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In This Issue » Life & Love » Turn Offs in Relationships

Turn Offs in Relationships

Deal breakers and minor misdemeanors

Written by: Alex K. – Posted: Tue Nov 22nd, 2005
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Every person has certain things that turn him or her off when it comes to dating. They can range from pet peeves; like nail-biters, to bigger things; like lying or stealing. I have dated my fair share of guys, even some who had fell into some of my 'turn off' categories. None of those guys have stuck around, so perhaps you should always be aware of what turns you off, and make sure any potential partner doesn't possess any of these qualities.

Deal Breakers

Lying: You should never put up with a partner who constantly lies to you; it's very disrespectful. Make sure you tell your partner you'd be less angry if they came out and told you things, rather than lying and you finding out later.

Cheating: If a guy has a reputation for cheating, think twice before you date him yourself! Trust is very important in a relationship. If he does it once, chances are likely that he'll do it again.

Smoking: Who wants to kiss an ashtray? Also, cigarettes can kill, and surely you would rather date someone alive and healthy. Bear in mind the problems of second-hand smoke, too.

Acting stupid: Smart people who act silly around their friends can be a real turn-off. It's not cool for your partner to break the law just for fun. There is a point when things stop being funny and just become childish.

Hiding things: This is somewhat similar to lying and cheating, but just to emphasize that there should be trust in a relationship. If your partner has a problem, you should be able to talk about it.
View Comments
i smoke. my boyfriend smokes. my friends smoke. my dad smokes. it's not a deal breaker for me
smokings gross and all, but my best friend smokes, my bf smokes, both like freakn chimneys, and i just have to accept it. doesnt mean i have to be around it, but im used to it i guess.
is smoking really an issue...get over it...Im sure you all have nasty habits that noone knows about that may be a total turn off..im a smoker so it dont bother me
the only thing you can do is be honest with him....he may not understand but he'll be alright....either that just tell him you had plans when he shows up.....if you two are friends then i wouldnt be mean or too honest but it sounds like you dont want him around so no sense in beating around the bush....tell him
another thing that is a turn off in a realationship if the person you are with constantly talks about other women and compares your relationship to the relationship of others if he respects you to the fullest then its not going to matter about what other people are doing
Smoking is a major deal breaker for me. So is drug use. Drinking is a deal breaker for me that isn't for most people (but then, I don't drink even though I'll be old enough in 6 days, so I suppose that's fair).

Another issue for me is violence. Any guy who gets physical with me is gone, but I find it unacceptable for guys to be violent with other people too.
Ok, I am kind of against a lot of the ones on the second page.

Calling- Sometimes something comes up that makes you unable to call, or you can forget... not anything to throw a fit over.

Not telling their friends- This is something that I don't understand at all. Just because I'm dating someone, it doesn't mean I should have to make an anoucement over it. I never tell my friends if I'm dating someone or not, frankly it's none of their business. As long as they aren't hitting on their friends it's just fine with me if they don't say anything.

I don't know, but I think that those are kind of questionable reasons to complain.

One that should have been up there is smelling. That's a major turn off for a lot of people.
let see there are lots of stuff you shouldn't d owehen you are dating but most of all is cheating if you want to screw around have an open-realtionship
I cannot stand a guy that stinks. My ex for example, he still comes around but I don't want to be mean and tell him to buz off, does any1 know what to do :(
and apparently, that italics code didn't work! i've myspace'd too long
because for many people, it <i>is</i> a deal breaker. but, i also think just because someone smokes you shouldn't date them-- when my boyfriend and i started dating, i smoked and he didn't, but when i decided to quit, it was so much easier because he didn't smoke!
well i think it was good because it was a great because becase someone like me can relate to all of them
actually i'd kind of prefer if my guy is a smoker... you may think thats crazy but i smoke too... (definantly not a deal breaker...) Meh i dont think this was a very good article...
Being fifteen, my boyfriend doesn't have a major problem with facial hair yet, but I absolutely can't stand it. Good on some people... most people it's a turn off. He's so sweet though, he always shaves right before I come over so that he's nice and smooth ^_^
I don't think smoking should have been listed as a deal breaker either.
I don't think smoking should have been put in here. It was a dealbreaker for me, but I don't think it is for most people. I just have extremely severe asthma.

Good article overall though!
i don't see smoking as a deal-breaker. sure, it's not healthy & i prefer my fiancé didn't do it... but i love him & he is an adult who is capable of making his own decisions.