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VixenSoul

VixenSoul , 22

from Fort Edward

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Makin your heart stop just before you hit the floor you think you won and the its all gone

  • 07/05/05 5:51 pm

Shoutouts to people who responded

CaliBaby09 :




MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:I've got the good weed at my house.-Nice, let's go.-I need some weed first.-Dude! You just said it was at your house!-Oh yeah!

Hey people. Yesterday was a so-so day. I woke up semi-late which kinda pissed me off. I wanted to start work early but no, my dad had to be a prick & not wake me up. Oh well. I got in the shower, got dressed & everything & then went outside & Peter & mom had already loaded all 125 bales of hay onto his truck so I helped haul all the hay into the barn. We had about 4 breaks which wasn't bad. It seemed to go quicker this year and of course I got the usual blisters on my pointer fingers. While I was sweeping the leftover scattered hay off the bed of Peter's truck into the wheelbarrow my grandparents pulled up in the driveway. After I was done sweepin the hay I went inside cause I knew if I stayed outside I'd be sitting there like an idiot. Things aren't really the same between me & my grandparents anymore.

Anyways, I laid around in my room for awhile & then got online for an hour or two. Dad left for work & mom & Peter went out to the inlet & my brother was asleep so I had Christopher come over & hang out for awhile. After he left mom & peter eventually came back. We had dinner & I watched tv for awhile. Kristin called & I was so glad I finally got to talk to her. I miss her so much. I can't wait until she's back. We actually cheered eachother up which i thought was kinda funny. I knew she was upset cause Matt's been hangin around with this other girl or whatever & she can't wait to get back here cause she misses it so much so I cheered her up. She cheered me up without even knowing I was sad. I love her. After i hung up with her I got back online for a bit & then went to bed. Well I guess I should go. Peace <3Aisling

Mood:good
Wearing:white pants & a black motorcycle muscle shirt & a Guns N Roses beanie
Hair:down
Jewelry:6rings & 1 bracelet & 3 earrings & 1 cartlidge earring
Hearing:Linkin Park
Talking To:Christy
Eating/Drinking:nothing/water
Thinking:about Kristin coming back
Wanting:Kristin to be back already
Random Thought:i love Nick
About To:respond to journals

i would spend my whole life through loving you just loving you winter summer springtime to lovin you

  • 07/04/05 4:10 am

Shoutouts to people who responded

babe_munke13 :
CaliBaby09 :
kareemsbaby :



MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:Beer, music, floating raft, pool...now this is the life!

Hey people. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!! The only thing I'm really happy about it being the fourth of july is that it's my baby girl's second birthday. She's gotten so big. I love her to death =) Other than that I'm in a really shitty mood. I'm still up this early in the frigin morning because I can't sleep. I honestly think too damn much & I can never control it. My mind is always multitasking conciously & subconciously on about a million thoughts at once which is very hard to do but somehow easy for me. Anyways, onto WHY I'm in such a not so good mood.

Yesterday I woke up late which was nice, that is until my dad came in my room to tell me that Duckie called. I was tired, did not want to be disturbed. Eventually he left my room & i went back to sleep for about ten minutes. Then I got up, got online, made my entry, responded to journals & then went & had breakfast while watching the movie Point Break starring Keanu Reeves & Patrick Swayze *2 of my biggest crushes* so that was good. That is until my dad took it upon himself to join me. He kept bugging me & asking if I had called Duckie back yet. Even when he hadn't moved & I was sitting right in front of him five minutes later during a commercial he'd ask "Have you called her back yet?" So I finally went upstairs & grabbed some clean clothes & took a shower.

After I got out of the shower I went downstairs & started making a sandwhich. "Have you called her back yet?" grr...after about ten minutes of arguing with me he left the room & I ate my sandwhich while watching a movie. Afterwards
I went out in the living room & found another movie to watch on the satellite and about 10 mins later my dad comes in & starts YELLING at me for absolutly NOTHING! He grabbed the remote out of my hand & changed the channel so I just
went up to my room. I haven't cut myself in almost SEVEN MONTHS and I felt such a major urge to cut at that moment...but I didn't. I wrote a poem instead. Eventually I went back downstairs & the tv was on but my dad was OUTSIDE! So I just changed the channel back to what I was watching. Then my mom came in & Peter walked in. I was happy Peter was there but out of nowhere my mom starts yelling at me telling me to do the dishes! So I did the dishes & then went &
sat with mom & Peter on the back deck while we had supper.

Kristof called so I talked to him for awhile. After I hung up with him I went back outside until Peter left. Mom & I were talking about my birthday coming up & she said its fine if I have Ker, Christy & Melissa spend the night & then I asked her if Nick & Will could come over for awhile as well but she said no. I asked why & she said "Because I said so." First of all I haven't even been able to SEE Nick for a MONTH because of her & she's telling me I can't even have him over on my BIRTHDAY?!?! I have nothing here. Nothing at all. I'm not
allowed to even leave the house unless she escorts me where I'm going! And even with that, I'm not allowed to hang out with Christy or Jon or Nick or Will. Wtf? She has no idea what she does, it messes with my mind SO bad. All I want and
need are my friends cause they're all I care about & she can't seem to understand that.

