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In This Issue » Life & Love » Going the Distance

Going the Distance

When love's got to stretch for miles

Written by: Jilly R., Reporter – Posted: Sat Dec 29th, 2001
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Most students in high school never deal with the pain of not seeing their beloved other for months at a time. Most students in high school have weekly dates, or simply don't have anyone to call their own. Most think that they and their love will be together forever.

Then comes senior year, graduation, and the realization that the college of their choice is not the college that he will be going too. In fact, he might be in another state, or across the country. Suddenly, all the plans of spending weekends together, late night study groups, and long romantic nights together fly out the window.

College starts, letters sent, and weekly phone calls to each other help keep the love alive. But eventually, they hit a lag. A time when everything seems to be against them. Neither has had a decent nights rest in weeks, finals are coming up, she wants to see him during the break, he wants to spend time with his buddies. Someone suggests that maybe, just maybe, it would be better if they were friends.

That is how most Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) are. Everything is great, until the couple hits a rough spot and suddenly the cute boy in Econ seems so tempting. Or the hot girl in Astronomy won't leave his mind.

Many couples in LDRs seem to forget that every relationship has its ups and downs. Every relationship has times when both partners feel as though it isn't worth staying together. But most people in LDRs blame the distance for their problems rather than realizing that the problem is in their relationship rather than in the distance.
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I love this article. It has some really great tips for me that
will be so helpful!! thanx
i wish we didn't live in different cities. god i love him, even
though hes a jackass

long distance relationships suck ass!! i hated mine, i was in it
for 4 months with this guy i loved to death and, we broke up just
cuz the distance got in the way and it was hard not seeing
eachother and it was like i had an imaginary b/f and he had an
imaginary g/f so it wasnt worth it and i would never be in it
again!!
I have am currently dealing with a long distance relationship
because my boyfriend joined the Air Force. Right now he's in
Texas and in March he will be going to Arizona. So far, he's been
gone about 4 months. We've been going out for 1 yr and 1/2. It's
very tough cause i'm finishing high school and he will be starting
college when he gets back in April. So long distance can work
out, we don't always need to see each other. But it's nice too.
In June we will be moving in together and it's very serious.
Plus, next fall i.m going to be getting married. I have great
faith in us and so i deal with the long distance now because it
will all be great in the end.
YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
:) :) :) :)
This was a very well-written article! I usually don't read many
of the articles here on k-box but this one caught my attention.
Great job! :)
Jessica
I'm not in a LDR, but in an equally hard situtation. My guy is 20
and i'm 16, he is hispanic and doesn't speak much english (he is
learning) and i'm learning spanish. We love each other very much
and we try VERY hard to talk with each other, but sometimes when
that doesn't work he will sing to me in spanish (it's so cute, and
sweet), or i will sing to him (in spanish or english, my spanish
is very good for a 2nd year student). I met him at my job, at
McDonalds, he works in the grill and i do multiple jobs. Another
"bump" in our relationship is that my parents don't know about
him. I wish sooo much that they could but i know they wouldn't let
me be with him. So because of all we have against us he decided to
wait for me until i'm 18 (which is 1 yr 2months!!). i'm pretty
sure that we will make it that long altough some people don't seem
to agree, but most of our friends think we will and that we are
cute together. So i hope you all make it with your LDR's and that
i make it with my year and two-month wait!!! See ya later-Hasta la
vista!!
Thanx so much for this article. I think it is very important for
people to realize that true love can conquer anything, and mere
distance isn't enough to break up a couple who really love
eachother.
I am leaving my boyfriend in new York while I go away to
University of Tampa to start college in the fall. He will be in
his senior year while I start college. He doesn't know where he is
going yet next year, and right now it doesn't matter. We just know
that we love eachother and we will do whatever it takes to keep
our love alive. (I don't think it will be a problem though80) )

