short entry ;

really haven't done to much in the past few days. pretty much same ol' shit just different day.
mostly chilled at my cousins, smoked & chilled at bobbies dads house. mason hasn't called
since the other day when we chilled, he's starting to work so late :(

been filling out applications for random places. i need a job sooo bad. lol.

but anyway.. everyones sick. i hope i don't get it!

im rly tired guys. nighttt.




jenn <3.

I don't know why I even write in this stupid thing. It's like nobody actually reads what I have to say.. but whatever.

The past 2 weeks would have to be the worst days ever. I've almost lost the two most important people in my life. & I just lost one of my friends. I tried to make things right. But she doesn't even care. Fuck it.

I haven't seen Mason since the Thursday before Halloween. He hasn't called. My best friend won't call him. When I do call him he's "fine" but he won't call us back to chill when he gets off work. Its killing me. I cannot afford to loose anybody else. It was my fault, I shouldn't have kissed him that night I was wasted. None of this bullshit would have started. 

Alcohol makes you do stupid things. I shouldn't blame it on that. BUT goddamn, I was so hammered I could barley stand the fuck up. But when everybody else is hammered drunk they are supposed to be forgiven with the dumb shit that they do. I fuck up ONE time, and its the end of the motherfucking world. ugh.

It feels like im barley sleeping. I can't stop thinking everything. I dream about how the things use to be. But I guess it never will be.

I know He will never read this journal.

I just want him to know that he is my best friend. I love him. (NOT LIKE THAT) & I would do anyfuckingthing in this world for him. Same with all of my friends. Its just really hard when bullshit starts making you drift apart...

Jenn </3.

Its been a few days since ive written but this weekend was fucking crazy. Me & Bobbie went down to ECU to visit Emily for halloween. We got there Thursday night, so we all went out to the bar cause it was Thirsty Thursday & needless to say I got smashed. Emily knows the bartenders so he was making me up shots all night & giving us drinks for pretty cheap (:... well Halloween was a blast. We went to a party & drank the night away. I was already drunk before I got there, so i only took about 5 jello shots. I really don't remember everything that happend.. thats pretty much it.

..but to REWIND to weds. BJ walked out on Me & Mason making out in the car. BAD BAD BAD. Huge fight. & his mom told his girlfriend Lauren (they are not really dating..idk its complicated) what happend. She wants to kill me. I mean seriously fucking kill me. We took him down to ECU to visit her on halloween.. and she was cussing him out on the phone, and doesn't him hanging out with me anymore :( he said he was gonna talk to her about it when he got there.. but I don't have a clue what went down because we haven't seen him since Thursday when we dropped him off. His dumbass also got arrested Saturday night in downtown Greeville for getting into a fight.

Ugh. He's so dumb when he's drunk.

Today was cool, i guess. Waited around all day for this girl August because she wanted 2 ounces of Mary. It tooooook her forever to get her money.. which blowed. So she didn't end up getting it until about 9:00 tonight. But we got some green in return for the wait all day. Hate to be mean, but we pinched her bag. Oh well wasn't much at all.. plus what she gave us. So we all had our own blunt -- I still have a fatty roach left . (:

Welll im really tired, cause this time change has fucked me. Hopefully i'll see Mason tomorrow...

Night;

♥» Jenn.