So yeah. Great life I have huh? Trapped in this house most of the time. The only time I get OUT is when I'm either at Melissa's, at school or at the barn. I only get to hang out with ONE friend and seeing Brianna? THAT was rare! That
was the first time I've even SEEN Brie in the year of 2005! I can't wait until I'm 18. I just can't wait. Ok well I'm gonna go. This is long enough. Peace <3Aisling

Mood:not so good
Wearing:jeans & a white tanktop
Hair:ponytail
Jewelry:none
Hearing:Elvis-Can't Help Falling In Love With You
Talking To:Melissa
Eating/Drinking:nothing/Root Beer
Thinking:about everyone i love
Wanting:to be with my friends & boyfriend
Random Thought:I love Nick
About To:hopefully NOT cry

when im around you i dont feel together it doesnt feel right at all together holding hands will fall

  • 07/03/05 3:11 pm

Shoutouts to people who responded

babe_munke13 :
kareemsbaby :




MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:Is it snowing you guys?-No-Oh then i must be high.

Hey people. Last night was fun. After I made my entry Brianna, my most favorite best cousin in the whole world,lol and I grabbed the noodles for the pool & then went & changed into our bathing suits. Before we got all the way in the pool we sat on the side & just put our feet in. She was randomly like "Aisling I have alot to tell you girl!" lol I wasn't exactly sure but I asked her "Are you now guilty on all three accounts?" lol That would be handjobs,blowjobs & sex. And she said yes! lol Her & Jason had sex for the first time a couple days ago,lol & it was just so funny cause whenever her dad or our grandpa would walk by one of us would be like "So did you go see that new movie yet?" or "Oh my god Debbie really DID that?" lol It was so funny.

After we got out of the pool we sat by the side of the pool in the sun talking & tanning & listening to her new Ipod which is really sweet. Then we went & changed & had dinner. It was cool cause Heather *she's 17*, Brianna and I *are the same age* all got a little tipsy cause the adults were letting us have some wine. It was so funny cause Brie's eyes bugged out of her head when I asked my mom if I could try the red wine & she was like "sure" so i had like 1/2 a glass of the white wine left in my glass & i just downed it! lol The white wine was a hell of a lot better than the red wine though. After everyone had dinner we had brownies for dessert that Brie made. You could tell we were all tipsy cause somehow we got onto the conversation of whether or not chinese people can have red haired babies! lol

After that I showed Brie a video the guys made of them "beating eachother up" lol its so hilarious. Then Brie & i were layin on one of the beds in the playroom talking about stuff. Then she called Jason on her moms cell & talked to him for a few minutes & she hung up with him when her mom & Heather came in the room. While all the adults were down in the basement *my grandpa has a bar in the basement which is really awesome* Heather,Brianna & i talked about basically everything. We're gonna try & figure out a weekend for Brie to take time off work on a weekend so I can stay a weekend down there with them. It cant be next weekend cause she's gotta work & so we figured it could be the weekend after my birthday but when I checked my calender this morning I found out i cant cause that weekend Im stayin at Melissa's to go to Edgefest with her.

Oh well, we'll figure out something. So anyways, last night by 9:30 we left Ann & Richard's. My mom was the designated driver so we took Peter home. It was so funny cause Peter & i were picking on eachother the whole way home. I love my Uncle Peter. He's the best. As soon as we got home I brought all my stuff up to my room, changed into my pj's, read a couple chapters from one of the books i'm reading & then fell asleep cause I was so tired. Well I've gotta go. Have a good one! Peace <3Aisling

Oh yeah & an explanation for why I felt bummed out yesterday was cause I had my mom & Ann ragging on me about school shit. They don't believe I don't know how to study. Ok scratch that, my mom LIED about it. When i've talked to her before she's told me that I dont know how to study & yesterday she said that its bullshit if i dont know how to study so yeah she's twofaced and I dont even give a shit anymore. They just make me feel like im not gonna be able to succeed at anything I want to do. And what I want to do they think is pointless so yeah. Thats basically it.

Mood:tired
Wearing:pj's
Hair:down & messy
Jewelry:none
Hearing:Avril Lavigne
Talking To:nobody
Eating/Drinking:nothing/nothing
Thinking:about everyone i love
Wanting:breakfast
Random Thought:im thirsty
About To:respond to journals

sorry its so late

  • 07/02/05 9:30 pm

Shoutouts to people who responded

CaliBaby09 :
itzmurduh6t9 :
kareemsbaby :



Hey people. I haven't even been home yet. Right now I'm at Ann & Richards, my grandparents. My cousins Heather & Brianna are here *yay!* gotta love em, my aunt Debra, Uncle Terry & Uncle Peter are here as well. We're all here for dinner so it's cool. I had fun at Melissa's =) We ended up goin to Rosemary's *her gram's* for about five hours which was fun. There was a huge thunderstorm which we watched until four in the morning.