Maybe we just have better hearts. How can you not miss your loved
oned? How can you not want to imagine their smiling faces when
they open something from you?
I have been friends with this guy for almost 3 years now.A few
weeks ago we got reall close and so I asked him out,not realizing
how hard it would be for me once he went back to college 6 hours
away from me.He writes to me and sends me pictures sometimes,I
call him on saturday mornings and of course we talk through AIM
too.But it is really hard for me not being able to see him or talk
to him face-to-face.I think trust is the main thing holding us
together.This is just one challenge we are willing to fight.And
we'll fight it together!
yah, they're hard...really hard. i'm in one right now, with a guy
who lives 10 hours away from me. he came to visit over winter
break, and things really blossomed. it's hard not seeing him...i
might not even see him until the summer, and that's a while away.
but i hope that our relationship can last that long...i know that
i love him that much.
to all those in LDR's on kiwibox: stick with it, especially if you
love each other. but like she said, don't go for something you
know you don't want enough to keep the love alive for months at a
time w/o seeing each other. peace out~
My BF and I will be going to different colleges that aren't very
close, but occasional wknd trips will be feasible. We talk alot
about what it will be like to not have each other 24/7 like we do
now and we cry about how hard it's going to be. Still, we are very
faithful to each other and we both know that if we make the
effort, we will make it through college--4 years for me and 6 for
him. This was a great article! i LOVE the little tips cus they're
the same kinda goofy things i do all the time...Good job :) Good
luck w/ ur BF too ;)
because people, i know that half that shit just aint happenin in
the uk. if u americans came over here and did that then u would
get laughed out of the country
I was in an ldr once...but not cause he moved away for college. I
met him on the internet and we were together about 4 or 5 times in
person. I was head over heels in love with me, so when he broke
up with me for no reason at all I was totally heartbroken and
cried for days. He wrote me a poem once, it sucked, but I loved
recieving it...made me feel special. Good luck to everyone in
ldr's they can be hard, but they can also work. Don't give up.
I sorta know what's going to happen when 6 of my good friends are
going to graduate at the end of this year and my b/f is going to
graduate this yr too. I do not know if my b/f has made up his
mind to go to trade school or college. But, I hope its not far
cause I don't drive. I'm only 16 and my b/f just turned 18 last
week. To my girls and my one guy friend that are my good friends
I'll surely miss them when they go to Bloomsburg and Penn State.
So its just as hard or a lot worse when its ur friends and not
just ur b/f. So its someone close in general.
maybe im just weird or somethin, but i would love it if a guy
wrote me a poem. it shows he's sensitive and not afraid of
telling how he feels. i think its really sweet!!
Do you have an attitude problem or something? And why are you
assuming that the writer of this article is American? For all you
know she could be from your home. And BTW, if you dislike
Americans so much- why even hang around on a site where they
heavily populate?

Good Article, BTW. I'm in a LDR although its not that far of a
distance. About an hour and 15 minute drive. It does get hard
though since I have no car and he has to drive up here to get me.
I'm working on getting my own car though- so I'll be going down
there soon.
ummm...prose: careful writing that is NOT poetry...


if someone did half them things to me i would laugh at them. write
me a poem, you are jokin aint ya
I've done the LDR thing. I sort of do those better than having a
b/f that lives in the same town. There is this one guy I really
like named Shawn. He lives in another town. It's about a 2 1/2
hour drive. The good thing is the town he lives in is right next
to the town my dad grew up in. So when we visit relatives I'd be
able to see him. My dad said that we'd be camping there a lot
during the summer...lots of time with Shawn. *sigh* He doesn't
know I like him though, and I don't think he'd be up to the idea
for an LDR.

~May
I was in a LDR for awhile, but while we were together things were
going great. Eventually though, we broke up just b/c at the time
neither of us had cars, and parents never wanted to drive either
which way, leaving us internet and long distance phone calls to
stay in contact... we talked every night and had a very healthy
relationship. When we broke up though, it was good, b/c we
realized that we were better off as friends... no wonder it was so
easy to forget we were dating! but yeah... I find your number
four quite questionable... send him some undergarments you promise
to wear?? way to give a guy the idea that your going to have sex
with him when you visit...
Kay
Ugh...This is a beautiful article! I only wish that I saw this
when I was still going out with Tony, who moved away last summer.
Sadly, he broke up with me for someone a year younger. Plz check
my profile and my Journal(s) Thanks everyone, and good job writing
this!

