ishtar87 , 34

This past week has been fine. I spent last week-end home, just relaxing, which did me good. Except on Sunday morning, since I had to work. But it was really quiet, and I had a nice conversation with Angel (not the same one I used to mention very often here), one of the new guys at work. I must say he's somewhat attractive, but hey, let's not have a crush again, I've had enough of those so far! lol
Then Monday was kind of hectic at work, but since so many people are on vacation we had a little less calls. That was good. The rest of the week was pretty quiet, we had occasional peaks of 10 calls in queue, but very few. We did get some assholes on the phone, I guess the heat affects them. In my case I had one on Thursday, I had to ask her her name and age and she asked why I needed her age. I explained her, kindly, that I was just doing my job and suddenly she said "well, you do a very bad job, I'll put a complaint!". See, I can't face any criticism about my way of working if it's not constructive criticism, I can't stand anyone to tell me I'm doing something wrong when they have no clue what they're talking about. This and my intelligence are very touchy topics, because they've been questioned many times when I was a child and a teen (to make it short, most people thought I was mentally retarded because I was fat and rarely ever spoke), so when that woman said that, I panicked and hung up the phone. The worst thing is, it could have gone unnoticed, but in my panic I went and told my boss what I had done and why. lol. I'm really lucky my boss is my friend and she only told me to be careful next time and to relax, but that if the woman actually complained, I would be in trouble -not because of her but because of the higher bosses. But so far the woman has not complained.

Anyway, moving on. On Wednesday Cristina came to my place. We exchanged some music files for our mp3 players, then we went for a drink and had a long conversation. We're getting to know each other better since Ruth is not around anymore and we're getting along great. She told me the sweetest thing ever, that I'm as important to her as her father is, and she'd die if anything happened to me. She's adorable!

Speaking of Ruth, I've given her until the end of 2007 to return me the money she owes me. She says she'll only return it when I accept to see her and talk to her, so fine, I will see her, but not before I'm sure she has the money. But that doesn't mean we'll be friends again, no way. I mean, she hasn't changed, if anything she's gotten worse: now she says I never cared when she had a problem, that I never went to her place to cheer her up when she was down. HELLO? What about these days I wasted cheering her up when I was exhausted from work and only felt like being alone? What about these nights I only slept for 4 hours or less because I had spent a part of the night with her knowing I had to get up early for work the next day? Gosh, I can't believe her. I'm SO happy I got rid of her! She's an ungrateful brat. But hey, things happen for a reason and all this crap with Ruth is going to be very useful in the future. I'll know when I'm around someone who's not worth it. As for her, I don't wish her any harm at all, and I hope she'll have friends to help her out of her depression (because that IS a part of her problem), but I can not have her back in my life, as it would mean taking care of her problems as if they were mine -that's what she made me do, and I wasn't even conscious of that- and I have enough with my own problems. I'm doing good dealing with them so far but that doesn't mean it's easy. It never is. I hope Ruth will be fine but I can't be her friend. It kind of worries me to know she recently attempted suicide, but as sad as it is, and even if that makes me sound selfish, it's not my job to save her.

*Breathes* Ok, relax. *Talks to self*: It's not your fault, her problems started when she was born, because of her family. Nothing to do with you. You're over this now. It was another life. You have changed.

Ok, back to normal. I'm not sure but I think in my previous entry I mentioned a kitten my cousin Sandra found. She asked me to help her find it a home, because as much as she'd love to keep it, she can't. Well, I asked some people at work and guess who decided to keep it? Angel! Yes, the guy I had a crush on for about 2 years, the one I kept talking about here. Well, he's actually "testing" the kitten to see if his cat will accept it. He came to pick the kitten up yesterday and he'll have it home all this next week to see how things go. Then he'll decide what to do. I really hope he'll keep it! But I'm almost sure he will. I mean, when he came to pick up the kitten I had it in my arms (it's so tiny! I don't think it's even one month old) and as soon as Angel saw it he was so obviously in love with it! I mean, who wouldn't? It's so cute!

Well, the thing is, I'm finally over Angel. When he told me he was interested in the kitten my first thought was "I'm going to see him... gosh, I'm so nervous! I still like him so much!" But then, when he came over yesterday I realized I don't like him anymore, not in "that way". I do like him as a friend, I think we've talked more this week over the phone and yesterday than we have in the 2 years we've known each other, and I have a feeling we can now become great friends. We have quite some things in common: our favorite music, cats, a quiet and introverted character, and more. But I don't get butterflies in my stomach anymore when we kiss on both cheeks or when I look into his eyes. Yes, I do have this special thing I feel for him, but it's not romantic anymore, it's not a crush, and that's a great relief, because I know he only likes me as a friend and it was hard for me not to be able to control my feelings.

