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mmmm i dunno
OXbeachxBabieXo 24
everything will work out the way it is attended to … -
mmmm i dunno
FatalFantasy 23
i'm really sorry that you're going through all of t… -
over ...
FatalFantasy 23
i'm so sorry that you two aren't together. i no not… -
over ...
X_iloveyou_o 21
=[ im sorry dear. i hope you feel better <3 -
drama drama drama
FatalFantasy 23
i read the whole thing. she sounds extremely arroga…
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SwimChic714 , 25fromCommentsStatistics
uhhhhWell I decided I wanted to get back on Kiwi and now I have no clue how to even use it! I should be writing articles for the newspaper but I'm tend to procrastinate as long as possible.
This month has been a bit ridiculous. Ron finally came down to visit me. Since we got back together last November everything has just been unbelievably amazing. Having him come to the beach was just amazing. And he's more open to the idea of trading months, which is great since I plan to be here 'til February. So July was just problem after problem. First my car battery died - not a big deal. Then my car was hit and the driver fled the scene. Sort of big deal, but my car is OK and all I needed was an alignment. But then my computer died. To top it all off, car problems again. I was driving to pick up my friend from the airport and suddenly my car is louder than normal. My muffler fell off. And then, oh yes it's not over just yet, it started raining in my bathroom! The lady (if you can call her that) upstairs had a leaky toilet. To clarify the lady comment, she used to be a he. In fact, the transformation isn't complete. Now is time for the real writing. Two articles = $60. After this awful month I need it. mmmm i dunno[bgcolor=teal][font=maiandra gd]
you guys are so sweet. thanks for doing everything to be there for me. im sorry i havent responded to your journals. i just havent been in the mood. ive been seeing ron at work and talking to him regularly. we act mostly like nothing has changed. we're supposed to be best friends. i still want him to change his mind. i want him to give us a chance. im getting very angry that he just gave up. his bitch seriously thinks she has a chance now. her facebook status is "im so oh ever so happy." and an away message that said she was taking a nap and "i give you full permission to wake me up if you want to talk to me." i dunno fuck her. im pretty sure he still wouldnt date her. and well he better not because if he does, ill never talk to him again. its weird though. yesterday at work, he came in and i was sweeping and he was like youre doing it wrong and took over and did the entire thing for me. said that he brought me leftovers from his lunch and put them in my locker. when i went to get it, he also put gauntlet in there for me. its a ps2 game that we played together and i LOVE. hes giving me his old ps2. the game was only 12 bucks. but ... that + leftovers, i dunno its a boyfriend thing to do. then today we wrestled like we used to always do. i dunno. we have plans to meet at the bookstore tomorrow. and we made plans to go to a baseball game in august when boston comes to baltimore -- we're boston fans. his dad is in the hospital. hes going on dialysis again because his kidneys have failed (again -- they were transplanted several years ago). i dont know... hes confusing. i do really really want him to change his mind. give us a chance. i just ... our love is real you know. how can he just throw that away cause he's tired of a fight that is sooo easy for him to end? i dont understand. i really just dont understand. i can tell you that if and when he changes his mind, and he should change his mind because he knows im the best thing that has ever happened to me (no im not a cocky bastard, but it is the truth) ... anyways if and when he does change his mind, its not going to be as easy as it was before. where we just get back together and everything is peachy. no, we have issues to work out. i have to work on my not getting so jealous and hes gotta prove hes not gonna give up just cause it gets tough. we've both gotta work on listening to each other better, and realizing when an issue is bigger than it appears. we've gotta fight battles together and make decisions based on whats best for the both of us. i thought i had been doing that, maybe i wasnt. all of that is of course very hopeful. and i cant get to hopeful. i wont allow myself to be let down. i just ... i dont know. i still want this so badly. but maybe i want it, maybe ive always wanted it, more than him. if its meant to be its meant to be right? responders: Amber_Dreams20, FatalFantasy, x_iloveyou_o over ...[bgcolor=teal][font=maiandra gd]