~*>Maddy<*~

You know, a hundred miles, a couple states, that must be hard, but
at least it's not across seas in another country. My guy is 4000
miles away, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't walk that line
of love without some serious scuba gear. It may be a year and a
half before I see him.. and because of that I am just dying
inside, it's only been a few weeks, but sleeping alone is so hard
now. Seeing couples together kills me, because phone calls and
letters aren't that cheap, not cheap enough for me to afford right
now anyways. Email, that's it. Can a relationship withstand
everything with only email and the hope of seeing that person
again? I hope to God it can, because he is the ONLY person I love
and no one could ever replace what we have.
my bf is in the Marines and i rarely see him. we went out tonight
and this is the first time i have seen him in 10 months!!! we have
done the LD thing. and it is hard but you have to have total trust
in your SO/bf because if you dont you'll be worried all the time
wondering if hes faithful. you also need to have great
communication skills cuz if somethings bothering you you cant just
sulk you have to talk about it.
long distance is hard and you have to lean on each other and hold
your head high...maybe something better will come out of it and
maybe not. if nothing does then you know that you have made
yourself stronger by holding on. if anyone needs ta talk...go
ahead and kn me!! cuz i totally know how it feels..keep your head
up!!
Katie
shit i know how this one goes. my best friend, who i love so much
and will love him forever lives in Cali. We arent going out, but
we might as well be. its hard as hell but you cant help who you
fall in love with.
LDR's are hard but worth it I think. One of my best friends lives
in Germany (we decided not to date because I don't know when I'll
get to see him again, and we didn't want that pressure) but it's
still hard to keep up with whats going on in each others lives.
There is also a guy that I am getting to know that is in the USCG
and is stationed in Maine, so I won't get to see him until
September. Its going to be interesting.
Jennifer
We've known eachother less than a month (pretty scary I know) were
not really official, but he told me something really special and I
chickened out. I meant it, but there was just alot of confusion as
to is he was serious, and that someone really didn't say what I
think they said.
I guess my little part is that I like Ottawaish, and he lives
Torontoish, so it's about 6 hours away (he's sure it's only 3) but
ya, we are in a rough patch, now that I couldn't just say it. I
meant it, but I couldn't, and it kills me! We'll see how it all
goes down!
GREAT ARTICLE, this is by far my fav!
my first little experience with an LDR lasted 7 months, and that
was with a guy 150 miles away; the one i'm in now is with a guy
1000 miles away, from ME to NC. he's in the military, and
therefore can only come up when they allow him to, which is about
twice a year... today, there is the possibility of him getting
shipped out to somolia or the phillipines.. im worried about him;
if something happens to him, i dont know what i'd do... but
anyways, for my bday/valentines day (they're 17 days apart), he
said he'll be sending me a box of stuff.. it'll include pictures,
my journal he's been writing in, and little candy heart things..
cant wait to get it!
I am going out with this guy named Chris for 6 months this Monday.
He lives in Ohio & I live in Kentucky, it's about a 6 hour drive
between us. I have known him for 3 years & we really love each
other. We write each other all the time & we talk on the phone
every now & then. We never have much time to talk because of work
& school. It's really hard to get through LDR's. But we plan on
getting married July 21st 2003. I haven't seen him for 3 weeks & I
probably wont see him for a month or two. IT's really hard to deal
with & it seems like no one understands. Everyone has been talking
about V-Day & what they're going to get for there other. This
makes me sad because my b-day is the day after v-day & I probably
wont get to spend it with Chris. It's going to be really sad.
Thanks for this article, it helped me a lot.

Later Dayz,
Heather note me.