And last but not least, I'm on vacation this week! YESSSS!!

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SweetLakeB

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It's been almost a week again! I meant to write earlier this week but I've been busy and then sick. I'm still sick, some digestive problems I get from time to time since I was born. No biggie, but it's annoying. Sometimes I don't get them for 5 or 6 years and sometimes I get them twice in less than 6 months, like now. Oh well.

Anyway, at the beginning of this week I was feeling kind of frustrated about being stuck working where I work, like seeing no possible future for me. I mean, I'm 29, I need to start thinking of having children (not because I "have to", that would be stupid, it's because I want to, and I don't want to have them at 40), and that means getting a job that pays well enough for me to live on my own, but to get such job I need to study and that will take years. Sure, I want to go to college, but any major takes at least 4 years, and add to that at least 2 years to finish my high school studies, by the time I¡m done with it all I'll be at least 35, and that's if I started this September, which is probably not going to happen. If I want to go to college I need to be sure I won't quit out of boredom, so I need to know for sure what I want to study, which I don't.

I guess college is not an option for now. I'll still go, but it will be later, for my own pleasure, like my mom's uncle did: he went to college when he retired, at the age of 65, and studied Japanese philology or something like that. I mean, why not?

Anyway, the fact is, I need a quicker option and I've found something I can (and will) try: I've been told several times by different people that I take very good pictures, and some people have even told me I should sell them. So, again, why not? It sure is worth giving it a try. I checked some eBay stores that sell pictures that are kind of the same style I take and some sell for up to 300 euros! I mean, sure, I'll aim lower for a start, but that just means that, if my stuff is good quality, it should work. I've already selected a few pictures to start off with and worked on some variations with a computer program. I'm also looking for cheap photography classes in order to learn more and improve myself, and I've started to practice a lot more.

That new project made me feel a lot better and it made a difference on my job. I was just as bored, but I managed to remain calm. The fact that my boss told me the "higher bosses" are very pleased with me and the way I work also helps. I know I'm good at my job but it feels good to get some compliments from bosses.

The other day there was a massive power outage here in Barcelona. Many people were left in the dark for up to 56 hours! Happily the outage at home only lasted about 5 hours and I wasn't even there, I was at work. Where I work we had power because it's an emergency service, so we have enough security systems to ensure the computers will work no matter what.

I need to save money... I want to buy the new Nokia N95, I fell in love with it. And I want to buy a new mp3 I've read about that has a memory of 80GB, wi-fi internet, a 7 inch screen... I want it!!

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SweetLakeB

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I don't really have a lot to say this time, but I didn't want to let more time pass between two entries. My week has been ok I guess. The worst part was work, I really need a break. It's SO boring! But sometimes I deal with it and sometimes I just can't. This week, the only thing that helped me deal (more or less) was playing games on my cell phone. Kind of silly, but whatever.

So, what else... on Monday and Tuesday I had my last 2 Finnish classes, it went ok. I definitely want to learn more, I'll sign up for the regular course in September. On Wednesday I just relaxed at home after work, and on Thursday afternoon I went to get my hair cut. I had my hair down to my butt and now it's just past my shoulders, and the style is very different, but I like it a lot, and everyone says it suits me great. Yesterday I went to get my prescription sunglasses, and I just love the way I look with them, my new hairstyle and some lipgloss. I also bought a Finnish-Spanish dictionary and the second part of Bridget Jones' diary. Then today my aunt and my cousin Carlos came over for lunch, it was nice to see them.

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SweetLakeB

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I've been quite busy lately, which explains my recent lack of entries. I've been working, as usual. Work went ok I guess. The usual amount of assholes, the usual amount of boredom... the one good thing, though, is that the bosses are now forced to improve many aspects of our work in order to keep enough quality or else they will have to end their business. So we're now able to make suggestions and we might actually see some things change. Or at least I hope so!
But until something changes, it's the same old crap. I just haven't had to fight with Tabatha over the table bumping because she's on vacation! lol. But she'll be back tomorrow I guess...