ron and i had a huge blow out monday and tuesday. kt called him sunday, and i got upset. monday his phone rang and i didnt think he could reach it so i went to grab it for him. he said "what did you think it was kt again?" ... and then we just started fighting the rest of the night. it was awful. we still slept in the bed together ... tuesday when he got home from work, we fought some more. the whole thing had just stressed him out so much, he said he was paper thin and he just couldnt be in the middle anymore. i blew it. i let her get to me. when i left his house i said ill see you thursday, kissed him on top of his head and said i love you, he said i love you too. i talked to him yesterday. said sorry for letting it get to me. that he was right, he had reassured me all along and i let my fears control me. i asked him to give me two weeks to prove to him that he could have his girlfriend and his friend. he says he still loves me and he doesnt want to lose me but he cant give me the chance. its fucked up cause i have him a chance and i mess up once and dont get a chance. im still trying to be hopeful because i know that he does love me and i know that if i can just show him maybe he'll remember. but im so upset. i just miss him so much. im miserable. we're trying to be best friends still. hes been a best friend/boyfriend combo for soooo long. i dont think best friend will work ... but im settling for that for now because im still fighting for him. but i dunno im not ready to lose my best friend too. i just dont get why he gave up. i dont get it. im getting angry. and i cant stop crying. ive been crying since monday. youd think i didnt have any tears left. this is the worst pain ever. responders: Amber_Dreams20, FatalFantasy, redrosepetals06, xSplendoredLove drama drama drama[bgcolor=teal][font=maiandra gd]
i wish kt would get out of rons life. i fucking hate that bitch. [/font][/bgcolor]i want happily ever after. i want to get married. i want to start having a family. ive been worrying about that and my life lately. i really am not sure what i want to do. and im worrying if ron is right for me. i mean, since the day i met him three years ago i thought he was. but now that we get closer to the day where we are able to get engaged, get married, start our lives together, i find myself wondering is this right? i dont believe in divorce. no, i dont mean that whoever gets a divorce is wrong. i mean that i only want to be married once, and i want it to last my lifetime. soooo i have to make sure that i have the right man. i dont know, honestly how hes handled the whole kt situation is what makes me question. first by not believing me, then by refusing to get rid of her. it really gets under my skin that he says that if he were in my shoes he would feel the same way, and that he agrees with me that for everything thats happened in the past 5 months, she is not a good friend. still she is important to him. i want so badly to understand why, but all he can say is that shes fun to talk to, and they have good jokes. am i not fun to talk to? do we not have good jokes? am i not enough that you need a 17 year old whore in your life too? thats all i can think. that i simply must not be enough for you. no, you need more than just me. you need her too. and thats not cool with me. he should only need me. he should only want me. a few weeks ago ... right after i had said that i was going to wait until summer, try to be cool with it, be the victim. she attacked me. ill post the conversation here in a minute. but i was on the phone with ron as she was attacking me, telling him everything she was saying to me and everything i was saying to her. ... and he took her side, though he swears he wasnt. i was about to break up with him.(i alluded to this but i didnt want to talk about it). i asked him what he would do if i made him choose... and he said he wouldnt choose. he wouldnt want either of us. but see in not choosing he chooses her. because its already clear that he wont give her up and we know she wont give up on him. so if i gave him the ultimatum, i would have walked out on him. and she would have won. and you know what she doesnt deserve to win. i have faught and cried entirely too much to just let some dumb bitch win. he said he could understand why she blew up because i said i didnt trust or respect her. but he thinks im right to not trust or respect her. and i think its good to be honest. ... heres the conversation you can form your own opinion. i thought i was being pretty nice. kt: hey .. is there something you want to talk to me about judging by your facebook status? .. i dont want to cause drama but i dont want unresolved issues floating about either . me: nah ... i mean kind of ... but the status is about my mother