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We often meet our fate on the road we take to avoid it.
Nickle9 18
wow i am goin thro the same thing except i don dri… -
And the hope that I never see your face again is anything but questio…
Slmys520 27
good luck in 2011,brave girl!there is an absolutely … -
I just don't know.
Jennnnnnn_xo 23
im going through the same bullshit. & it fucking s… -
I just don't know.
Karo_xxo 20
hey , I know exactly how you feel ! When I'm si… -
Home is where you make it love don't get yourself confused.
Essencexofxtear 23
I left and came back.. Kiwi is so shitty now.. Like…
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|° x -»MiSERABLE//I wanna hate you so bad. But I just can't stop this.«- ||[font=century gothic]
'ello lurvlies. I am very mad. My dad is being a procrastinator. We were supposed to get bake sale tickets today and like he's not getting them until Tuesday, which will probably turn into Friday, then Sunday, then 2 weeks from Wednsday. And so on. But I guess he is buying them with his own money. Which he should do by the way. Maybe he is getting the vibe that I am mad? I don't know but I'm happy he is buying them with his money, and I am going to totally thank him for this! Only 35 days left until the Buzz Bake Sale. People have no clue how happy I am that I am going. Nothing interesting is happening. I have softball tonight, games at 4:00 and 5:30. We gotta leave here in 2 hours and I am very happy we're having games today, because if we weren't I would feel stupid that I don't have a Halloween party to go to or something. I still don't know what I am doing tomorrow. I guess I should call Sam and just confirm that it's okay I go to her party, and get directions and stuff. But I don't even know what I'm going to dress up as. My mom wants me to make a costume out of a devil mask, a scream mask, 3 batman capes, and anything else I can find in our 'Halloween Costume' box. It's not going to be a great costume. If I had a skateboard I would go as a skater but I don't. And if I had some black eye-liner, black hair dye and black lipstick I could be a really good gothic chick but that's not happening either. So I'm probably just going to wear normal clothes if I go anywhere. I'm such a damn procrastinator. Well I'm going to go listen to my TBS CD. *update* I am fanFUCKINGtastically MiSERABLE. You cannot even understand. Check back after midnight if you wanna know why I am feeling so horrible. I don't feel like typing it all out now, and I might cry if i do, which I don't want to do while my parents are stil awake. ex'sandoh's x3 Crispy \ ° x //-»[ROT IN HELL//And will You tell All your Friends, you've Got your Gun to My head?]«-/ \[font=century gothic]
My brother and my mom and my dad need to fucking ROT IN HELL. That's exactly what they deserve. Their getting my brother a new fucking phone, and haven't even thought about getting me a phone yet. I'm the fucking good child, the one with good grades, good friends that don't smoke and drink. I've never once come home high or drunk or even gotten high or drunk. I play softball and have dreams that will take me somewhere in life. And yet my brother gets it all. Money all the time for movies, food, concerts, etc., and I have to pay for everything out of my own pocket. It's not even like I can get a job(which my brother could do by the way instead of sitting on his lazy ass), I just get an allowance when my dad feels like giving it to me and that's it. Their probably going to pay for his car, college, insurance, his first apartment. If I don't get a full scholarship, right now I don't know if I'm going to college. Hopefully softball and my grades will get me a scholarship but if not I'm probably screwed. It's not even like my brother is the baby in the family, that's me. I swear I hate everything about my life. Except softball, Ben, Emily, and Jess. The rest of my life is pretty damn terrible. I don't even have plans for halloween yet. I was invited to my friends party but only because I didn't already have plans. This is all just great right? On somewhat of a happier note, I'm probably getting my Buzz Bake Sale tickets tomorrow. If my dad stops being such a fucking procrastinator. I'm gonna go to the mall and buy some for 20 dollars. I won't be happy until I get those tickets. And if I don't get them I am seriously not going to talk to my fucking parents except when absolutely necessary. Ugh. I swear I hate my parents a lot lately. Well I'm going to go and be fucking pissed off, and not have anyone to talk to. And listen to music and read this really awesome book, and maybe eat something. Maybe cookies. ex'sandoh's x3 Crispy \ ° x //-»[Arg, Survey, Boston.//We're damaged from way back when it mattered.]«-/ \\[font=century gothic]
