I haven't been doing so well at the fail better part.

I haven't even been trying.

It's funny how after being a failure for long enough, I just started accepting it as my lot in life.

Such poor choices
such poor action
thoroughly rubbish.

I don't feel that typing of any sort will resolve this.

But that's just it

when you've fallen off the horse
and you wait for, Oh I don't know, a year or two

it's kind of impossible to get back up.

The horse has continued onward
looking for their own way
because they're smart enough to know it's not the end.

Why can't I be that smart?

I know dwelling on these shortcomings won't change anything either.

I was told I lost my inspiration. I wanted everyone to go on and stop caring, but for some reason they keep checking in and offering their time & ears in listening or eyes in reading the psalm of the hopeless


Brrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggttttttf.

I need to coordinate a full on restart super jump blitzkreig reinvention of myself.

I'm scared that I've exhausted my resources.
I don't know where to begin.

I guess I'll write again when I feel like it
even though I should set a goal and work toward it and then update

but that might work and be anti-self-sabotaging which we just can't have.