firestone88 , 24

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Posted: 5:36:55 PM

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Darcarailius, dustysgurl4eva

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I lost my job. I don't know. I'm half glad to be out of that hell hole and kinda worried about finances. I'm glad that I'm not around those ass-kissing cut-throat bitches who will sell their first born to save their own ass.

At the moment, I applied to like seven places and haven't got a call back yet. And listed more stuff on either auction sites or Craigslist. Adam is paying for bills and food. He'll be laid off in the fall and won't be making what he is now, so I'm nervous all around.


I saw on the news that a minister from my mom's home town was killed & my aunt was really close to her. I didn't know her at all until the news, but I still feel empathic.

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Darcarailius

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Every now and then I'm in blind mode. Like everyday is the exact same thing, repeative. Hell, most of my rant is best preached by Trent Reznor / Nine Inch Nail's "Everyday is Exactly the Same" song.

That is, until it rains. Why? Because it's like someone tapping you on the shoulder to look up or to take notice of what's going on else where. Today, I noticed landmarks I never seen before on the bus, where as normal days I wouldn't see it because I would be reading or something else.

I love the actual feeling when it rains, but not when my hair is drenched {I run like a cat to shelter when it pours}.
I love how rain can chase away a crowd {I hate crowds}.
I love how the sky looks when it's grey and cloudy before and after it rains.
I love when it rains hard then stops and continues again.
I love rainbows after it rains, still have hopes for the pot of gold :-p.
I love the sounds of rain hitting the window or roof.
I love watching water dripplets slide off the window or ripples in puddles.


I hate the smell and temperature after the 'act' because it's humid as hell and smells like piss + mosquito free for all {Also, a reason why I wear long sleeves during the summer}.

In Hawaii, it rains like every 20 mins lol. Well, that's probably a lie but the point is that it's frequent. I liked it anyway. At my sister's house, I would look out or sit out on the patio just to watch it. Other places I lived at that glimmer effect but not as frequent as Hawaii.


At the moment, I really like the Lizzy Borden song "Under Your Skin". Even though it's about self mutilation, I like the melody and lyrics anyway.

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Darcarailius, kareemsbaby

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happy cinco de mayo :D

Listening to: Informatik


I like Chanel #5 but today I'm wearing Mademoiselle. So yummy :D.


Anyways.. Damn!! I've been gone a month?!?!? Well, things that changed -ponders-.. I turned twenty one on the 11th. Prior to that, I requested like 3 days {with the exception of Easter} off as a mini- vacation. We didn't do much just errands and shopping, so it didn't feel like my birthday. Eventually I want to go out dancing/clubbing. But most shows I want to go are ironically gay clubs {they have goth nights} and Adam won't step a foot near. -rolls eyes-


Easter, we went to his parent's house again. They went to another relatives and Adam had Mike over {one of his close friend / music nerd} and they had a 'jam' with 2 of his guitars and amps upstairs. They probably would have did that our apartment, but it's too small and cluttered. Plus we have neighbors, a semi-bitchy neighbor below.


Umm.. the last 2 weeks I was internet-less because I had tons of viruses. It was so bad that I couldn't save pictures or mp3s. Adam eventually had to reload windows and start over. Thankfully most of the irreplaceable ones I had saved in myspace/photobucket {meeting people}.


With that said, I caught up with random tv shows: {I never stick to one series, I like to mix it up.}'What Not to Wear', 'Dancing with the Stars', 'John and Kate Plus Eight', some shows on the History channel and other stuff. And obviously reading too :D.


I won another kiwi journal contest last month. It was for the Role Models dvd and shirt. I gave Adam the shirt and we watched it together. He kept saying that it was going to be stupid but he was laughing as much as me! -rolls eyes- Men. lol.


Lately, I've been second guessing work. I know I know, again. But once in a while I have a moment and go "Why the hell are you here? You're too smart and a good worker, they don't deserve you here." Well, I don't want to work a crappy minimum wage job for the rest of my life but the thought of college scares the begeeus out of me. Well, mainly the math and science part. In high school I never really got Algerbra or Geometry, luckily I went to night school for it. But, I guess I'm being human "to be afraid of the unknown".


Anyways.. That's enough ranting today.


Ta-ta
-waves-