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Well well well..
Marcotte87 24
heeey you! i see youre not overly active on the site… -
Well well well..
Sme 28
Oyy I have very obviously not been on here in a whi… -
Well well well..
Sugar_xxx 26
You finally made an entry!! Lol. That sucks Jewel s… -
It's all just too much
KKzMissShrtcake 26
I figured they would fire him. Like I said, falling… -
It's all just too much
Sugar_xxx 26
Aww, that sucks Mike got fired. I hope he can find …
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xxxxOkay, so I admit Im miserable without you. But I can't help it. Talking to you every day of the week for an hour or maybe more. Brings happniess to my day, even though sometimes it really doesnt seem like Im all that excited to talk to you, or when Im being a bitch... with shitty emotions being all quiet and whatnot. But, I cant describe the feeling of emptiness I have when your not around, or when we dont talk. Your the one who completes me. Makes most of the pain go away. Your the one who creates all these ugly smiles on my unpretty face and all the bubbly feelings, created by your love. every little thing you do for me, still puts a big effect on me. You'll never really realize how much you mean to me.. or how much I really do like you.. how Im so damn grateful to have you in my life and to be able to call you mine. I've wished for so long that I'd be able to be with you, never thought you'd come to liking me.. but things suddenly changed.. and dreams finally came true. Maybe your the one I've been dreaming of. Despite the bad habbits, we learn to work around them.
[x. Life's not a gift, it's a punishment .x] depression here I come--Pictures-weekend blows-sigh-[bgcolor=silver] [color=black][font=webdings]cgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] mood: here entry: ooo
time: oo:oo
[color=black][font=webdings]cgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] Now her soul is Dead... +-+Ahem, today is Mark's birthday... also known as SyCxNxThExHeAdx.. bwahha so you all must go to his lovely journal and wish him a happy birthday cuz he's cool like that.-grins- So, the bad feeling I had yesterday didnt let me down at all. there's a reason for everything and.. well my feelings never lead me the wrong way, from what I've noticed. So here goes the bad news... getting my hopes up too high for a perfect weekend. Happens all the time. Too many times for that matter.. havent seen Mike in two fucking weeks. Yeah, it's killing me, I know others have it worse, but it sucks when he doesnt live that far away from you, and you still cant see the guy. His teacher called his house yesterday while we were on the phone, saying something about how he doesnt turn in his homework, but he told me that he's still passing the class, it's his math class actually. not like it matters, but either way. So, his Mom ended up grounding him. He told me at least a week yesterday on the phone.. but then he said he was gonna try to convince her for four days, since he didnt turn in four assignments. +-+ Now her bodies raw...+-+ Longest we've gone without talking was two days and that was like me giving him a break.. and he went insane. But now it's gonna be the both of us suffering together. -sigh- Dont know if we're gonna get to talk today or not, either way.. I'll probably call just to tell him I love him, just to hear his voice, just something, no matter if be an hour talk or a 2 minute talk, I need to hear him. Then Saturday he said he'd probably end up calling me bcuz his Ma will prolly go drinking er something wont be back till 2ish.. so he wont have anything better to do. So that'll be lovely. As long as he doesnt get caught. But I was looking forward to my punishments from him and all.. and now i have to wait another week. punishments meaning.. he was gonna bite me and.. well yeah play time. haha. I annoyed the hell outta him the other day, so yeah.. +-+ +-+ But bleh.. I dont know. I I really need that kid. Im amazed at how bad I truly do need him. But Im worried he'll end up hurting himself over the time being.. so Im gonna focus on him alot this weekend.. find out for myself. who knows. oh and by the way, Angie, I sent your letter out yesterday. I really dont know what else there is. My insecurities.. kicking in like hell. Im gonna most likely be miserable till Mike's ungrounded.. and only a month left of school. Bwahaha. Im gonna put the link up to my pictures again though, just incase some of you missed it.. you can see the puppy and my ugly face, if you really wish too. Picytures +-+ +-+ write here +-+ [color=black][font=webdings]cgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] +-+ Angie- Eh, I know. I should probably stop worrying and thinking about myself so