who keeps complaining kt: ok then . me: the only thing im worried about with you is summer time and possible drama there kt: yea . same . but i dont think theres anyway around that . me: nah, i mean ive tried thinking about what summer's going to be like kt: brb momentarily . me: and i dont want drama, but i really just dont trust you or respect you kt: *shrug* feelings mutual so no worries there . kt: i guess all we need is staying out of each others way and we should be ok for the most part . me: you dont trust or respect me? kt: i dont like you . kt: thats all there is to it . me: reason being? kt: *shrug* i just dont . me: well fact of the matter is that i'm with ron kt: no shit . me: so ... you have to deal with me kt: eh .. not really . me: how do you figure you can get around it? kt: ive gotten plenty of practice with my dad and his gf .. i could still interact with him while not having anything to do with her . me: so youre just going to act like i dont exist? kt: that is an option . me: what are your other options kt: eh .. not really sure yet . me: okay well ... i do exist, i will be living with the mills again this summer, i will be working at the bay 6 days a week and on sundays when i take off i will be with ron kt: its funny how you prance around with an "im rons gf" sign taped to your forehead .. from the outside, it kinda seems like your a super duperly clingy and obssessive gf kt: you know .. becuase you say those things i bet with an air of haughtiness like ooo got her now .. but i just find it funny . me: i am trying to impress upon you that ron and i are a package deal, you can't have one without the other kt: no one is a "package deal" and to say that is retarded kt: you cant force me to talk to you ... ok .. tough luck .. you dont "approve" of me being friends with him or whatever .. get over it . me: im not forcing you to talk to me, im forcing you to accept me kt: that sounds an awful lot like something my dads gf constantly said to me .. and my asnwer will be the same to you as it is to her : no . kt: becuase i will not be forced into anything i dont want to accept kt: or whatever me: you dont want to accept me as ron's girlfriend? me: im not asking you to be my friend kt: i accept that notion of it so dont get your panties in a twist kt: but you need to cool it on the "rons gf" parade you throw constantly kt: its lame and pathetic me: i didnt realize it was lame and pathetic to be in love ... im proud of my relationship, im not going to hide it kt: yea, but its just a teensy weensy little bit on the obssessive side me: ive been instructed to stop talking to you, soooo have a fantastic night kt: yea .. tell ron i said night too . you read it, let me know what you think and what you would do. responders: Amber_Dreams20, FatalFantasy OFFICIALLY MOVED OUT![bgcolor=teal][font=maiandra gd]
i was freaking out all weekend because i couldnt get a hold of the people that are storing my bed and dressers and i still needed to move the dressers. turned out the girls phone got wet and died and they never got my messages. i was like oh no i have to throw my dressers out! and theyre nice dressers! but i got a message from the girl on facebook and she was like just call sean's cell we'll get it done. so just before i was getting ready to go over there, i checked my email and mary had sent me a message through facebook. it said "You need to come get the rest of your stuff, clean up the room, and give me the keys because our new roommate needs to move in. A.S.A.P. Tomorrow is May 1st and you said you would be out." could she be a bigger bitch about it? i really dont think so. after i got my stuff out, i responded "please watch your tone with me, im tired of your attitude. yes, tomorrow is may first, which means that i had until 11:59 tonight to get it out. my stuff is out, and i am out. i gave the key to the realtor. have a wonderful life" i hate them. buuuuut anyways. i had my geophysics exam today. it was oral. i had to go and talk to rich about all the concepts. after i was done, he was like you seem terrible nervous, and i said "i am" in like a "wahhhh" voice. lol i dont know why i was freaking out but i was. i did pretty good. i only needed his help on a few things. but he would ask a question and i would have to explain it and draw it on the white board. and i was doing really good at first, thinking through everything and he was like youre doing great. but towards the end my nerves caught up with me and i stumbled a bit. he said i would almost definitely have a b, if not a b+, but not to quote him on that just yet. its the highest class offered so ill be happy with a b or a b+. responders: Amber_Dreams20, FatalFantasy |
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