mine

This is a way a fairy tale feels
This is the way I know it's real
‘Cause this is the way a broken heart heals yaaaaaeeeee

And I never believed fairy tales came true
But now I know that they really do
Now that I found you and now that I’m here with you
Just look at the sunshine in you

Showed me a world I had never seen
I woke up and fell into this dream
Happily ever after just took time
Once upon this broken heart of mine

Love,
Aaron

Hmmm where to start by putting down my thoughts. It has been snowing here a lot the last couple of weeks. Which is really good, because we do need the moisture. It was nice becuase it has been awhile since I got to use my sunglasses.

You know I was thinking today that it's funny how when you like a person how certain things in your daily routine makes you think of that person. How you can see and hear that person in those that are around you. I dont know about everyone else, but that it is for me.

I have been talking to Wrangler now for almost 3 weeks. Time goes by too quickly. It's funny we start talking and before I realize it's in the early hours of the morning. To some out there that may seem crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I think it's rare that you find a person that you truly connect with. Yeah we dont't agree on everything which is fine I don't want someone that is affraid to speak their mind. I truly respect a person that will not change the way they think because they are affraid that will offend me. If there one thing life has taught me is that you just have to roll with the punches.

Right now the only wrinkle in this relationship is with one of her friends. Which I don't really want to go in to much detail. Let's just say that Her and I have talked out the situation.

I feel truly lucky to have her in my life right now. She has been a inspiration to me. She might dissagre, but it's ok.

As you will come to know that I love music, and I find that no matter what is going on your life there is a song(or maybe songs) that seem to fit. I was listening to a lot of music yesterday and this one seem to stick. So...Wrangler this song is for you....


Avenged Sevenfold
Warmness of the Soul

Your hazel green(should be blue) tint eyes watching every move I make
And the feeling of doubt, it's erased
I'll never feel alone again with you by my side
You're the one and in you I confide

And we have gone through good and bad times
But your unconditional love was always on my mind
You've been there from the start for me
And your love has always been true as can be

I'll give my heart to you, I give my heart
Cause nothing can compare in this world to you

And we have gone through good and bad times
But your unconditional love was always on my mind
You've been there from the start for me
And your love has always been true as can be

I'll give my heart to you, I give my heart
Cause nothing can compare in this world to you
I'll give my heart to you, I give my heart
Cause nothing can compare in this world to you

Love,
Aaron

Well, Ok so I forgot to write the last few days. There is a lot going that has me unsure of what I want to do. Well I am not unsure on my part as I am unsure on the part of a certain someone.

She thinks that she is bothering me by talking to me for hours or that she doesn't deserve me. Neither of which is true.

The honest truth is that everytime I get a message on my phone, message on my XBOX, or a chat invite it brings a smile to my face. Yeah I'm sure that probably seems cheesy. What can I say?

She is a little worried about what will come of this once school starts again. She is affraid that we will drift apart. I would be to if, however there are things we can do to prevent that. I am more than willing to make this work.

It has been a long time since I carred for a person as I do for her. The last time was a few years ago. I was in love with her and we had a lot of good times. Everything was going really well for a period of time. That is until I decided that I didn't want to study medicine any longer. Then everything went sour in our relationship due to most part because of her dad. Well when it came to there was to be no engagement. I was a little heartbroken by the turn of events. I realize now that she was in love with the idea of me and me.

Since then I have been kind of sour on dating others and figured I would be just as I am. I didn't think I would care for anyone again.

Then something really strange happened. It was so surreal. I was playing COD4 that I had recently finished and decided to play online. Well I was having a hard time playing cause I kept losing. I almost turned it off on several occasions. There was something in the back of my mind that said don't. Which eventually led to meeting Wrangler aka Marina.

The real funny thing is that while we were playing I added her to my friend list and then sent a message. Which I still can't belive said "Howdy". I can't belive I wrote that still. I really thought she would have deleted me after that or at least not pay attention. I'll admit that it was my attempt to get her attention.

Since that day it has been like I have been in some wonderful dream. She has brought me back hope that I can love and be loved again. If you where to compare us you wouldn't believe we would get a long. I know its a little cliche but opposites do attract. That is if you look at us like the outside world would. Knowing myself and by getting to know her we are more similar than most would think. She is everything I didn't know that I was looking for.

There are times in my life where I get inspired by people which is usually just a one time thing. But it's different with her I get inspired everytime that I talk to her. She makes me want to try harder and be better.

Marina....if you are reading this. "Thank You" You are a better influence on me than you give yourself credit for. I have done things with you that I wouldn't even imagine doing or sharing with other people. I think that is what makes this so special. I really don't tell anyone about what we talk about. It's really not my place to do so. You went down this list of things that you liked about me the other day. I just thought I would do the same.

xXxMarinaxXx
1. Honest
2. Caring
3. Blue eyes (yeah still jealous my eyes look kind of weird in blue contacts)
4. Voice (grrrr)
5. Your cat (absolutely adorable)
6. Meaningful conversations
7. That you can get me to share anything
8. the way you say 'fuck you' to the people that kill you on COD4. I think its cute.
9. Inspiring
10. Our soung ( i enjoy reading it everyday)

I mean that is just a short list. Thank you so much for being here to talk to. I will put the lyrics to your song in here so you can always have them.

You Don't Have To Be Alone
Song inspired by Marina

Does it seem that when you take
One step forward your taking two steps back?
Does it like the world
Is coming at you too fast?
Does it seem like you are all alone?
Well, You dont have to be.

Chor.
Baby Girl, Turn Around
I'm right here by your side
Take my hand in yours
Let me help you along your way
You dont have to be alone, You are not alone

Has tommorrow come to soon?
Where did the joy of yesterday go?
Do you feel like your world
has come tumbling down around you?
Does it seem like you are all alone?
Well, you dont have to be.

repeat Chor.

When you look at me
What is it that you see?
Do you see a vision of hope
Or a dissapointment from the past?
I know that I'm not perfect, but
You make me see a vision
Of the man I want to be.

repeat Chor.

I wish I could take you away
Back to a time when you were glad.
You try to hide the bruises not able to
Be seen by the outside world.
Just know this: Tommorrow
Holds the hope for yesterday.

repeat Chor.

There it is. You can read it to yourself when I am away at work. Ü

Love,
Aaron
aka Luz

There is a lot going on in my head at the moment. I'm hoping that I will be able this to put down my thoughts to find the answers that I'm seaking. A good friend of mine refered me to this site. I can't thank her enough.

I wonder sometimes what God has in store for me. Sometimes his timing and location where he puts us isn't fair. I'm so far away from the person that I want to be the closest too. It's so unfair how life could keep me from being where I truly want to be.

She is going through such a hard time in her life and I long to be there to help her. Even though she tries to push me away with one arm it seems like she pulls me close with another. At least that is what I would like to think.

I am not sure where this will lead to. I hope that we at least can remain friends. After all I would rather have a friend that can understand me at the very least.

The amazing thing is that I have had writters block for sometime now. I have been wanting to write song for my brother. He has been such a great influence too me on how I should take life. I attibute this to her for unblocking my mind.

Sometime we just need to be stong enough to take the punches as they come. And with every step you take, I'll be with you all the way. And no matter how long it takes, I'll hold on. And I've got a faith that God's watching us.

It's crazy how this has happened. I'm not sure why now she has come my way. But who am I to question.

Aaron