After work I spent a big part of my afternoons in Finnish class. It's cool, and except last Friday when I just couldn't focus, I do find these classes fun and relaxing, besides I find I learn things a lot faster than I would have expected considering I haven't studied anything for at least 10 years. They say it's harder to go back to studying after a long break, but *so far* for me it's easier. Or maybe I'm just more interested in this than in the stuff I studied 10 years ago... The fact is, in class, when the teacher asks something to see if we remember a word or how to build this or that sentence, if the person she asks doesn't know it she'll automatically ask me, because she knows that 98% of the time I'll have the right answer. I'm definitely going to take the regular course that starts in October!

The only free time I've had was the past 2 Wednesdays and the week-ends. The first Wednesday I spent the afternoon cleaning my room because I saw a cockroach *near* my bed... *shivers*. The second Wednesday I went shopping with my mom, taking advantage of the summer sales, but they clothes I saw just sucked, or else they weren't my size, so I ended up buying some cosmetics I needed, but now I really wonder where I'll find clothes... I mean, where I went on Wednesday was the market where I always buy 95% of my clothes! It's almost the only place in town that has my size in clothes that can be suitable for someone my age. Barcelona definitely needs MY idea of plus size clothing.

Oh well... what else... oh yeah, on Friday I ordered new prescription sunglasses. They're a bit expensive but I just loved them and the way they suit me. And if I need that for my self-esteem, so be it.

And last but not least, on Thursday I had a huge fright: I got out of my Finnish class and walked to the bus stop 3 blocks away from there. I was getting to the bus stop, I only needed to cross the street and I was waiting for the light to turn green when this car turned around the corner, apparently not realizing a bus was coming on its left. Suddenly the bus hit the car. None of them was driving fast, happily. Actually they were both very slow, but the bus still hit the car hard enough to spin it completely around, destroy one of the car's doors, and make one of the rear wheels fly off. The car, while spinning, came straight to me, and the only reason why it did not hit me was because it was going slow and the side of the walkway was enough to slow its spinning around. The car bounced on the sideway and finally stopped its spinning in the middle of the street. When the car was spinning I jumped back, but if it had gone a little faster it would still have hit me. It wouldn't have killed me, of course, but it could have broken me a few bones. Everyone made sure the car passengers were ok (happily none of them was hurt, just scared shitless, especially the little 2 or 3 year old girl they had with them), and people who saw it all happen kept telling me I was extremely lucky the car hadn't hit me! I was so shocked I couldn't really react. All I could do was try to get my heart rate down so I wouldn't end up having arrythmia. But after a while I felt better, and since nobody seemed to need me there I took the next bus home.

I really need to quit being so lazy when it comes to typing entries here... Anyway, this past week has been pretty good. On Wednesday morning my mom came back from France. She had a good time there. She brought me the cd I had asked her to find me, Tony Parker's album. I don't usually listen to rap, but he's got a few songs that I really like. Then at night my dad came back from Southern Spain, he also had a good time there.

On Thursday I went to get my id card renewed, which I should have done since February but I forgot. The thing is, I walked to the police station instead of taking a bus because I wanted to check a couple of stores on my way there, so I got there too late. I decided to call my boss and ask if I could get to work late on Friday, because I needed my card renewed for Friday afternoon so that meant going to another police station on Friday morning. She said ok.

So I went there on Friday morning, got it renewed and then rushed to work. On Friday afternoon I went to turn my tax papers in.

On Saturday I just relaxed at home, and on Sunday I had to work. All these days work has been busier than ever. We're all losing our voice, it's crazy! They should hire more people, we're being exploited! I mean, 10 people to answer over 2000 calls? Hello!

Anyway, last night was better. First, in the afternoon, I started my Finnish summer course. We're only 3 pupils, one guy, Rafael, whose boyfriend is Finnish, so they're learning each other's language, one girl, Marina, who seems to have decided to learn a language and picked up which one by pointing at a random country on a map, and me. We have a female teacher, and she's a lot nicer than the male teacher I was told we'd have. Yesterday's lesson was easy for me, because it was basically what I've already learned on my own over the past 2 years. And no, it didn't take me 2 years to learn one lesson, it's just that I did a couple of days, left it for months, then did a couple more days, etc. lol.

After the class I met up with my mom and we went to The Cult's concert. It wasn't exactly the best performance I've seen of them (it was at least the 7th or 8th time I saw them live), but it was still very good and I had a nice time. My mom just loved it, plain and simple. She's the biggest The Cult fan ever! lol

Today I'm not going to work. This is why I worked on Sunday, to get today off and have some rest. I mean, I went to bed at almost 2 am because of the concert last night, how could I have gotten up at 5:30 for work this morning and then go to my 2 hour long Finnish class? No way.

Well, speaking of this, I guess I should go and study some Finnish...