TheSunIsGone , 27

Dacota and I have been getting really antsy about getting married. We've been engaged for over a year and we're going to be 30 in a few years and we're just fucking ready. We were trying to just wait out all of this prop 8 bullshit but fuck that. So then we were seriously considering going out of state to get married but it's not good timing for us to go out of state. So instead we were talking about doing the civil union thing but it's just not the same.
I don't know. Either we're going to enter a civil union or we're just going to wait so pretty much we're exactly where we were before we started seriously started talking about it. I just want to get to the next part of our lives. I'm so sick of waiting around for someone else to tell us it's ok and we can go ahead and do it. I don't want to fucking wait anymore. I want to be his husband and I want him to be mine and I want to take his last name and I want to start a family and we're not allowed to.
This is so frustrating. 

two years sober as of today. 

cant sleep cant sleep cant sleep
Dacota and I made cupcakes today and now i feel kind of sick and i'm on a major sugar high. WORTH IT. 
theyre really good!
im going to try to sleep soon but i just realized theres about a week and a half left until my ~*~*~*~two years sober~*~*~*~
and dats wuts up 

pretty depressed lately. ive tried to write about it a couple times but it;s too complicated and i lose my train of thought before i finish. i'm just really frustrated because i know what caused it but i'm having a really hard time fixing it. i'm hoping it'll pass on it's own. i think it will and probably soon and knowing that helps but it still sucks.
ive really wanted to just stay in bed. i haven't, but forcing myself to get up has been rough. i dont know what it is about feeling like this that's so tiring.

my shrink thinks i'm ready to stop seeing him quite as often. he thinks once a month would be enough and he said that i could call him if i need to and i we need to schedule an extra appointment that would be fine. but i'm freaking out. this sounds like the worst idea ever.