hiddentruths , 21

[bgcolor=deep pink][bgcolor=pink]
[bgcolor=deep pink][font=wingdings][color=white]nnnnnnnnnnnnn
[font=wingdings][color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]o[color=white]o[color=pink]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo
[font=impact][color=white]entry no. 1;; && truth be told i miss you, && truth be told i'm lying...[/font]

[font=wingdings][color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]o[color=white]o[color=pink]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo
[font=wingdings][color=white]nnnnnnnnnnnnn[/font]
[bgcolor=pink]


hey, so i know this site quite well and i don't know why i'm here. the thought of writing in this site again just occurred to me after i got discharged from bct. there are so many girls in this site that honestly try to tell people how to live their lives and i don't like them that much, basically if you want to get along with me don't offer your opinion about something that i say or that is going on unless i ask for it.

there was a guy in my life that a lot of girls thought that i should just forget about. personally i agree with them right now, but i think i know why i liked him so much. i guess i wanted him so much because he was a challenge, hard to figure out, at one point he was absolutely amazing and then gradually started treating me like shit. we stopped talking for a couple of months, from april to june 6th, and he eventually called me back. he told me that he wanted to apologize for being such a jackass, i forgave him because i guess i honestly did still have feelings for him. then i gave him the sentiment that i wrote for him in my senior year book, he told me that he missed how things used to be and if i thought that things could ever be the same again to just let him know. then i saw him announce a new girlfriend, he made up different stories about other girls, so she might not really even exist. honestly i don't care much anymore, whatever... it personally doesn't phase me in any way, shape or form.

recently i had my first big failure, i got discharged from the army. it was for medical reasons, i have aspergers syndrome and my parents had never really raised me to be independent. there were also other factors, such as i need to learn time management and get in better physical shape. i made quite a bit of progress, but probably not quite enough. i have the option to reenlist again, that will be from 6 months to a year, which i definitely plan on doing. my drill sergeant, drill sergeant grijalva, thought that i could've done it but it would've taken me too long. I'm just going to say that basically it was the wrong time for me to reenlist, and i have to work myself up to being able to handle the full bct. bct sucks, it's about 10 weeks of torture, but eh... the end result is worth it. but it made me realize that honestly i like being challenged, that was the reason why i was so into whats his face and that there are other things to challenge me other than guys that are always going to wind up stabbing me in the back. there was also this cute guy there named zachary, no i don't have his number, which probably helped, he was my age and really chill, seemed cool... but no fraternizing. i doubt that i had a chance with him anyway, because he told me that i looked like his sister on my civilian id, hahaha... yeah.

i gained a lot of skills that taught me to be independent though, which is always a good thing. i met a lot of awesome new friends too, that i definitely plan on writing, i think that i might wind up writing tabitha [ a really awesome friend of mine ] today. i definitely wouldn't consider it to be a bad experience, because i know what i want to do now, i'm more independent, i'm to the point where i could probably take care of myself, and i met a lot of awesome people.

i flew home from basic training yesterday, it's nice to be home, i missed my family loads. i missed a lot of things about the civilian world, i don't know if my outlook is different yet or not. i want to say that it is, i hope that it is. I spent quite awhile in the airport, i actually bought twilight, a series that i wanted to read for a while, yesterday from columbia airport and i'm halfway through the book, i like it so far. i boarded a plane for philly at five fifty-five pm, arrived at seven thirty-two, got something to eat at bon au pain, and then took a plane back to an airport not too far from me, got my luggage, called my family, and then my sister drove me home.

i guess i'm going to write this to keep track of my life, how much i progress with being able to do everything that i need to be able to do. on monday my mom's going to take me to the employment agency, and find some temporary work for me, probably doing typing, i'm a pretty good typist if i do say so myself.

i didn't really do that much today, i unpacked my luggage that my daddy carried in for me, and then i paid for ice cream for my family and i, my dad gave me some of the money... which is nice considering that everything came out to be twenty-four, ninety-five, and i called my mom mom to let her know that i got discharged and i'm okay, not to be confused with my mother.

so anyway, i'm going to post this now... it's late enough, and i'll write more later.

[font=wingdings][color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]o[color=white]o[color=pink]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo[color=pink]n[color=deep pink]oo[color=white]o[color=deep pink]oo