much. -sigh- hah, it really did suck being numd for four hours.. lol. I couldnt believe it. but at least I barely felt anything and barely any after pains.. so far... hah. Incase you didnt see the pictures yesterday, there's your chance again. heh. hopefully it works this time for you though. take it easy over there though chicky. lurve you. You can numb her PainJulia- Well, I sent you the link.. either way.. if you didnt get it there, hopefully you can see them in here. hehe. thanks though chick. much love to yaz. Mark- alrighty, hope everythings okay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! <33333 Shina- ah, dont worry about the responses and shit, you need your rest chick.. take something for them whatever you gotta do. Whatever it takes till your better. I can wait. eh yeah I've realized how much I really do like Mike and the both of us together... realized that nothings gonna tear us apart as well. heh. yup that was my last babytooth, the one i had pulled yesterday.. heh.. the other one was growing in behind it already.. and the tooth wasnt loose er anything, so had to get the basterd pulled out. haha. but then he said something about getting bands er something just to push the one into place, so i dont know. we shall see. lol aww.. hehe your so sweet. i love you to death woman. making me something and whatnot.. lol your the greatest.. my favorite colors would have to be black and red though... yup yup. I try to be good though. lemme know if you need anything though babycakez. lurve you. Amanda- alrighty. sorry bout not responding to your journal though. hopefully you can forgive me. +-+ [color=black][font=webdings]cgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] +-+ xDarkxAngelx SyCxNxThExHeAdx sweetstuff2169 stephy77 sme Skribblez67 playb0ibabiexo orangeapples1 Numba1chic LiL_Babie_Gurl intensify InsaneLeo Beachdevil182 Arniwyn AmongTheLiving 4M4ND4 +-+ [color=black][font=webdings]cgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] [color=FF00CC]©1Breath, Steal this and my little minions WILL find you!!![>:)][/color] [x. You can never be too sure x.] But these insecurities suck- I really need him--Pug--pictures?--[bgcolor=white][font=wingdings][color=crimson][font=wingdings]«[/color] nn « nn « nn « nn « nn «[/font]
 [CENTER][font=eurostile]HERES MY HEART...[/font][/CENTER] [FONT=eurostile]I suppose yesterday was just like any other day. Sucked as usual. But I've been doing alot of thinking. some of which I dont even understand but eh..I suppose that's life for you. Thinking about Mike and all.. I dont really doubt him but I have a feeling that somethings not right. We've lasted 3 months now.. and we're almost still as happy as can be despite some things. But I know we're gonna hit a rough spot and all hell will break loose. Which is kind of what Im feeling right now. Nothing lasts forever.. and this kid is just as difficult as I am, and much more... when he told his Mom he loved me, she was like "so what she's taking my place now huh" he's never really "loved" anyone before, and now I come along and everythings changed. And I've never actually had someone to care that much about me to do the shit that he does for me, it just seems to unreal. -sigh- I dont know. Im very grateful to have him in my life, but when he goes.. I dont know what's gonna happen. He says he wont leave me.. Im gonna be the one leaving him, cuz supposively he doesnt break up with chicks. But i have a feeling I could change that. I have my bad sides. eh, I I just really love that kid... Eh well.. didnt go to school today, on account of the dentist app. that I had this morning at 9 to get my tooth pulled, wasnt all that bad actually. But, I was fucking numb for like 4 hours.. which really sucked.. I thought I'd like it but it was just a pain in the ass. hah. It's finally gone now though.. and it's 1:00. haha. oh well. I got dragged around to a couple stores with my mom, folded the clothes, sat around most of the time, and now Im gonna try to get my homework done. Ah yeah, and I took some pictures of my Gma's puppy. He's a pug by the way. hehe. He didnt like the camera very much though. He spazzed. But oh well. Im gonna try to get those up here when Im done. But that's really about it. I dont have much to say for today. Besides the fact that I cant wait till this weekend, maybe everything will actually work out nicely, as opposed to last weekend. -sigh- ah, that and I have to write out a list of people who I want to come to my graduation party.. and then design my own invitations.. hah. so.. they're keeping me pretty busy. =( I cant wait to get out of school and everything. hah the little basterd ((doggy)) scratched my legs all up.. lovely eh? He's being a pain in the ass now too. -sigh- Ah well, I got the link up so you guys can see the little demon and I added one or two more of me.. but eh, I dont like em... oh well.. knock your socks off kiddies. Go to "my animals" to see the pug. hehe Puggy and Me [/font] [bgcolor=black][font=eurostile]Responder list here[/font][/bgcolor][CENTER][font=eurostile][font=wingdings][color=crimson][font=wingdings]«[/color] nn[/font] I'LL LET YOU BREAK IT. [font=wingdings]nn [color=crimson]«[/color][/font][/font][/CENTER][/bgcolor] [color=white]
