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We often meet our fate on the road we take to avoid it.
Nickle9 18
wow i am goin thro the same thing except i don dri… -
And the hope that I never see your face again is anything but questio…
Slmys520 27
good luck in 2011,brave girl!there is an absolutely … -
I just don't know.
Jennnnnnn_xo 23
im going through the same bullshit. & it fucking s… -
I just don't know.
Karo_xxo 20
hey , I know exactly how you feel ! When I'm si… -
Home is where you make it love don't get yourself confused.
Essencexofxtear 23
I left and came back.. Kiwi is so shitty now.. Like…
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|° x -»School.[MiSERABLE]//WHEN i GET CLOSE YOU TURN AWAY. ||[font=century gothic]
'ello lurvlies Today I had school. T'was Very very very boring, as always. I got out of half or Mr. Carlsons class which made me happy. Mr. Carlson kicked Josh's backpack and Josh went to the guidance counselor about it. It was funny as hell. Mr. Carlson is a dufus. And he scares me tremendously. Mr. Perry looks like Santa Clause with a short beard. lol. No softball practice tonight which makes me really mad because tonight might have been the last night that I can actually say I am part of the team, seeing as tomorrow I will probably get my math test back, and if I failed that I probably have failed that class, so my parents actually threated to pull me from the softball team. If my parents pull me from the softball team I will literally get straight F's until they let me back on the team. They ruin my dream, which is to be on the Olympic softball team, I ruin my life. Simple as that. My life would be even more hell without softball, and I wouldn't want to live without softball, nor see any purpose in living without softball. And I don't even think it's fucking fair because my brother is probably failing 2 classes, at least thats how many he thinks he is failing, and my parents still give him money and let him go out with his friends and smoke and drink and all that other fun stuff that I don't do anyways, yet I would have the one thing I love taken away from me. I don't think so. Okay sooo... I actually did my math homework last night. I figure if I want to stay on the team I should actually give some effort to my math work. Because if my parents go to see Mr. Carlson about me failing his class he is going to want to see the notes that I have been taking, and he isn't going to have any of the homework that we are supposed to be doing, but it is not required, nor is it optional, and we are supposed to turn it in. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I do as much of the homework as I feel is needed, and then just don't do the rest and don't turn it in. Well that is what I have been doing. But now I am actually doing the work, which is what I shall go do now, along with watching The Biggest Loser and Veronica Mars at 9:00. This is gay. I need more friends that I can talk to. Maybe I shall go call Emily. Or Ben. ex'sandoh's Crispy |° x -»School.[MiSERABLE]//YOU GET WHAT YOU PUT iN. AND PEOPLE GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. ||[font=century gothic]
[font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font][font=wingdings][color=FF6699]o o[/font][font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font]---------------------  ----------If you should be [color=FF6699]my Punk Rock PrIncess [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font] ------------So I would be [color=FF6699]your Garage Band KIng [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font][/color] You could tell me [color=FF6699]why You Just Don't FIt In Today school was fanFUCKINGtastic. Not. School is never fanFUCKINGtastic. So in Carlsons class I had use every inch of energy in my body to stay awake, and even then I started falling asleep. I was shivering in that class because it was so damn cold. He had the air on like 50 or something. I mean it was freezing. Added to the fact that it was cool outside too. And then about 4 periods later I find out that Buddhists can't wake a sleeping man(or woman in my case) so if I had fallen asleep in there it wouldn't have mattereed. Because guess who is a buddhist. I bet you guessed wrong. Because it's MR. CARLSON. lol. I hate that man with a passion. So nothing interesting happened at all today. Except for I got my science forms back. Not that that is interesting, just something that is very important because I need them to pass science next nine-weeks. Stephen gave me a hug today for no apparent reason. I dont think he has said more then 10 words to me in the past year and a half and all of a sudden today he sees me and says gimme a hug so I gave him one, because he is hot. Lol. In gym everyone was making sick jokes about me. And about their dicks and other very not gym related things that were pretty nasty. Right now I am very bored. I wish to call someone but I dont know who. I cant wait for practice tomorrow, although it will just be me and Manda unless the team decides to show up un-announced and practice just for the sake of getting better, not even to please the coaches. Emily won something today but I was half asleep when she was talking to me that I couldnt understand what. Something in Mr. Caps class I suppose. That is what I think she