PrincessDaisy3 , 23

something compelled me to write it out for a few minutes. i have nothing particular to talk about or say except what i'm doing now and thats sitting here stoned, relaxed, watching new csi laughing at it and re-downloading a music collection i once had that once consisted of 2000 songs.

thats all i can be sure of right now is that this is happening right now..everything else is shot to hell.

_JG

its really, really hard to be pulled in like 3 different directions all the time. its hard to keep track of, hard to please everybody when you just wanna please yourself. i really do in a way have to put up a fake facade to people just to get through the day..its awful. ive got so much on my plate and the clock is just wearing down every passing moment..its so scary, so intimidating. i just really dont know if i have it in me to trudge through the bullshit but hopefully in the end coming out tens time better than i am now. im confident that will happen but i need to get some assistance in this process cuz i surely cannot do this by myself. i need to really figure myself out and what i want, what i like, who i like, its all so important. where the hell am i gonna be in 5 years? that though terrfies me. well even broadening that term to what is this country going to be like in 5 years? will it be able to trudge through as well? hmm... i guess we shall see.
right now its time to focus on me and figure out jessica : ]

xoxo

fuck having a heart and caring about people...whats the point in all this any ways...

12:20 am :
I hope that everything goes smooth and i can get my shit together tomorrow. i need some more of this luck i've had today to spread. i believe im in the right direction and mind frame. i've got this...and i've also gotta be up at 8 am....good grief.



11:12 am :
So my day has not exactly paned out the way i would have preferred. I guess i wasn't programming good enough i was still letting the negative thoughts seep in. still have plenty of challenges to overcome, and i'm not so sure how i'm going to get it all figured out but it will.. i should just concentrate on the end result and all will work out.
as of now schools regrettably not going to work out all due to finances. i also have the challenge of figuring out how to get to and fro work. walking in snow isnt exactly ideal but might be fact soon.

a lot on my plate right now....but time to sit back, relax and watch history in the making. OBAMA <3



<3 JG

<3