Julie- yeah, he is cute, but a pain in the ass. lol. Still just like a little baby, wants all the attention and loving he can possibly get. Trixie- Eh, I try not too. but it happens.. you know? Thanks for everything though chick. Lurve you. Angie- I know me and Mike are real and all, but it seems to good to be true still.. and I still have the feeling that somethings not right. =/ Im hoping to get your letter out to you today, sorry that it took so long. schools been a pain in the ass.. trying to stay caught up and good grades and all.. -sigh- it'll be over soon. thanks though hun. lurve you. Julia- Thank you for all the support chicky. =) Im actually surprised me and Mike did last this long myself but i could tell from the beginning it was gonna be a semi-long relationship Shina- hope you feel better soon hun. thanks for everything chicky. lurve you. Mark- I sure hope they do. and you take it easy over there hun. <3 Laura- Aw, I missed you too chick. I was wondering where you went too. Sucks without you. =( hm, well I'd say im just a tad bit young to think I've found the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life, but I seriously can not picture me without Mike. Sometimes I get my hopes up too high.. or maybe this is just **puppy love** meh, i dont know. hm what kinda dog do the people upstairs of your house have? heh that should be fun eh? yeah spring program bullshit.. blows out the ass.. they made it mandatory, bcuz last time half the class didnt show up.. and if you didnt go, it'd lower your grade, so ehh.. ah well, thank you for everything Dear. Love you. <333333333 Ally- yeah, well i hope your moods start looking up for you as well Dear. thanks for everything. If you need anything let me know too. =) [x. Nothing Lasts Forever.. x.] I hate them all--emotions blow out the ass--amazed--[font=courier][bgcolor=gray][color=white]
Just forget me
[bgcolor=black] [color=white][[*.Entry 0.2.8.*].[[*.Date 4.28.2004.*]].[[*.Time 7.030.*]] [bgcolor=gray][color=red]I'm all alone [color=darkgray] [[.The silence is too loud.]] [color=red]So unloved [/bgcolor][bgcolor=black]They say nothing lasts forever...and forever seems so far away at the time being. Im still trying to tell myself that all of this is real... it's been 3 months with Mike as of yesterday, but something tells me somethings not right. Maybe the insecurities.. maybe something else, I dont really know. But then again, he's done nothing to tell me that this isnt real. meh, I should stop worrying maybe.. -sigh- I dont know. Usually by this time my relationship would be ending, happened two times in a row.. and now seems like I've found me a great guy, despite some of his habbits and low self-esteem and all, but I can relate to that alot.. so that's probably why we go so well together. I suppose we have alot in common. Maybe thats why everythings working out so well.. Hm, yesterday, I was talking with my (older) bro and I was like Dan dan guess what today is.. and he guessed, didnt get it, so I finally told him it was me and Mike's 3 month anni.. and he was like oh god.. and well I ended up telling him that I really like Mike.. and he goes, and how old are you? heh.. I I dont know... still young and all, but my heart is set on him and only him. Amazingly enough, Mike did tell me happy anniversary.. hah he was really hesitating to say it, bcuz it's not like him, i knew he wanted to though.. haha, course in the end I got my way, and he said it. -grins- Maybe if Im lucky, I'll get to see him two days in a row. heh. yeah.. if only. seems to good to be true, so let's not get our hopes up here. My Gma's going to Kentucky for a week with her boyfriend to watch the races and shit, so we're talking care of her puppy.. he's a cute little pug. hehe. Major ass spaz too. But he's cool. So we get to babysit him and her damn lovebird too. It was bad though, bcuz only 15 minutes after she called the house and told me she was crying... she was saying it's lonely as hell without that dog. heh. I felt really bad. But she's gotta work tomorrow, then she leaves off for a little vacation, and she trusts me with her puppys life so Im supposively "in control" haha it's funny cuz he picked up a pair of half opened scissors.. bwahahah suicide dog. that's fucking awesome. But -sigh- I dont know.. Im not quite back to