UrbanDecay13 , 21

Right now I wish there was something I could do to stop myself from crying. Everything has just become too much. Everyone has been saying that I am pitching great. I love Coach Joe and Megan for the support they give me. Support that no one else is giving me. I wish I could just be related to them instead of my own family. We lost both both games at our tournament yesterday. And I felt like throwing up. And now it's really hard to stop crying. Because I know that no one cares that I am crying. And no one cares that I am feeling this much emotion and struggling so much.

I don't even know why I am struggling so much. Everyone has been saying I have been pitching excellent. And telling me how far this is going to take me, and complimenting me over and over.

And I'm pretty sure Coach Joe didn't want to but he saw how I was feeling, and he made sure I knew how proud he is of me, and how much he likes my attitude, and how much he believes in me and my pitching, and how far he thinks I'm going to get in life because of it. And I love him for it. And when I say that I don't think Coach Joe wanted to tell me that it's because I don't think he wants me to think that he favors me, or likes me more then the other girls. And I know he doesn't. And I also already knew how proud he was/is of me, I'm just glad he told me, and that he was able to make me feel better.

And Megan made sure that I left there knowing how great I did, and how I had nothing to be mad about, or hang my head about.

I guess it's just hard because I know that my friends don't care.

They don't care about me at all anymore. I'm the person that they talk to when no one else is around, never the person that they walk over to first, or call first. And it just hurts. It really does. Like I know Ben and Jess could really care less how I do at softball, because they don't understand that if it wasn't for softball I may not still be here today. And that's why sometimes I think I love my softball team more then anyone or anything else in my life.

They are some of my best friends, and my coaches are there for me too. Their always looking out for me. And the team is like a family. Not just like friends.

And I know this may sound weird that I love my coaches so much, but with this team, their more then just coaches, and Megan is a friend. Someone that I can look up to and respect, and still be able to talk to. We're all like family.

Well I guess I should go.

I'm gonna try to talk to Emily. Maybe me and her can go to the movies or something today.

*Updates are for losers, so here is mine:*

Well now I'm even more pissed off and I feel like throwing up and it's all because my parents are assholes. Because Christen invited me to go to the Pineapple Festival in Jensen Beach and my parents think it is a waste of money.

That was my one chance to get out of the house.

I haven't left my house, other then for school and softball, in over 3 weeks. And my parents told me that I can go somewhere next weekend but I have practice Friday, and Saturday, so that leaves only Sunday. And I can never to anything on Sundays anyways. Because my parents are assholes like I said before.

I swear I wish Coach Joe and Julie were my parents and Emily was my sister. That would be so much better then my family.

ex'sandoh's
Crispy

Right now I wish there was something I could do to stop myself from crying. Everything has just become too much. Everyone has been saying that I am pitching great. I love Coach Joe and Megan for the support they give me. Support that no one else is giving me. I wish I could just be related to them instead of my own family. We lost both both games at our tournament today. And I felt like throwing up. And now it's really hard to stop crying. Because I know that no one cares that I am crying. And no one cares that I am feeling this much emotion and struggling so much.

I don't even know why I am struggling so much. Everyone has been saying I have been pitching excellent. And telling me how far this is going to take me, and complimenting me over and over.

And I'm pretty sure Coach Joe didn't want to but he saw how I was feeling, and he made sure I knew how proud he is of me, and how much he likes my attitude, and how much he believes in me and my pitching, and how far he thinks I'm going to get in life because of it.And I love him for it.

And Megan made sure that I left there knowing how great I did, and how I had nothing to be mad about, or hang my head about.

I guess it's just hard because I know that my friends don't care.

They don't care about me at all anymore. I'm the person that they talk to when no one else is around, never the person that they walk over to first, or call first. And it just hurts. It really does. Like I know Ben and Jess could really care less how I do at softball, because they don't understand that if it wasn't for softball I may not still be here today. And that's why sometimes I think I love my softball team more then anyone or anything else in my life.

They are some of my best friends, and my coaches are there for me too. Their always looking out for me. And the team is like a family. Not just like friends.

And I know this may sound weird that I love my coaches so much, but with this team, their more then just coaches, and Megan is a friend. Someone that I can look up to a respect, and still be able to talk to.

Well I guess I should go.

Jessica is no longer moving to Colorado. Thank God.

And Blake just got dumped by Nicole. What a freaking whore. I had Blake slap himself for me for being so dumb as to go out with her in the first place.

Funny stuff man.