fxck_me , 24

i was talking to bob yesterday and i told me that i dont make him feel loved anymore =/ i felt really bad about that. i have to be honest here and say that i havnt really been trying. i've been so wrapped up in my own problems that i kinda didnt really give a shit about how anyone else was feeling. he also said that i talk about rich as if im talking about him. well, thats just shitty. idk. i talk to rich a hell of a lot more than i talk to bob, which is why i talk about him more. but eh. i guess i should make an effort. im going to work on being loving now :)

anyway, im going to talk about something else now :) i have that interview at 10.30 this morning. im excited and nervous. im more nervous that i'll get lost and be late, than if i'll get the job or not. haha. my passion is animals, so i feel like i pretty much have every chance in the world to get this job. im not worried about that at all, although, maybe i should be. i am, however, worried about my bank account. i had an overdraft fee and now im in the hole 25.64. i got a notice the other day stating that after 4 days they're going to start taking 7 dollars everyday until i have a positive balance.

im a little tiny bit worried about rich....he left me a few messages on msn because i was out in the livingroom watching a movie. im kinda irratated that i missed him, although he told me not to be haha. hes just, yah. hes at a point where i would feel i should worry a little bit. i dont like when hes sad. it makes me sad. he deserves to be happy. im also VERY curious to know whats on his mind. he said he didnt want to tell me cause i didnt need to suffer through whats bothering him, but honestly, i'd like to know. but eh. i'll ask him if he gets on, and if he doesnt tell me, then he doesnt tell me. i wont stress it too much....i dont think haha.

anyway! im going to go now! have a good day!

so my laptop works now. idk how that happened. bryan was screwing around with it while i was on my moms computer and after a while he just kinda gave up and put it back together. then like an hour later my brother asks if my monitor is working again and i told him no that i was on moms computer and he goes 'no look' and sure enough, my monitor was working. which was really weird. haha.

anyway. i have my interview tomorrow. im really nervous. im afraid i'll be late or get lost or something. ew....jason just sent me a text.

i dont think its even possible to be more in love with someone right now, and its absolutely sickening haha




just a few old pictures i dug up of rich, me, and my babies

hahaha when he dyed his hair blond like a week before coming to see me. he hadnt told me about it. he just got on cam and had blond hair. his facial expression is exactly what mine was haha


one of my favorite pictures of him, although it looks almost nothing like him


i love this beanie


the first day i got Toste :)


my hair was so long :( i miss it


haha i love this picture. its goofy


tis Ben :)

yesterday really sucked ass. not only did i accidently delete my journal and erase a LOT of great memories, i discovered a bumb on Ben. could be nothing, could be everything. im afraid its a tumor and i'll have to put him down :(

then my laptop screen stopped working >_< Bryan is going to take it to work and get that fixed for me. whoot whoot. then....then rich got irratated with me, but it was my own fault. bleh.

but hey, bob called and all and that was nice.

i ended up calling rich last night cause i was bored and we talked about shit. like we usually do. about toast and weird things like that.

OOHH i got an interview at Planet Pooch! its a doggy daycare in South San Fransisco. its kinda far, but hey, im fine with that. im just happy i got an interview. i hope they hire me.

anyway! im going to go buh bye now! have a good day everyone.

so shit. i had a layout journal and i went to delete that one and i accidently deleted the main one >_< all those memories are GONE. damn.

im so mad. i just deleted some really good memories. today is not going well for me!!!!