WamBAMThnkUMaam , 48

so I think that i have come to a decision, on something that i havn't really said anything about before, but I've been thinking about it. I'm unh, in the proccess of e-mailing Alvernia's psychologist, becuase I just have really bad anxiety.. & I know it.. unless I'm just blaming all my shakeyness and my worrying on it.. but everytime something goes wrong with me, I get completely out of my mind worried and I think alot of people are out to get me, I'm crazy secluded.. everything.. I just feel like everything is crasjing down on me. between Alvernia and everything. Like now, I've had these bumps in my mouth for a while and my throat sometimes hurts and my athsma has been acting up.. I think it's my Athsma, I just go crazy with worry and I'm okay when I don't think about it. or like when I'm doing something that prohibits me from thinking about, but when I get the chance, I just drive myself fucking crazy with worriment..

but on another note I guess, I want to make a shirt for when i see nevershoutnever.
and I want to talk to mike..

So, I'm not getting my hopes up since I don't want to get disapointed but The Olivets may hire me during the summer, well I have to go some type of application process and I need some stuff, but idk, I have hope. which is good.
I know don't have one day off during the week which sucks, but oh well. I guess this is growing up..  Zachariah, is good, haha, I guess, he has bumps from where he got his shots I think, idk, I guess I have to call the vet about it, but I also have to call MerchNow, becuase they still havn't cashed the check I sent them, but they sent me my merch, WTF?

Either way, oh well.

I started writing Katie a letter, but then I had to go to ADA. I think Saturday, Vanessa and I are going to AA at some time at night, haha..

mm, and Mike, we never talked..
we need too.

I'm becoming like mike with my entry names that make no sense or have no meaning, haha, ahh well.
that's not meant to be offensive.. I like your no names so much that I've ecided to steal your ideas, proud? you've started a trend.
I've decided that I just want to say anything that comes into my head and may completely ridiculous and make no sense. I've also realized that when I talk or well type I end up being extremely wordy and I can't help it I like never having to stop. I also hard;y use the adequate amount of puncuation for my sentences. and my punctuation of choice is the comma, which is horrible. I throw millions of commas where the don't belong and in any sentence.
bllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllarrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
idunno, I'm fucking bored, horribly.
I'm on Spring break, it's not spring, it's cold out and wet and PA is supposed to get a hello big amount of scow on what Sunday? the seventh..

f.m.l

maybe break will go into next week.

Also, one of my rats died today due to the bigger rat being a bully and tearing up her eyes and nose ;[
I felt bad for her, and I also hoped that she wouldn't have died but well it was for the best, she isn't going to suffer anymore.

I recently got a new hoodie, haha, i needed it, my old one was terrible, it was all ripped and just quite dead. Zachariah is doing well he's four months. I never really use Kiwibox anymore, idk, I stop by sometimes, blargh. I don't really have time. I'm in my second semester already at Alvernia.. uhm, I had a math test today and I had to go with Steph to get her glasses.. I have a bunch of work to do.. Got done at ALvernia early today because there's going to be a veiwing/wake for one of the sisters who died over the weekend I think. So my Psych was cancelled.

blargh. I'm tired like always.