UrbanDecay13 , 21

[font=century gothic]


Holy FUCKING Shit.

The Buzz Bake Sale was the best time I have eveer had in my entire life.

I was like halfway stoned when I got home from just inhaling all the smoke from the people that were actually smoking.

I have a cut in the side of my face from where a crowd surfer hit me.

I COULD ALMOST FUCKING TOUCH ADAM LAZARRA!!!!!

He is the hottest man alive.

I wanna fuck him.

So I chilled with Rissa(aka bloodyevenstar) the whole time and it was fucking awesome.

She got stoned.

And her friend Mitch was protecting us from scary TBS fans that wanted to trample over us, and he helped push us up to the front. He was kind of hot.

Story of the Year, Nonpoint, Sevendust, and The Used were also fucking awesome.

But I lost Blakey's hat.

I felt really bad, because it fell out of my pocket at the TBS concert.

If you would like to imagine how much smoke and dust I inhaled, think about this, when I got home I went to blow my nose and my snot was all BLACK.

Well I need to go.

I am extremely hungry.

And then I have softball in 2 hours, and I have to leave in like 20 minutes, but I am so sore because at the TBS concert, I had to keep pushing people away from me. I'm not sure how much I am going to be able to pitch today, because yesterday I pitched almost 14 innings, and then with the concert and all you can only imagine how sore my arms are.





THE BUZZ BAKE SALE WAS THE SHIZZNIT BIZZNITCHES.



i LOVE YOU RiSSA. YOU ARE SO FUCKiNG AWESOME.

*Update*
Oh but I can never just be happy.

Whenever there is a high point in my life, last night being the highest point in my life since June 4th I think it was at the state softball competition, there comes an entirely low point to go with it.

Well I have officially hit that low point.

Less then 24 hours after my high point.

My softball team lost. And you know one loss and your out.

So now were not going to the nationals or whatever in Polk County in 2 weeks. There is no point.

Our players just don't want to play and that's a fact. The team is basically over until January. And by that time I might have entirely decided to quit softball the way things are going.

I love my team but something has happened, and I know Emily sees it too. Because she looked just about how I felt. Like we did shitty and she knew it and there was nothing she could do, as one player, to make anything any better.

And seeing Emily like that made me want to cry. Emily is not the kind of person to be like that.

So I've been crying a lot. And I'm trying to figure out what to do.

It's just so hard, because I'm not sure if I will be able to live for long without the team, because those are some of the only people that actually care about me, and my problems or whatever.

And sometimes it just feels like I do all of it for nothing.

Practice 2-3 times a week. Pitching. Coniditiong. Sacrificing my friends and having fun with them to go to tournaments like this and just lose.

It's horrible.

Well I gotta go so I can try to stop crying and stuff. Maybe get some sleep.

*Another Update*

Right now I love my daddy.

He might pay Megan to help me with my pitching a couple times a week.

That would be the fucking shit.

And he also just made me fucking happy. Even though I'm still crying.

He just comes in my room and goes "Can we talk?"

And I was like sure.

And he just told me how many people have been saying how great I am. 2 more coaches from other teams came up to my dad today and wanted to know who I was.

It didn't matter that my team was losing, they still wanted to know who I was.

And like he just was like "You know, your going to be a star, and you have nothing to hang your head about."

And it just made me happy for a couple moments in time.

Especially when he told me that he might call up Megan and see if she will come out a couple of times a week and help me with my pitching, and probably fielding and stuff too.

And Rissa gave me Mitch's screen name. lol.

Well I am going to go and be happy for as long as I can, and listen to Taking Back Sunday and maybe talk to Mitch, and just think about the Buzz Bake Sale.

*Yet Another Update*
awh. Mitch is so sweet. Too bad he is 5 years older then me.

Figures.

The hot, nice ones are always too old. Or maybe I'm just too young.

Oh well.

I can still talk to him. And maybe hang out with him if my parents would let me, which I highly doubt seeing as he is a hot guy that is 18 years old.

For some reason I'm not sure my parents would approve. lol.