Okay I was really bored yesterday so I fillied this out and I put it on here today. I have nothing to say except Boston sucks ass. I'm actually kind of happy they won though because that fake curse is now broken and they can't blame being a terrible team on a fake curse next year. Haha. And I am wearing my Yankees hat to my softball practice tonight, where everyone will make fun of me. And hopefully Megan is there because Coach Joe(her uncle) said that if she isn't at practice today she can't coach on Saturday. And then she couldn't call me 'New York' and get me really pissed and make me want to hit that ball. ex'sandoh's x3 Crispy 1. First Name: Christina 2. Hair Color: Brown 3. Middle Name: Marie 4. Hair Style: mostly down, up for gym and softball. 5. Eye Color: Dark Brown 6. Height: 5'8" 8. Birthday: March 29 9. Zodiac Sign: Aries 10. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: No 11. Do you have a crush?: yep. Favorites 1. Favorite Animal: dolphin 2. Favorite Sport: to watch: any Yankees game, not much other baseball, and any softball game and to play: softball for sure 3. Favorite Color(s): Black, teal, lime green 4. Favorite Friend(s): Jess, Emily, Ben, Rissa(thats one cool cat) 6. Favorite Song(s): Until the Day I die. One Eighty by Summer. Cute w/o the E 7. Favorite Movie Quote: Say hello to my little friends. 8. Favorite Store: WALLY WORLD!! lol j/k Sports Authority. and the entire mall. 9. Favorite Feeling: when your leg falls asleep and it feels like maybe its not there anymore. 10. Favorite Shoe: Left. 11. Favorite Scent: the smell of burning matches 12. Do You Wear Make-Up?: not really 13. Which is more important, personaliyy or looks?: Personality. 14. What kind of personality do you like in a guy/girl?: Intelligent, caring, good sense of humor etc. 15. Do you move fast or slow in a relationship?: medium 16. What is your idea of the perfect guy/girl?: Ben. or maybe Will, but without being an asshole. 17. Would you ever ask someone out?: I would. 18. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: doesnt matter. just not a carrot top. lol. Love, Life & Friends 1. What is the first thing you notice about somone?: Eyes. Butt. lol.(inside joke) 2. When's the last time you cried?: Yesterday. 3. What do you want to be when you grow up?: Lawyer. Pro-softball player.(If theres a league) 4. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: nope. but pooh-bear is on my bed-side table.lol. 5. How far have you gotten?: <---[this far]---> 6. Do you like someone right now?: Yep. 7. Do they know?: Yep. 8. Do you have a best friend?: Sure do. Have you 1. Had a serious talk?: Yep. 2. Hugged someone?: Yep. 3. Gotten along well with your parents?: not exactly. 4. Fought with a friend?: Yep. Do you like to... 1. Do you like to give hugs? Yep. 2. Give back rubs?: get them maybe? 3. Take walks in the rain?: Always. 4. Do you ever have one of those falling dreams?: Yep. 5. What is on the walls of your room?: glow in the dark stars. calendar. little shelves. pic of jennie finch. bulletin board w/lots of pics and other important stuff. signs. teddy bear that represents my uncle who had to go to war. hes back now but i still have it on my wall sort of honoring him for fighting for us. 6. When you chew gum, what etc..kind?: green Extra. 7. Do you use chap stick?: not really. In the last month have/did you... 1. Drink?: water? 2. Smoke?: no. 3. Drugs?: the drug of love. 4. Have Sex?: nope. 5. Made Out?: nope. 6. Go on a date?: nope. 8. Go to the mall?: nope. 9. Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: nope. 10. Eaten sushi?: nope. 11. Been on stage?: nope. 12. Been dumped?: nope. 13: Had someone unfaithful to you?: yep. 14. Watched The Smurfs?: Emily? haha inside joke. 15. Hiked a mountain?: nope. I live in FL. not exactly any moutains. 16. Made homemade cookies?: nope. 17. Been in love?: mebbe. More stuff. 1. Are you popular?: nope. 2. Are you pretty?: i have my moments. 4. What is your favorite word to say: idk. 5. What is your favorite phrase to say?: idk. 6.what are you doing right now?: This and listening to Linkin Park. 7. What song are you listening to?: Break. 8. What are you wearing?: red soffes. green G.R.E.A.T. shirts. bra and undies aboviously. Preferences 1. Cold or hot?: Cold 2. Lace or satin?: Satin 3. Blue or Red?: blue. 4. New or old?: depends. 