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383. Stop being sad, start being rad.
AngelOnTheFly 25
i have such a hard time keeping up with where you a… -
383. Stop being sad, start being rad.
Dancing_smo 24
I'm excited for your new start! I kind of favor th… -
383. Stop being sad, start being rad.
StarDust5k 26
the last dress with the shoes!!! im so glad ur mo… -
382.
FatalFantasy 23
I love them all! They are beautiful. -
382.
AngelOnTheFly 25
nice! i feel like i should be standing in all of …
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kampeska , 25from RadfordCommentsStatistics
Ceramic tile and tear ducts. Steak knives and this empty feeling in my chest.
I lay on your bathroom floor, crying, screaming, begging to die. I just can't take this anymore, I cannot live in a world without you. I cannot go on without you in my life. I cannot bare to think of you with someone else. I cannot bare to think of that empty twin bed I have to look forward to.
And as I thought of dinner last night, dinner forks and steak knives, Death Cab's, "Cath" playing as I smile to myself. I try to remember every contour of your face, to conjour you when I need you most, when the tears won't stop and my stomach is eating itself alive. And as your leg braces mine underneath the booth and those sparks fly again, my heart starts to ache in a way it's known before, to a way it's come to learn to live without you. You open the door, you hold me, you tell me everything will be okay, your tear ducts are leaking as I beg for you to promise to come back to me, promise this won't be the last time I see your face, promise I won't have to do this alone. You do, and through a wilted black tank top, strained eyes and that throat ache that won't go away, I ask if you love me. You say yes, you say your feelings will never change. I ask if you are in love with me, you say yes, always. I tell you I always knew you never stopped. You say this is only for the best, the only way we can ever be together, you need to be free for awhile, get your shit straight. I spend the next three hours in a numb sleep next to you, remembering those little goosebumps you get whenever I touch you at night when you don't expect me. I commit them to my memory, I make sure they are the most prevalent thing in my mind, and maybe that's wrong. I don't fucking care. And this morning, this dreadful morning, I kiss your face, you kiss Turbo, and I say I love you, and we say goodbye. doot
Doot doot. Please make this magically bring back all my old entries!
VOILA!?
384. I knew you were a truth I would rather lose, than to have never lain beside at all.[bgcolor=white]
[font=courier new] I have not hardly had time to breathe this week. After Alex left on Friday I took a nap and then stayed at Kaitlin's for the weekend. I talked with her sister-in-law Nikki and she wants me to shoot her senior photos this Sunday, $300 out of the deal isn't bad at all. I went to my parent's office on Monday and have been spending the week with them. I went and got my teeth cleaned on Wednesday and ended up talking with my dental hygienist about her eating habits. I get this all the time where I end up talking people through their problems. I have been working my ass off on my resume and finding jobs down in Georgia, and one of the places I found told me I was disqualified because I have not/do not have a substance abuse problem. Apparently it's for an AA type counselor. Um. Okay. I was freaking out last night because I lost my Nikon charger and though I have one ordered, it won't be here until Monday and Ashley sent me a text asking if we could do her engagement photos today. I told her yes and I finally just went to Best Buy, bought another charger and I will return it when I am done or when mine gets here, and by the time I got down the mountain from my parent's house where I have service, she sends me a text telling me she can't today. Grr. I am doing her + Jared's engagement shots on Tuesday though. I am also doing their wedding photos next October, I am going to charge them $950 because I am doing both their engagement shots and their wedding shots. Plus, I have to drive up to Barboursville (which I don't even know where it is) and stay the night up there in a hotel a couple of night. So I don't think that's too bad. So I drove all the way down to Radford again, went to Best Buy, went to Panera and got a broccoli cheddar bread bowl, then went back to the apartment and I am trying to motivate myself to get up and get past this migraine and get all of my school stuff taken care of for dropping my classes. I am also carving pumpkins tonight with the neices and nephews! <3 Lots of photos of course. 383. Stop being sad, start being rad.[bgcolor=white] [font=courier new]                     Oh and hey, it's an Alex! <3  Holy crap that was a lot of clicking. You really could have just looked at those on Facebook, but oh well. On a random note, when is the Kiwi change going to occur? I want to know how long I can be a slacker with backing up my journals. Alex came up on Wednesday night! We basically just spent the weekend shooting, she was working with her large format camera and I was totally jealous before I saw how much equipment goes with it! We went up to Floyd, The Blue Ridge Parkway, Strickland Farms with the pumpkin patch, Claytor Lake, Troutdale, etc. We shot for 8+ hours daily, but it was a lot of fun, I just wish I had had more money and she could have stayed longer. I went to Kaitlin's house last night and we had a Top Model marathon. I swear if Jennifer with the lazy eye wins, I am going to stop watching, all of her photos are shit and the judges probably just feel bad for her. You cannot be a model with a lazy eye! Choose a different career path! I am going back to my parent's house today probably. So I can see my Kelly dog. <3 Alex and I took her with us when we went shooting around Troutdale and she was so good and sweet. I am going to spend the next week finishing up my University withdrawal (it sounds scarier than it is), telling my landlord I am moving, packing, getting my resume sorted out, and then moving to GA! I am really really excited. <3 I will be here back and forth all the time as well so I will have lots of time to see my parents and Kaitlin. I just need a new start, I can't really stand the imature Radford snots, and I am so happy out in GA and so is Turbo. I am trying to decide on interview clothes and I am completely void of talent when it comes to picking out work clothes, so which outfit do you think would be best? I am buying these shoes no matter what, I fucking love them. And I love these dresses but I wonder what would look best with the shoes and for an interview?       Some of them are the same dress with different colours, yes. I fail at fashion. 
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