TheSunIsGone , 27

i just got so fucking busy this weekend with Audrey. ugh. Friday she and her boyfriend broke up (fucking finally). i'm thrilled because i hated that guy, but she's pretty broken up about it so i had to go take care of that.
and then Saturday her sister had her baby after being in labor for seriously almost a week so ive been with Audrey pretty much all friday and saturday and then i was pretty depressed today, sunday because of the baby coming. so yeah, thats whats up. and also getting ready to move.

i'm getting my tattoo this weekend.

so i didn't see Audrey and the baby yesterday. meh, oh well. i still can't really tell if i'm getting sick or not but i didn't want to risk it.
i do feel a little better today, though. i'm less congested. i promised Dacota that if it does get worse i'll go to a doctor. so fuck thaaat i really hope it goes away. idk he just worries about me but i really don't think it's anything to worry about. i get sick easier because of my heart thing but that doesn't mean it's going to affect it.
he's also pushing me to quit smoking completely because he's decided thats not good for my heart either which is probably true but i dont really know. i could do it though, if i really wanted to. i'm only at like one a day right now. maybe tomorrow i'll try to skip it.

i just realized that i'm moving in with Dacota in three weeks. holyyyy shit thats so soon but its still not soon enough. im so excited :]

nothing has really been going on. Audrey is babysitting her niece tomorrow and i'm supposed to hang out with them because i love babies but i'm think i'm getting sick AGAIN so i dont know if i will. but idk i guess its good because i always get depressed after i'm around little kids.

this is so irritating though. i feel like i'm still getting over the last time i was sick and Dacota is kind of being annpying about it. i had this heart thing a long time ago and its better and nothing to worry about anymore but it makes me really prone to getting sick and when i do catch something it has a tendency to be a lot worse than it would be normally. and since i was just sick Dacota has decided that i need to go to a doctor but i do nooooot want to.

but uhhhhh yeah thats it

ive been emailing this girl Katie that i used to be really good friends with before i moved. i went to high school with her and she was catching me up on what everyone i used to know has been up to in the past couple years.
nostalgia is always a bad idea for me. i'm depressed. she told me that she ran into someone we went to school with and he asked what happened to me and when Katie told him i moved to LA he was surprised because he thought i was dead. she aske him why and he said he just figured i would have overdosed by now.
ouch.
i hate that that's how i'm remembered, apparently by everyone. i hate that i'm that person.

last night i had a dream that i was pregnant. with twins.
uhhh, yeah. it was fucking weird.
and the whole time i was really concerned about how i would go about giving birth but i kept reminding myself that there was that one dude that was pregnant except he still had lady parts so it was obviously nottttt the same but i guess that didnt matter in my dream.
anyway. i woke up really confused, to say the least, and kind of depressed. and then i was late to work because i smoked in the morning and i got really sick after. like all clamy and shaky and my head hurt and i thought i was going to throw up. so i had to like drink a bunch of water and lay down and wait for my vision to get back to normal cause i wasnt about to drive like that.

in short, it hasnt been the best day.