Today we went to Hot Topic & I got a new Guns N Roses beanie. Then we picked up Melissa's brother from camp & went back to the house and a little while later my mom picked me up. Well i should go. I'll leave you with a poem I just wrote and yes since i just wrote it it does explain that i'm kinda down in the dumps, I'll explain why tomorrow. Peace <3Aisling

My True End

Divided between these two personalities, I'm sorry to say I can't hide very well anymore. I've begun to believe these harsh words you say on your mind. Throughout the day I am in disguise without any way of knowing in the end if I will survive. These smiles, this laughter, these are my lies. My tears, my sobs, these are my truths and feelings inside. I don't know how I lost my way. I don't know how I've already disappointed you. All I know is that what you expect of me is tearing me apart. I try to find comfort in knowing this place will not hold me captive forever. However I do know that in the end, life is nothing but memories and your demise of who I am and what you have made me that you so strongly hate will haunt me until the end of my days.

Mood:ok when brianna is around/crappy when im not
Wearing:jeans & a red tanktop
Hair:down
Jewelry:6rings & 1 necklace & 3 earrings & 1 cartilidge earring &4 bracelets
Hearing:nothing
Talking To:nobody
Eating/Drinking:nothing
Thinking:about crying
Wanting:to cry
Random Thought:life blows
About To:go swimming with Brie, hopefully it'll cheer me up

everyones so full of shit born and raised by hypocrites

  • 07/01/05 11:08 am

Shoutouts to people who responded

CaliBaby09 :
itzmurduh6t9 :
kareemsbaby :




MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:I thought I saw it...but I'm not sure, I mean it could have been right in front of my face but I don't know if it was...so what's your opinion on UFO's? lol

Hey people. It's friday! Doesn't really make much of a difference to me since it's summer. I don't even really like fridays during the school year cause I never want to come home. lol I'm a very odd person. Oh well. Odd is good. I'm hyper right now! lol Blaring my Green Day cd hehe. Love it! Well let's see. Yesterday was ok I guess. I woke up late again, got online, made my entry, responded to journals, then took a shower & got dressed. I watched tv for awhile and my dad got mad at me cause I watched a movie he doesn't like. Oh well, not my problem if he doesn't have good taste in movies.

I surfed the net for awhile & then Melissa called to tell me what time the garage sale was gonna be so I could come over early to help out with everything. After I hung up with her I went upstairs & played a little more of a computer game I'm playing. Then I called Nick & talked to him for awhile. I could hear Jon in the backround playing a new game they got. I forgot what it's called but in the game you're this alien & you get to destroy stuff & kill people,lol. You know those doughnut places that have those huge doughnuts on the roof of the building? Well one of those was in the game & Jon was carrying the huge doughnut around in the air with the spaceship,lol so funny. Jon likes destroying stuff,lol.

After I hung up with Nick I played some more of my game, then I got bored so I went downstairs & started watching tv. I remembered I told Kristin I'd call her so I tried but no answer. Then I tried callin Melissa on her cell but she was still in the restaurant. So once she left the restaurant she called me back & said she was only 1/2 an hour away from home & shed call me as soon as she got home. Not even 2 minutes after I hung up with her the phone rang & it was Kristof. I talked to him for about fifteen minutes cause the battery on his phone was wicked low. He had wanted me to ask Curtis, my best friend thats been like a brother to me since first grade, if he would go out with him and I asked Curt & he said he doesn't like guys anymore so that kinda bummed Kristof but he's good. He still wants me to find him someone but mostly everyone i know is taken! lol

After I hung up with Kristof it was already 9:30 so I was watchin Finding Nemo, love that movie, and next thing I know it's 10:00 & Melissa calls lol. So yeah I'm deffinatly helping out with the garage sale & I have to be there by 9:30 this morning & I'm also spending the night there =) I love my Melissa. We've known eachother literally since we were born & we've always been best friends. Even with all the moving around she did we've always been inseperable. After the garage sale Asa might come over to swim with us *yay!* hopefully he will cause I've been dyin to meet the kid. He's the only guy in Melissa's grade that I haven't met! lol So after I hung up with Melissa I watched a couple episodes of Viva La Bam & then a couple episodes of Roseanne & ended up falling asleep on the couch. Well that's it for me, I've gotta grab something to eat & finish getting ready & packing, Have a good one! Peace <3Aisling

Mood:good/tired
Wearing:black leather pants/red tanktop under a light gray sleeveless shirt w/ cuts in the front of it
Hair:down
Jewelry:none
Hearing:Green Day
Talking To:nobody
Eating/Drinking:nothing/nothing
Thinking:about everyone i love
Wanting:coffee
Random Thought:i love Nick
About To:respond to journals