It's a great article and it's all true. It really sucks though,
with the fact of having a LDR. My dear wonderful ex-boyfriend
broke up with me, but we only live life about an hour away from
eachother. So I guess you can't say LDR. But hey life sucks, he
broke up with me. Try and work things out and always be willing
to go through the relationship.
Hey well, I gtg. Lata.

i live in Canada and my guy lives in Wisconsin.. we been together
for a year and 4months :D its been the best year and 4months of my
life.. i love him sooooo much.. but anyhow, i liked this article
;)

lil Coyote Nikki

Knote me!!
LDM stands for Long Distance Marriage. And I'm in one. LDP stands
for Long Distance Parenthood. And my husband is in one. You see,
we can't afford medical health in the USA, so I came back to
Canada to have our son. Winters are cold and babies healths are
frail. Here in Canada I can have my son taken care of for free if
he gets sick. I will be moving back to the States this summer
only. I'll see my husband once a month until then. It's tougher
than a College relationship: there is a little baby involved...
It's true though, there are ways to get through the distance and
the main one is patience, not just love, patience! And don't spend
your time wondering if your loved one is cheating on you, that's
when things start to go wrong!

kn me if you need tips on how to survive!

annie
Ahhh! Girl in LDR #39862 right here!!! ME ME ME!! Well, I'm in one
of those... situations. Nothing's wrong. Everything's wonderful
though. We've known eachother for almost 6 months now... and had
an LDR for about...5? hmm, I'll do the math later. Anyways. I love
e-mail and AIM. He's always e-mailing me as much as he can, and
I've got him under Alert for when he gets on ... *sighs* ;o) But,
it's kinda stuck. His e-mails are shorter... and our convos...
they're just like between friends. 'ecpt today on the phone *he
calls too, about everyday* we talked about the future you know...
*what if we end p together and have kids...and things* one of
those... blah, this is long. Sorry. But I loved the sticle, maybe
I should have him read it... Goch girls, V-day's comin up...
hoo-ray...

love yas
Cole
im kinda in one....my best friend's 18 year old nephew lives in NC
and i live in MD. He came up last year to visit and we met. So
he started writing me. He came up this past monday and he got me
a rose!! and then tuesday he got me a dog stuffed animal! He's
sooo sweet. He's leaving for navy in a couple weeks and might get
stationed in Norfolk. Its hard living far away...
Theres this guy who I'm really good friends with that lives in a
totally different town about an hour away. And even though we're
not going out I still love him with all of my heart, and we talk
on the phone about once a month and we write each other. And even
though we're far apart it seems as if we're closer than ever. I do
miss him, but theres nothing I can do about it and I'm just gonna
have to wait till he gets back!
I'm a Junior in high school and me and my boyfriend have been
together since December 31, 2001. Not long at all, but he's a
freshmen in college and he's leaving for school on sunday so I
won't see him too much. We're going to try to make it work, but I
think it's going to be hard. I go without seeing him for one day
and I miss him, how am I going to go weeks at a time? But it's
worth it because I care about him a lot...
your article was cool. im in a LDR and i have been for 13months. i
was just sitting here thinking WHY DO I BOTHER and then i realised
we love eachother =0) and your article gave me some ideas too
hehe! thanx alot very cool. ~P~
nice article. my boyfriend is in 11th grade, im in 10th. next
year, he'll be a senior...im dreading the day that he has to
leave! i dunno how i'd handle it. these ideas are REALLY cute
though. and i will NOT let a long distance relationship mess up
ours. i love him so much!!! and he loves me too. he's reassured me
SOO much that he'll never leave me. it makes me feel good. we've
been going out for almost 1 year and 5 months now and i want to
still be with him for another...100 :-P hehe! nice article! i
enjoyed it!
-Jillian
i thought this article wuz good. i nevr had a long distance
relationship but i kno sum1 who has and its tough. i wudnt want 2
have a LDR, but thats just how i feel. =)
nice article, but god is it rough being in a LDR. i know what you
mean when you said about the rough times and not knowing. I am in
one of those now. we have been together for 5 months, and the deep
conversations are getting slimmer, how do i get those back, and
reasure him we can get through it, we only have to wait another
5-6 months to be together forever, but how do i reasure him it
will be ok, and find out what he is really thinking? Sorry this is
really long, but thank you

kn me for any answers or advice i could get
i really liked this and i totally agree w/ it and these ideas r
really good--i like the whole send him a package of fave stuff and
stuff
I'm in a long distance relationship. It sucks not being able to
spend all the time I want with him, but there's not much we can
do. But I wouldn't trade what we have for anything.

Your list was really cute! And it's true.

Good article!

Kristine
Well my guy is in TX!! which sux. maybe i will be able to make it
w/o him... i hope so. 9 months is a long time