myself.. having unexplained happiness then sudden bursts of sadness and shit, it's fucking crazy. I dont know. The other day, I was talking to Mike and I was all quiet and shit, being a bitch every other thing I said.. so I got even more depressed after that, just needed something.. and with his love for clowns.. there happens to be one on my bed, so i -sigh- I huggeded it. then I finally realized what I was doing and put it down. We have some spring program shit to do tonight, it's mandatory.. and if you dont go your grade gets lowered.. so I have to go back to school at like 6:45.. which really blows. I'ma be so sick of those people. blah.. i dont know. I cant wait for school to be over. oh well.. me and my horrible thoughts.. nothing new there, I wrote another poem the other day.. planning on putting it up soon too. heh. Text Text Text If you cared I wouldn't be on my own [bgcolor=gray][color=darkgray][[.The whispers of hate.]][/color][/bgcolor]
If you cared I'd still be happy
[font=arial] [color=gray] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[color=white]Plans:[[.school.]][/color][color=white] Wearing:[[.uniform.]][/color][color=gray] Eating/Drinking:[[.nothing.]][/color][color=white] Craving:[[.hug.]][/color][color=gray] Thinking:[[.about Mike.]][/color][color=white] Saying:[[.weiner.]][/color][color=gray] Talking to:[[.no one.]][/color] Mood:[[.bleh.]][/color][color=gray] Kiwi:[[.Mark.]][/color][color=white] Person:[[.Angie.]][/color][color=gray] Hating:[[.pain.]][/color][color=white] Loving:[[.me subbys n Mike.]][/color][color=gray] Quote:[[.you wanna look when you get stabbed with a knife.]][/color] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[color=white] [/font]Tunage:[[.nothing.]][/color][color=gray] Song:[[.superman.]][/color][color=white] CD:[[.My World.]][/color][color=gray] Lyric:[[.My Band my band my baaand.]][/color][color=white] Band:[[.D12.]][/color][color=gray] Band Hottie:[[.Eminem.]][/color][color=white] TV:[[.uhhh.]][/color][color=gray] Show:[[.Family Guy.]][/color][color=white] Website:[[.this one.]][/color] [bgcolor=gray][color=red] The tears you made me cry Burn my face and leave the scars [/bgcolor][color=white] [[.Julie- eh, so maybe we have alot more in common than I think.. or from what you said, the gemini, depression, mood swings, fits with me perfectly. heh. thank you for being apart of my support though. really means alot to me. =) Angie- Yeah, so we do always get through this.. thank you for everything though. ah yeah, I cant believe his mom said that to him either, but obviously she's more of a bitch than I suspected. no offense to her or anything, ya know? she seems like a great lady and all.. but i dont live with her, so eh. haha yeah, I think the D12 cd is pretty awesome. haha Mike's jealous though cuz he couldnt go out to get it yesterday. bwahahha. still working on writing you back too, sorry it's taking so long. lurve you though. Julia- hehe, thank you so much Deary. =D but yes, I think he is a really great guy. -sigh- Amanda- uhh.. I have to get one tooth pulled.. my last baby tooth that didnt come out yet.. and theres one growing in behind it.. therefore making it impossible for them to grow the right way. And this would be the first tooth, I've ever gotten pulled.. soo yeah. Mike's not fat though... I seriously dont think you read half of that correctly but whatever... Emilee- hm, blood eh? sounds exciting to me. hehe. ah well.. Im underweight for my age and height..so i dont know. =/ Ally- Yup yup, the new albums called "My World" if I believe. Very good cd, it tis. Eh, then again Max was my ex boyfriend.. but he set me and Mike up, if it wasnt for Max, I probably wouldnt be with Mike right now, but him doubting the relationship.. really pisses me off. He doesnt know shit.. he talks alot but has nothing to back himself up. lol actually, being a gemini.. Im born in the month of June.. heh. May is uhh Taurus, I believe. -nods- yup yup.. lol im kinda into all that astrology stuff.. so yeah. heh, yeah actually.. Im only gonna turn 14.. i know my profile says different. but there's reasons for that of course. lol. amazing eh? lol you are too good looking, dont be lying to yourself woman. Mark- yeah, I suppose it happens to us all though. Thank you for being around for me though. Sabrina- lol, I love that song. bwahahha. Shina- tis okay sweetheart. Love you <33.]] [bgcolor=gray][color=darkgray][[.Make me bleed.]][/color] [color=red]I look into your eyes and see the person i Thought that I once loved[color=darkgray] [[.No Sympathy.]][/bgcolor]
Layout ©neotdot [bgcolor=gray]Steal and they won't find the body [font=courier]It's that simple[/color][/bgcolor] xxI love Mike. This day marks 3 months for us.
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