5. Rain or snow?: both. 6. Give or receive?: give. 7. Wool or cotton?: cotton. 8. Rose or Daisy?: Rose for romantic. daisy if its just someone being sweet. 9. Private school or public school?: Public 10. Chocolate milk or plain milk?: strawberry. 11. Celsius or Fahrenheit?: fahrenheit. 12. Spring or Fall?: Fall 13. Inny or outty?: Innie 14. Now or then?: Then 15. How many fingers am I holding up?: 72 16. Scent?: this seems like de-ja-vu. burning matches. 17. English or Math?: ooo neither. lunch. 18. Bath or shower?: shower. 19. Bedtime phrase?: idk. 20. Self-stick or lick?: stamps? 21. Cursive or print?: print. both are terrible. 22. Do you like surprises?: yeah. only good ones. 23. Paranoid or Cautious?: paranoid. 24. Heights or Crowds?: crowds. 25. Half-full or half-empty?: half-empty. 26. Top or bottom?: are we talking about bunk beds? 27. do you/Would you dye your hair?: i would. i dont. 28. Speeding or running red lights?: speeding. 29. Gold or silver?: silver. 30. Bad habits?: cracking my knuckles? 31. Piercing?: ears. 32. Erogenous Zone(s)?: huh? 33. "Maybe" or "Mebbe?": maybe. 35. What do you wish you'd done?: asked him sooner. 36. Fetish?: none? 37. Do you have one of THOSE voices?: huh? 38. Jammies or naked?: BANANAS IN PAJAMAS. 39. Neurotic or psychotic?: neurotic. 40. Do you talk to yourself?: all the time. past first grade teacher's name: mrs. young. last word you said: insecure. last song you sang: Crawling-Linkin Park what's in your cd player: Linkin Park mix. what color socks are you wearing: white. what's under your bed: backpack. belt(i wonder why thats there lol). cd player. bad. cds. pillow. blanket. sheets. what time did you wake up today: 5:00 AM where do you want to go: emilys house. what is your career going to be: lawyer? where are you going to live: NJ. NY. Cali? idk. how many kids do you want: 2-7 what kind of car will you have: something fancy. current mood: URG. current music: rock. current taste: well my gum. but it doesnt have a taste anymore. current hair: just down. current smell: wow idk. But I just got toal de-ja vu. like I have done this exact moment before in time. current longing: Ben. or to talk to Emily. current desktop picture: a pic w/ a black background that says: I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue. current favorite artist: Picasso? idk. I dont like art that much. current color of toenails: blue-ish. current worry: science project? current crush: Ben. current hate: mom. 1. what's the story behind your username? urban decay is like a type of make-up thats realy cool, and 13 is my age, softball number, and A-rods number. pretty lucky number eh? 2. name five [5] of your favorite foods. a tuna-fish sub from sorentos in NJ Wawa chocolate peanut butter ice cream Turkey Hill chocolate peanut butter ice cream Anything italian, expecially pizza and Chicken Parmesean Publix Moose Tracks ice cream. 3. have you ever had a makeover? for fun. 4. name all members of the beatles? John. Paul. George. and that last one? 5. what's the longest time you've stayed out of the country/where? never been out. 6. one thing you're grateful for today. Ben and Emily. \ ° x //-»[Uh-Oh//I KNoW YoU WELl ENougH TO KnoW yoU NEVeR LOvED ME]«-/ \\[font=century gothic]
'ello lurvlies. I think I actually hate my mom. This is bad. Actually it's terrible. I don't want to hate my mom, it's just the way it is. Sometimes I don't hate her, but shes just always trying to make me see that things aren't good, like I guess I'm trying to say that she's trying to make me a pessimistic bitch just like her. And she doesn't even know what the rest of my life is like, outside of the house. And my dad didn't care last night that I couldn't see straight and I had delayed reactions because we did cardi-vascular training last night for almost 45 minutes and I have really bad breathing problems so barely any oxygen was getting to my head. Urg. Emily's dad cared. That's Coach Joe. He is so awesome, I swear. And Emily is the most awesomesternessingerestest ever. She noticed when I hurt my ankle last night, and actually cared. She's like my sister. I love her more then I love my brother so she really is like my sister. I can't wait until the weekend after next. November 6th-7th. I get to spend the whole weekend with Emily, Amanda, Linsdey, Coach Joe, Coach Jeff, and I think Emily's mom. We're going to a softball clinic up at the University of Florida. I am so F*n excited. I get to be away from my parents for the whole weekend, I won't even have to see them for more then 10 minutes Sunday night because