With every bad thing that happens, another bad thing happens after that. Aha. The story of my life, let me tell yah.

School starts up again on Monday. Not like it will really make a huge difference because I'm not going to an actual campus anyways. I still havent decided if I was going to keep my Spanish class or not. I thought I may want to because my Translation class consists of Spanish and I may need some help along the way. But, I know that's still going to be a decent amount of work. I decided to challenge myself; and I dont really know that Im ready for all of it. I have too much stress already. Blah. I guess the only thing Im looking forward to is the fact that it will keep me busy without a job. But, once I find one I may be pissed I took this many classes. Gah. ii dont know. The only other depressing part about that is that I no longer have money to pay for my loans now either. So, they're building interest as we speak. Or.. at least one of them is. Le sigh. That's very depressing to me, cause I was really set on paying it off so my parents could keep their money. Piss.

The job hunt is really going well at all. I could have applied to a million places by now, and Im not getting any calls or any luck at all. Which, is very depressing. My next bet is to start calling THEM, but I dont really know how that's going to pan out either. Im almost almost getting desperate.

What I have managed to do is possibly gotten myself an apprentice job. But, of course there are plenty downfalls that come with that for me as well. And that is that it's a committment of 3 months, 3 days a week, from 8:30am-4pm. And of course, it's an unpaid position So, good things may come out of this. But, I'm moreso worried about the part about how Im NOT getting paid. Then if I take on this apprentice thing - I'll need a job to afford the gas money to get there all the time and once I find a job how will I balance the two out? Ugh. ii dont know. I kind of wanted more time to think about it. But, at the same time I didnt/dont want to make the lady wait. I'm supposed to call her to set up an interview. And then... Im kind of scared that she may deny me if this is like a real interview for a job. I just kind of wanted to observe and get the feel of bakery life to see if maybe thats really where my calling is. Dad says we should put a bunch of ovens in the basement and make that my bakery and set up a website and... hopefully the money will just roll in. aha! It could potentially work.... maybe. But, I still have a lot more things to learn, I think. So.. that could be how this apprentice thing comes in handy. I dont know. Im scared to take on so much and not have any time to do anything. Or anytime for Mike either. Though, he says he could support me through it all and we could get through it.. how it's only 3 months etc. etc. But, Idk. I'd still feel kind of bad in the midst of it all.

I guess that's not all horrible news. But, Im not really feeling thrilled about anything at this point. I got a letter in the mail today from the law firm from my ex-job. And the lady told me this might happen. So, apparently they want me to pay a fine of $300. And I had like 20 days er something to pay that or they will possibly up the fine or take more drastic measures. Dad wasnt pleased with it. Course, I'm not really either. But, he keeps considering the lawyer and taking this above and beyond. But.. I honestly just want to be done with it. If other people can go out there and find a job having done worse things and ACTUALLY stealing.. why the hell wouldnt I be able to still find a job? But, I bet with my luck... it will really work against me and I'll never have luck. aha. I fail at life, seriously. So.. Im supposed to think about all of this and the videos and get back to dad about what I want to do. He would really go out on a limb for me through all of this and get the lawyer, but I dont want to drag everyone down with me. I'm pretty sure there's nothing else on tape. But, I really dont know if there's more than just that one incident that they're accusing me of. Yeah, I would have had to waste 400 dollars to this whole thing. But, the stress that it puts on me is killer. I'd just like to be done with it. and, I hope that company burns down and rots in hell. =]

Ohh. Aside from that, Ellie will probably be giving birth soon. Who knows when. Kind of hoping that she doesn't do it in the middle of the night again, because its a really long process. =[ But, its kind of exciting. And its always interesting to see how they grow and whose personality they get. Plus, Im also really really excited to see what color they come out to be this time or mostly if it will change. =P Im making sure the camera is working. cause, lord knows I'll prob have a thousand more pictures to show you all. =] Everyone loves little pups.

Buuuut. I dont know. My moods have been up and down so much. I just want to run away sometimes. That'd be great.

fuck my life.