humanhead , 18

She couldn’t understand why this year,

Santa claus didn’t visit her

She hadn’t been naughty, but very good

How can her forget her house

Her grandmother tried to explain

But she didn’t understand why

Santa’s reindeer couldn’t find

The small house on the river bank

She knew her parents were in heaven

With her little baby brother

Was heaven close to santa’s home?

She didn’t know where the North Pole was

Year after year, she kept on waiting

Her hope never died

Year after year, the Christmas tree

Had no gifts under it

Her list to santa kept getting shorter

Until one day she lost all faith

Why be good for a man who,

Had forgotten her so easily

So she hoped for a different man

Who gives naughty girls good gifts

She prayed and hoped

And left her good life in the past

She was gifted a million things

Too happy she was to understand

These were the gifts that took her to hell

Before she was even fully grown

left home at 8.15am. i had to get up ay 7.45 on a saturday, the one day i really get to sleep. okay, i can sleep till late tomorrow also, but thats not the point. my mum had a dental appointment so once we were done with that, we went to all these bookshops looking for a book. i may have to get it online, which is bad since its not even a school book. i sent my dad a mail saying that he should send us a bit more money to spend. and it worked. he promised to send something extra monthly for my brother and i. so i had a haircut today. i didn't want to and went their because my mother wanted a haircut. yes, we are the kind of people who travel one hour just for a haircut. i love that place. so this new guy washed my hair and soapy water nearly went into my eye. i felt it trickling towards my left eye, and then i had the chance to wipe it off. so my hair is ultra short once again, i miss my mess curly hair, but my mum said i look like i've been lost at sea for years and just got back :D what a nice way to put it!

last night before falling asleep i was just thinking about life. and i realized that after ages i am actually happy, i dont want to get away from here as much as i wanted to. i still do, i need to distance my self from some of my friends, well one particular friend who i really cant manage in my life at this moment. and i cant just ignore him, i have to actually be many miles away from him. but other wise, i've found some really good friends. people who i can be happy with. nothing serious, nothing complicated, just simple friendship. my cousin brother and i are also on really good terms. we are really starting to love each other. we used to argue a lot back then and now we share our stories, how life has been and everything. i can tell him anything but i sometimes choose not to. better be on the safe side. school has turned out to be nice, nothing stressful. well, sometimes yes, like today morning. i woke up at 4am to print the article on mass hysteria. then the color printer stops working and i had to get it in black and white. it wasn't really messed up but i felt like throwing the machine, its just that useless. then my brother comes and it works perfectly. oh well! so then to make things worse my van gets late, 30 minutes! i get to school late, but not really late so it was no issue. i was super hungry and my psych sir made things better by buying us doughnuts. so all in all, i'm happy that my life is in order. its not perfect but i feel much happier and relaxed. i think i've finally grown up, not a lot but enough. hopefully, i wont be filled with anymore bitterness, loneliness and a way of misunderstanding everything. so yey to better days, better friends and a better life :)