when I get home I'm taking a shower and then falling into bed, because I won't be home until around 11 or midnight. Yes. I am SO excited. You people don't even understand how much I would rather spend time w/Emily's family, and other people from my softball team, then my own family. Megan is pissing me off. She's Emily's 20 yr-old cousin. She's really awesome just like Emily, I mean they could be sisters, but she isn't coming to softball practices anymore because she works, and when she gets home shes just 'too tired.' I got to school 5 fucking days a week, play softball after school 2 of them, and play tournaments on Saturdays. I have a fucking non-stop week and she gets to work 4 days a week from 6am-4pm and then just go home and fall asleep for the next 12 hours? It's not that I don't like my schedule, because I love being busy, it's just that I don't think it's right that Megan is letting the team down by not being at practices. She really helps us out, and she can totally help us with what we're doing wrong, like she's not afraid to point out that we're doing terribly at practice or that we're not doing what we're supposed to, and it really helps. Urg. It's making me very very mad. AHH. So basically I was very mad today. Mad at my family, Megan, and half of the rest of the world. Not fun. But I am still terribly excited about the Buzz Bake Sale, because Taking Back Sunday is going to be there. Hell yeah! I sat with Mariah and Rissa at lunch today. T'was very fun. We should do it again tomorrow. [-Puts hand to throat..UHHHH..-] [All those people wearing camouflage. Do they want to be trees Rissa? haha.] Well I'm going to eat cookies and do some push-ups and crunches. and the Iron Dagger.(I bet your all wondering how painful that one is.) Arg. The Red Sox game is on in about 20 minutes. If they win tonight it's really going to suck more for them. Because next year when they don't even make it to the World Series they can't blame it on a curse, because the 'curse' is 'broken' when and if they win. So next year they will just be terrible-baseball playing bums. Haha. They'll be bums. Okay sorry completely and totally hyper moment. I'm done now. ex'sandoh's x3 Crispy \ ° x //-»[HOLY SHiT!!!!//i DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORTH FiGHTiNG FOR. OR WHY i HAVE TO SCREAM.]«-/ \\[font=century gothic]
O MY GOD. This so totally deserves a spot at the top of my entry. I'm going to the Buzz Bake Sale right? Which isn't a Bake Sale but a really concert with tons of bands. And TAKING BACK SUNDAY is going to be there. Along with Blake and Rissa and me and other people too that I know, but Blake and Rissa are definitely the coolest. And Story of the Year is going to be there, so I am so totally happy. I've been wanting to see them for over a year. YAY. Now back to your regularly scheduled entry. lol. Urg. School was so fucking boring. I swear I was asleep with my eyes open in Mr. Carlson's class. I wasn't thinking at all, just sitting there staring into blank space. I got a 95 on my History test. That makes me uberly happy. I think I did good on my math quiz, but Carlson is going to be mad because I didn't do the problems his way. I've been listening to Linkin Park music everytime I've had the chance everyday for the past week. I love Linkin Park. Nicole Hartley thinks we are friends, but she is the same exact person as she was in 6th grade, just taller, and with longer hair. She even looks the same, just without her uni-brow. Ugh. I'm eating some cookies right now. Yum. Well I'm going to go and do something, like listen to Linkin Park music, or watch Boy Meets World. I can't wait until softball practice tonight so I can take out some aggression during hitting practice. Yay. *UpdizzLe* I'm going to cry. We had almost a 3 hour practice w/ cardio vascular training and my dad didn't even care, or notice, that I couldn't see straight, and had delayed reactions, because not enough blood and air was flowing to me head. Coach Joe cared. And Emily cared when I hurt my ankle tonight. I swear, they care more then my real family. My mom is just an all around fucking pessimistic bitch. That's where I get all my fucking pessimism from, and when I try to be optomistic she just fucking pushes me back down on my ass(so to speak) and makes me hate my life, and her, even more. I swear. I'd rather live with Emily then my own family. ex'sandoh's x3 Crispy Today is my fiftieth(I spelt that totally wrong.) entry. Yay for me? P.S. -steals cookie back from Rissa- |
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