said. Well I shall now go as I have spent the last hour making this layout and such, while I should be doing homework. Toodles and Ta-Ta. *Update* I am very bored. There is nothing to do so I have spent the last 2 hours adding all the pictures from my computer onto www.photobucket.com. I now have 438 pictires on there, all of which are icons I have taken from people. lol. I plan to make new layouts soon. I love the song Some Postman, and the song If You See Jordan. Well I shall go now because I must take a shower to get all clean and good-looking. exsandohs Crispy ----------And how your gonna [color=FF6699]be Something [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font] ------------If I could be [color=FF6699]your Real First Heartbreak [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font][/color] I would do it [color=FF6699]over agaIn---------- Time|4:12 Mood|Arg. Entry|63 Subby Count|11 :o( Hating|School. Loving|The Wildcats. Emily. Thinking about|Softball. Eat, sleep, LIVE Softball. ----------If you should be [color=FF6699]my Punk Rock PrIncess [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font]
----------------------So I would be [color=FF6699]your HeroIn [font=impact][color=FF0033]-Something Corporate-[/font] |° x -»Softball+Put-Put.[MiSERABLE]//PiCTURES FADE AWAY. BUT MEMORiES FOREVER. ||[bgcolor=white][font=impact]ARTIFICIAL HAPPINESS[/font]
Okay so here is what went down yesterday at softball. It was pretty humiliating. We played terrible and Lindsay was such a freaking bitch. Me and Emily were ready to slap her. She made 2 terrible plays, like stopping the ball that was hit at her wasnt even important or something. And she was playing so fucking shallow. If you know anything about softball you know you cannot play second base shallow. And she wouldn't do what anyone was telling her. The entire team told her she had to cover second, never happened, I turned around 2 times to tell her to back-up and not to play so shallow and she gave me a fucking evil look and she wouldn't even listen to Coach. She was just an all around fucking bitch and I really had to stop myself from slapping her. So we lost the first game like 4-0, 8-0. I dont know I didnt pay attention to the score but it was a horrible loss. Manda pitched the 1st 2 innings, I pitched the last 3, and then I started the 2nd game. In the second game it was HUMILIATING. The other team scored 6 runs in the 2nd inning and fucking gave up on us. They wouldnt steal, they put n shitty pitchers, they bunted instead of hitting. I was fucking pissed. And the funny thing is, I couldn't even tell you how they scored 6 runs. I only know how they scored the one run that I fucking gave to them. I just completely forgot to cover home on a pass ball and the runner at third stole home. I felt humiliated just by myself after that one. I cried. I actually cried. After our bad inning Coach Joe called us into a huddle kind of thing and just kept saying stuff that wasn't really helping. He asked us if we wanted to quit with 15 minutes left of the game and he was fucking serious. I don't know what's happened to all of the team, including me, but we just seem sort of dead out there. And it is humiliatiing and saddening. I was fucking miserable because thats 2 weeks in a row that its been my last inning of pitching that the team fell apart. Coach Jeff and Coach Joe must have seen how I felt by my expression, and Coach Jeff cameo over to me and said You pitched a hell of a game, and you got robbed. I guess that helped a little. I just felt useless. Coach Joe didnt say anything to me, but he knew how I was feeling. I could just tell that he knew. It was probably the fact that I was crying when I was up to bat that made him know how I felt, along with my expression and me not talking to anyone, just kind of standing away from everyone in the dugout. That rarely happens. So then we came back in the last game and scored 5 runs in the 4th and 5th inning to make then final score 6-5. After the game Coach Jeff said that we might not come back next week. That if they dont think that were good enough were not coming back. And if he does that hes screwing himself into a damn hole because I will fucking quit if he does that. I mean he is an awesome coach, but no way am I gonna let him do that. [bgcolor=white][font=webdings]-------------------------gggg --------------------gggg ---------------gggg ----------gggg -----gggg[/font] [font=century gothic][color=black]Time|9:37 Mood|MiSERABLE STiLL? Watching/Listening to|All-American Rejects. Wearing|PJs  Hair/Makeup|Down/naddah Hating|that we lost. Loving|the Wildcats. Thinking About|the tourny yesterday.[/font][/color] [bgcolor=white][font=webdings]gggg----- gggg---------- gggg--------------- gggg-------------------- gggg-------------------------[/font] [font=century gothic]So now I feel pretty miserable. But I love Bri and Christen. I think they really accept me now, as a person, not just a softball player. If we hadnt lost yesterday, it would have been an awesome day. So after the games me, Amanda, Lindsey, Emily, and Stephy went to play putt-putt golf with Coach Joe, Coach Jeff, My mom and dad, and Lindseys parents. It was really fun. But I lost horribly. One hole it took my 15 shots to get it in the hole. So that was tons of fun. And I wouldnt let then talk about softball at all. That golf course was a no softball talk zone. lol. I wish I could have gone to Emilys house last night. Instead of coming here to be so bored that I fell asleep at 10:00. I mean what is the point of a 2-day weekend if I dont have enough friends to call me to go to the movies or something. And I just keep growing further and further apart from Jessica. I mean I love her but sometimes it feels like I dont even know her anymore. Well Im going to go before I start crying. exsandohs Crispy[/font] [font=impact]ARTIFICIAL HAPPINESS[/font] [font=century gothic] /-»°©CrispyDuck [/font]|° x -»New Layout. Softball.