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In This Issue » Life & Love » Monkey See, Lover Do

Monkey See, Lover Do

Copycat relationships

Written by: Jenna L., Assocaite Editor – Posted: Mon Jan 1st, 2007

Author

spr_hot_an
gel7

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Best friends share everything--secrets, clothes and sometimes even period arrivals. But besides menstrual patterns, it is not uncommon to find similar relationship patterns in friends, as well. Why does that happen, though? Is it pure coincidence, or a popular copy-cat situation?

This topic is portrayed on television and in movies a lot. In one episode of Friends, for example, Rachel wanted to hook up with Ross after Monica announced her engagement. Her best friend was in a good, strong relationship and she wanted the same thing. A similar situation was at hand a few seasons earlier, which is kind of how Chandler and Monica first got together.

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doodlebug

Friend Note

hm. i'm sure this happens in some groups of friends...but this
hasn't really happened ever wit me and my friends. i've been with
the same guy for seven years and i have lots of single friends.
the only thing close to this that i can relate to is about three
years ago, my boyfriend and i went through a really rough time and
we were broken up for a bit...about a year later, my best friend
went through an eerily similar situation with her boyfriend that
she'd been with about two years. only difference is, my boyfriend
and i worked everything out and we got back together and her and
her boyfriend never worked it out and aren't together anymore.

but before i had ever even had a boyfriend, my best friend always
had a boyfriend. it never really made me want to go out and find
someone though. i guess i kind of lived vicariously through
her...i always found her boy adventures to be fascinating...just
not something i was ready to experience on my own.

but i just think the whole idea is a little creepy...and frankly,
unhealthy.

Posted 01/27/07

juuchan18

Friend Note

This is just sad.

Posted 01/22/07

Ak_Chick

Friend Note

But see, the reason Monica slept with Chandler was because Ross
got married and she wanted the comfort of a man, as if she were in
a relationship. I love Friends.

Posted 01/21/07

SecretSunr
ise

Friend Note

I've never been in this situation either, and kind of feel that if
you can't relate with your friends and your gonna get all mad cuz
you dont feel you connect with them anymore just becuz of a
boyfriend, get a friend that can connect with you better.
And no, nobody can think for themselves anymore. Why do you think
everybody follows trends?
[you got some info wrong: monica didnt get together with chandler
becuz of someone else being in a relationship - she did it becuz
she wsa UPSET and HURT, and chandler was there to pick her up
while she was down. ]

Posted 01/20/07

tyshan

Friend Note

I have never been in this situation. Majority of my friends have
been in relationships and I havent. In fact I am the only person
that hasnt dated anyone. Well except for one other friend, but we
dont do copycats. That is stupid and childish. I mean people need
to get out of everyone elses Kool-aid and focus on their own
situation. I am sure people do this whole copy cat thing but I
dont see why. I mean can't anyone think for themselves?

Posted 01/19/07

Search_For
_Self

Friend Note

I see this happen. It's pretty cool that you picked up on it. I
think sometimes we make the wrong decisions for ourselves this
way.

Posted 01/14/07

angel_eyes
1214

Friend Note

my frends are like so random
one of my frendz has a bf but she would mess around with anyone
kute
my other frend has a long time bf but shes kinda the same but not
as extreme
lol
but im not lyk that tho

Posted 01/14/07

nichole222
2

Friend Note

julietta1311
the only reason why he did that to you was because somewhere
between coming home and the ski trip he got distracted by
something beautiful that can make him have mixed messages going
threw his mind

Posted 01/13/07

nichole222
2

Friend Note

I think that your a very intuitive person

Posted 01/13/07

untamed_do
ll

Friend Note

I've noticed this trend within my family. My cousin and I are very
close, we both dated Marines, we both had the same issues with the
said Marines, and we both ended things at the same time. Then we
both found someone knew the same month and find when all hell
breaks loose for one- it's loose for the other.

However, with my friends at college- the ones I see on a daily
basis I've noticed that it seems when one of us is in a
relationship, the other isn't. As soon as that girl gets into a
relationship, the prior girls relationship ends. It's interesting.

Posted 01/11/07

welsh_drag
on

Friend Note

I am part of a really close group of 4 friends, out of the 4 of us
I am the only one who is single...the other 3 are all in long term
relationships.

It is difficult being the only one that is single, because they
only ever want to do coupley things, and conversations often
revolve around their other halves. Although we have great
relationships it can still be difficult and can make me feel very
lonely.

I don't think that we copy our friends as such when it comes to
relationships, but relationships do change the dynamics of
friendships, and it is only natural that they should have some
influence on you.

Posted 01/11/07

misty_bear

Friend Note

When my friends had boyfriends and I didn't I would analyse their
relationships and see that the guy always made them change and for
the worse!I would never want a relationship like thiers! And what
made us so unique as a group was that we were so different! And
our differences would let us grow off of eachother.

Posted 01/10/07

Julietta13
11

Friend Note

that reminded me of what happened to me 2 years ago... my ex
boyfriend went on vacation with his family and while he was gone,
one of his closest friends (or maybe his bes friend at the time,
im not sure) broke up with the girl he was kinda seeing, who was
also my friend. then a week later, my ex bf came back and broke up
with me because "things are not going anywhere" the day he got
back.

Posted 01/09/07

gemmaew

Friend Note

I can def see what ur describing in some of the situations ive
been in, but it always been mild and never deliberate. I think
what causes it is if someone gets a bf they will talk bout it alot
within the group of friends, and everyone sees what the good
points are for being with someone. so everyone wants a
relationship. then if someone breaks up with their bf everyone
realises how great it is being single. of course im generalising,
but i can see how someone tellng you how great it is to have a bf,
and all u see is your friend happy, u'll probly want it too. Not
because u want to copy, just because u want some of that happiness
too!

Posted 01/09/07

polisher33

Friend Note

It's an interesting theory. I've never seen it happen myself
though, or at least not that I'm aware of. But what you said is
true. If all of your friends are single, you don't think as much
about how much you want to be with someone. But if all of your
friends are in a relationship, suddenly you might feel left out
and very lonely...so it can be tempting to enter a relationship
just because your friends are in one.

Posted 01/09/07

nikki000

Friend Note

i'm not sure if i believe everything thats in this article, but it
does remind me of a situation with one of my friends... i had my
first kiss, and some time after that, she had hers. i got into a
relationship with that guy that i kissed, and i knew she wanted a
relationship as well (which was apparent at parties...she began to
talk to more guys).

its very weird, because a few months after i rounded 2nd base (in
sexual terms), she went that far with someone as well, and this
continued until we both had lost our virginity. but i think
that's all coincidence, although it is true that if i were single,
she probably wouldn't want someone as much as she does.

Posted 01/09/07

kiss05

Friend Note

I've always been single while my friends had a bf. No, true love
in hs, please? Not likely, not w out a break up or break of some
kind. I thought I had it, never dated him, I guess I was wrong.

Posted 01/08/07

Lethal_mer
cy

Friend Note

Maybe I'm weird but it's definately not like this with my group of
friends. We're all in seperate relationship situations, while
sometimes it get's to be a problem when we want to do something
together we don't go out and all do the same thing so we can go do
something together...When we were younger we might have copied
each other a little bit but that was mainly because it was just a
childhood competition to see who could be "boyfriend girlfriend"
longer than the others and what not. But all that ended after we
got to high school... So personally I can't relate to it at all.
And it kind of seems a little weird to me for lack of a better
word.

Posted 01/08/07

WunLuv21

Friend Note

sume coping is wrong and others are harmless, this situation is in
the miid.

Posted 01/08/07

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Copycat relationships

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