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In This Issue » Life & Love » Flirting While in a Relationship

Flirting While in a Relationship

Big deal or harmless fun?

Written by: Jenna L., Assocaite Editor – Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007

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spr_hot_an
gel7

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According to www.dictionary.com, to flirt is to "act amorously without serious intentions." However, when the word flirting is entered, "to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures" appears on the screen. It was somewhat surprising to find such a difference of definition in these two words--One implies harmless fun, and the other suggests sexual pursuit.

After deciding what it means to flirt, one must now decide whether or not it's okay to do it with other people while in a relationship. Does it honestly matter? This article will take a glance at each side of flirting while in a relationship. Read through and decide what you agree with.

Flirting is just flirting. It is not cheating and it is no big deal.
19% of kiwiboxers polled agree with this statement.

As a form of communication, everybody flirts to some extent. Depending on one's definition of flirting, it can sometimes just mean being friendly. There are times when people flirt and don't mean anything by it. Especially in high school, it is not uncommon to spot someone flirting with another person. Flirting is not making out, and it is not having sex--therefore, it is not cheating. So, what is the big deal if you feel like flirting? Having a boy/girlfriend shouldn't stop you from playful interaction.

Flirting while in a relationship is a huge deal! You should never purposely lead someone else on like that!
41% of kiwiboxers polled agree with this statement.

It is never right to flirt with someone else if you're already dating someone! Just because it doesn't go past just talking doesn't mean you aren't leading the other person on. And if that other person you're having fun with isn't aware that you're taken, they might take it further than you'd like. After you've already flirted with someone, there is no easy way to let them know you're already with another guy/girl. Once they find out, it will create an awkward situation. Wouldn't it be upsetting if you saw your s/o acting like he or she liked someone else? And why wouldn't you want to just flirt with your own boy/girlfriend? This is just not a good idea.

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hails14

Friend Note

Well it kinda depends on what your bf/gf think is flirting.
Seriously talking with a friend or even laughing isnt bad. You can
have opposite sex friends, just dont take it too far.

Posted 07/09/07

nickybabe2
9

Friend Note

i really dont care if my boyfriend flirts with other girls, i hate
how i feel when i get jealous, so i just avoid being jealous, as
long as i know im the one he's coming home to at the end of the
day then im content

jealousy cant exist in a relationship because that just leads to
arguing if you dont trust your bf/gf then the relationship wont
work

Posted 07/03/07

SnowFlake8
7

Friend Note

i definitely agree with JoneSoda and crazylesh!
I get irritated when girls flirt with my boyfriend--even when it
is harmless, i feel disrespected.

Posted 07/02/07

BulletFMV

Friend Note

..i flirt as a second nature..
my bf asked me out knowing this.

Posted 07/01/07

crazylesh

Friend Note

I 100% agree with JonesSoda! If you wouldn't flirt w/ somebody
while your s/o other is around you shouldn't do it behind their
back. Obviously if you're doing it behind their back it's WRONG
period.

Posted 06/29/07

scottsfan

Friend Note

i always flirt any guy i date will have to deal or leave

Posted 06/28/07

cherrygirl
72

Friend Note

I totally respect my boyfriend and if he was flirting with another
girl, then i would be pissed. So doesnt that mean if I flirted
with another guy. He would be pissed even more. Hell yah he would.
So I just dont do it.

Posted 06/28/07

doodlebug

Friend Note

my boyfriend is EXTREMELY flirtatious...and when i was younger and
stupider it really bothered me. but then i realized that flirting
was as far as he ever went...and then i discovered that flirting
is a lot of fun.

so we've both agreed that flirting isn't a big deal, we even talk
about the people we flirt with and it's all in good fun.

however, we don't normally openly flirt with others in front of
each other...that's just weird.

i think some people, after they've been in a relationship for a
long time...no matter how much they dearly love the other
person...they can start to feel 'bored', for lack of a better
word. so flirting is a harmless way to vent boredom without
actually physically cheating.

the only problem i have with flirting is when it's continuous and
the person you're flirting with has no idea that you're in a
relationship and nothing else can happen. that's blatanly leading
them on and let's face it...that's just mean.

Posted 06/28/07

JonesSoda

Friend Note

In my opinion, CHEATING is anything that you would never do with
your partner right there, watching you, reading what you write,
hearing you, etc. So if flirting is going on like this, it's
cheating.

Posted 06/28/07

fantabulou
s_xd

Friend Note

I admit, i am the jealous type so if my boyfriend were to flirt
with another girl I would make a big deal about it. But that's
just my personality.

I also do believe that flirting can be really natural and
unintentional. But as far as me and my bf's flirting status goes,
we don't do it intentionally because we love each other. There's
no need. I mean if you really care about them why do u need to do
things like set up what's acceptable and what isn't?

Just don't do it. And if it's one of those natural
i-didn't-realize-I-was-doing-it things, then your significant
other should know, and should trust you.