//THiNK ABOUT THE HEROES SAViNG LiVES iN THE DARK.«- ||[font=century gothic][bgcolor=black]  ----------[font=webdings]ggggg[/font] Time|o7:4oA.M. Entry|61 Mood|MiSERABLE? ----------[font=webdings]ggggg[/font] [color=white]I made this layout last night. Like it? nd I just made another awesome new layout called Artificial Happiness. It is really cool. I'm going to use it tomorrow. I woke up about an hour ago. At 6:48 to be exact. My stupid dog was crying. But I wasn't about to take her out for a walk at 6:45 in the morning when no one else in my house was awake. So today I have a softball tournament. It is going to be majorly awesome. I have a good feeling about this week, because we did so good at practices this week. After the game we are probably going to Golf World for some Put-Put Golf which should be amazingly fun with the Wildcats. Well I am going to go and watch Spongebob and make some more new layouts. And eat something because I am STARViNG!! *Update* Not talking about the tournament for now. Went Put-Putting and had tons of fun, but lost miserably. STARViNG and my dad is bitching about me asking what time dinner is. I love Emily and Bri and Christen the mostest. Read tomorrows entry for the full humiliating and saddening details of the tourny. ex'andoh's x3 Crispy[/color] [font=webdings]ggggg[/font]---------- tHeY wErE RiGhT wHeN tHeY sAiD lOvE iiS tHe [`' s L o W e S t `'] fOrM[/smal] [font=webdings]ggggg[/font]---------- Wearing|PJs Hair/Makeup|tied back/naddah Jewelry|just a string ring and some string bracelets and a LIVESTRONG band because I took off everything I could for softball. Loving|Ben and Emily Hating|My parents. Thinking About|softball today. ----------[font=webdings]ggggg[/font] oF `'sUiCiDe___`bEcAuSe HiS `LiPs aRe lAcEd WiTh | cYaNiDe | . . aNd' ----------[font=webdings]ggggg[/font] Sponsies xO_bAm_CuTiE_oX x27pimpcess14x [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font]
\\ ii'M sO 'AdDiCtEd tO HiS 'KiSs«3// [font=webdings]ggggggggg[/font] |° x -»MiSERABLE//LEAVE A NOTE. FOR YOU MY ONLY ONE.«- ||[font=century gothic]
'ello I am highly miserable. I had the worst dream last night. I had a dream that my brother commited suicide standing against the wall next to our dining room table, by shoving siscors(sp?) through his head. And it was so real that when I woke up I was scared shitless that I was going to walk into the dining room and see him standing against the wall with sciscores sticking out of his head, and I swear I was going to throw up when I woke up that's how real it was. It's not even the fact that my brother would be dead, but the fact that someone would have commited suicide in my house, and seeing another dead body this week that scared me. Luckily it wasn't real(obviously) but I was really scared that when I got home today from school I would see him there. I had to wait to walk around the corner of the kitchen until I knew for sure that he was still alive and home because I heard him talking. Today at school Moe wouldn't stop trying to hold my hand and he kept poking me while we were supposed to be reading. Arg. He broke my dark blue gelly bracelet, what does blue mean? I can't go to Gainsville this weekend because I didn't sign up in time, and neither did Emily or anyone else so we're not going. My parents really piss me off sometimes. I don't think they were even planning on telling me until tomorrow, when I would be like "What time are we leaving for Gainsville today?" and then they would tell me. I really hate them sometimes. And my dad is such an ass that he didn't even get my Buzz Bake Sale tickets yet. If they sell out I am going to not fucking talk to him or he better find another fucking concert for me to go to. I'm sick of chocolate and that's what most of my Halloween candy is. All choclate. Rissa is going to hate me for this but I still have almost all of th M&Ms I got on Monday. Tomorrow I have a tournament and then Put-Put Golf with the team after wards. I suck at that. I hope Emily goes. And I hope Megan is there too. That will make me feel somewhat better. I feel like throwing up. Not because I sick just because I am so fucking miserable. Maybe I will go do that. Well I have hitting/pitching practice so I'm going to go. *Update* Practice was fun. I had lots of fun with Christen, Crystal, Manda, and Stephy. They are really cool and they made me not so miserable anymore. I wish Emily had been there. Tomorrow is going to be awesome, I just hope Coach Joe is there and I hope Megan is there but I highly doubt it. Well I'm going to go chill in front of the TV and eat some pizza. lol. ex'sandoh's Crispy |
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