Posted 06/28/07

likeDisast
er

Friend Note

"if someone flirts u really think they always think about YOU?"

Do you mean to say that my boyfriend DOESN'T have me on his mind
24/7?!

HOLY SHIT.

Posted 06/28/07

Lethal_mer
cy

Friend Note

People always accuse me of flirting with someone, when most of the
time I'm just being nice. Although, I do flirt a lot, I know that,
but I just do it for harmless fun. And it's kind of implied that I
do, like I flirt with one of my guy friends everytime I see him
just because it's fun.

Another thing is, it seems like everytime I'm being nice to a guy
that's a little older than I am, I'm supposidly flirting with
them. Because younger girls aren't allowed to laugh at a older
guy's jokes or whatnot.... I had about 10 guys tell me that after
I was joking around with a guy that's like 9 years older than me.

I figure what the hey, they can think whatever they like, but as
long as I'm not pursuing it any further than harmless flirting.
It's not going anywhere what so ever.

Posted 06/27/07

Roswellisc
ool

Friend Note

I think most of the time guys confuse girls being friendly with
flirting. I know that people accuse me of flirting all the time
just because I laugh and joke with some guys. If that's flirting,
then I don't know how I'm supposed to act! I think its ridiculous.

Posted 06/26/07

Pink_Trash

Friend Note

flirting caused HUGE problems in my last relationship.

i'm of the belief that if you're with someone, there is no need to
flirt with anyone else, and to do so is to disrespect your
partner. he knew i felt that way, and did it anyway. needless to
say, we're not together anymore.

like morgan said, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, you
shouldn't do it at all.

Posted 06/26/07

Reach

Friend Note

I flirt unintentionally all the time. My bf hates it, but I don't
know what I'm doing because I'm just really super-friendly to
everyone, male or female.

I personally don't care if my bf flirts with another girl, if he
really wanted her then I know that he'd break up with me instead
of cheating.

Posted 06/26/07

Morgan_182
1

Friend Note

I completely agree with the statement that if you wouldn't do it
in FRONT of your boyfriend, you shouldn't do it.

Posted 06/26/07

likeDisast
er

Friend Note

I'm in the third group. My boyfriend was labeled "most
flirtatious" in his graduating class, and it's caused pretty much
all of his relationship problems in the past. However, I know from
first hand experience that it's just that- flirting. When we were
friends we talked almost every day, we "flirted" as you would call
it, but it never went past verbal flirting. Which is how I know I
can trust him now, because of all the times he could have made a
move on me- he never did.

Maybe we're just rare birds. Iunno. But we've discussed it between
us and it's nothing we see a need to change. He's actually told me
that it makes him want to love me MORE that I'm not hounding him
about flirting with people, because all of his past girlfriends
have nagged at him about it and it made him doubt them when they
said "I trust you."

And really, I think that if you can't trust your partner not to
cheat on you (provided they didn't do anything to make you
distrust them in the first place) then maybe you should think
twice about being with them.. because your relationship is going
to be tested a lot harder in the future.

Posted 06/26/07

carolina_g
irl08

Friend Note

I believe if your in a relationship with someone ther isnt a need
to flirt with others. Flirting can be innocent but the majority of
the time it brings stress to a relationship and can lead to
something that never was ment to happen or should have
happened....

Posted 06/25/07

elainerach

Friend Note

I flirt at work. Some of the guys want to take it further, but
since I'm taken, it's "no way" for them. And I make sure they
know that. So it's harmless in this case.

Posted 06/25/07

Asiyah

Friend Note

Why would you feel a need to flirt if you're with someone you
like? Would you like if your boyfriend flirted with some other
girl? It's wrong to do something behind their back that you
wouldn't do in front of them-

And besides, if you feel the need to flirt it seems you're bored
with your present relationship-so why are you still in it?

Posted 06/25/07

babylove_6
0s

Friend Note

You should never flirt while in a relationship because if you
don't mean anything by it it usually leads them on. I also think
that more often than people like to admit they flirt even when
they're taken because they actually are interested anyway.

Posted 06/25/07

ema300

Friend Note

flirting with someone can mislead them, especially if youre in a
relationship w/ someone else.

Posted 06/25/07

Morgan_182
1

Friend Note

Although, I do think this is all a matter of opinion... I don't
think one should put themselves in position to be unfaithful to
their partner.. I am with the second group to where you should
never flirt. Not only is it leading someone on.. but any form of
intimacy with someone other than your boyfriend is wrong.. and it
can lead to more.

Posted 06/25/07

Morgan_182
1

Friend Note

Although.. I will admit that I have pretty much ZERO tolerance
when I'm in a relationship.. especially now that I'm married. I
know a lot of girls are a lot more tolerant.

Posted 06/25/07

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Flirting While in a Relationship

Big deal or harmless fun?

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