karo_xxo , 21

Heyy guys ,
I decided not to use layouts for a bit! [:P].. I like it without a layout [:)].

Okay, so about Boyd.. He got drunk the night before (not the first time he does that) and then he texts me at around 2:30pm on the day we were suposed to hang out telling me he feels like shit! Go figure! so whatever , he said that he could still hang out, but I told him not to even bother , I mean like.. you tell me that you care, you go & get drunk the night before we hang out, knowing that you will have a hang over on the next day.. yea , right! no thanks , nextt...! lmao[:P]..

No but really , like I don't need that! I want someone who will treat me like a queen! seriously!!! haha [:P] I'm not even kidding anymore.. I'm tired of being treated like shit , so my next relationship , I will be demanding!! (I already feel sorry for that poor guy [:P]). No I'm kidding, but I will want to be treated good.. I mean, I want; someone who will care for me as much as I do for them,someone who will call me at night..just because [:)], someone who will love to kiss me,cherrish me, love me for me, someone thats trustworthy, sweet, carring, Good looking (I know its not suposed to matter, but you have to be physically attracted[:P]) & that's pretty much it [:)]... it should take about.. uhh.. a hundred years to find!! [:P] LMAO!

Okay, now about Amanda (Rob's new girlfriend).. her and I talked the day after that whole argument there..and things are fine.. shes actually coming to get me on tuesday so we can bring Shadow to the park! [:)] (Just me, her & Shadow) so that should be fun, .. she's been really sweet to me !

It's funny, because people start off hating me , then they get to know me & talk to me all the time [:)]..Kinda makes me feel good, like I'm a good person [:P].. I wish we could just skip the whole "hating me" part!!! haha

Friday.. Josie, me and her friend Mel are going to VooDoo, its not the teen dance but were getting fake Id's.. I heard that they aren't strict on Ids so [:)].. that should be fun.. and Josie & I were talking about movies, like Juno & such and we decided that we are gonna find someone to burn a shitload of movies and were gonna have like a movie day or movie weekend [:)]..her , me and I dont know who else.. a bunch of people probably! [:P]. Plus Juno is coming out on DvD on the 15th [:)]..WOOOO!! [<3]

Anyways, it's 2:09 am and I need to sleep [:P]..so I will go sleep, wake up, clean & eat and then I'll get to journals! [:)]..promise have a good night/day everyone!! [<3] xo

OH!! I got my blue month!! [:)] YAY me!! haha *makes a little dance* god I'm in a friggin good mood!

yea , another boxie.. i'm not even in the mood to get a boxie layout..
sorry for not getting to journals.. I know , bad subby.. I just.. had a overall bad day, and I've only been up for 3 hours!
No, I didn't hang out with Boyd yesterday , he got drunk the night before so I decided to fuck it.. if he doesnt care enough to the point hes getting drunk the night before knowing very well he will get a hangover then no..
No more guys, no more dating, no more looking for anyone!! let them boys find me for once, then if i'm interested I'll date..
oh , and I drank last night.. with Ashley, Pat, Eric & Joey.. drank a little too much, I dont usually get hang overs but fuck, am I ever hung over! :|,.. I'm gonna go lay down .. ttyl's .

[font=wingdings][color=0099FF]nonono[/color]nono[color=009999]nono[/color][color=009966]nono[/color][color=009933]nono[/color][color=009900]nonono[/color][color=009933]nononon[/color][color=009966]onono[/color][color=009999]nono[/color][color=0099CC]nono[/color][color=0099FF]nonon[/color][/font]

[color=white]Ohh I know[:(] I'm a baaaaddd subby!!! [:(]..Ugh.. I barely have time to write this entry [:P].. I have to clean my room and then shower, and then Boyd is coming over [:)][<3].. he was the sweetest guy last night, I had to walk home, alone and it was 12:30 am and he stayed on the phone with me until I got literally in my house! [:P].. what a sweetiiieee[<3].. and he was drunk! lmao.. all his friends went to the bar except him and Kevin.. Anyways, I'm gonna go [:)].. I have to call and wake him up in 50 minutes! haha , take care everyone [<3].. I hope I'll get my cleaning done in time :|.. [/color]

[font=wingdings][color=0099FF]nonono[/color]nono[color=009999]nono[/color][color=009966]nono[/color][color=009933]nono[/color][color=009900]nonono[/color][color=009933]nononon[/color][color=009966]onono[/color][color=009999]nono[/color][color=0099CC]nono[/color][color=0099FF]nonon[/color][/font]

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Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
[bgcolor=B6F7A5][font=symbol]..©[/font][/bg]I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say
I.'.m..s.o.r.r.y

[color=white]Okay, I'm gonna start off by saying this, fuck man ! is the milk ad EVER annoying? [:P].. I dont know if you guys know what I mean.. but EVERYTIME I come on kiwibox, the milk ad pops up every like 5 minutes.. ugh

Anyways , this is gonna be long.. I'll try to make it short..[:P] Okay so yesterday I woke up ,somewhat in a bad mood..(didn't get much sleep) I was talking to Rachel (girl that lives with Rob, and Jeremy wich is her boyfriend and the father of the baby shes carrying) and we were talking about Shadow..then next thing you know , some Amanda girl takes over and starts saying shit like Shadow aint mine & blah blah blah..Shes Robs new girl.. so I understand that its weird and not easy for her to see that him & I share a dog.. I told her I don't want Rob..and then she pushed it TOO far.. she starting talking about how Shadow is hers so man, I got mad.. anyways I let that go and then later on I called Rob (because it was really nice out for once, and I wanted Shadow to come over) and She's the one who answered.. but didnt know it was me.. so I talked to Rob and he said that he would probably bring him over, just not right at the moment. so we hang up , I go on msn and Amanda was on Rachels account and she was like "you are in some fucking luck that I didn't know it was you. DON'T CALL HIM AGAIN!" lmao I thought it was funny like, what could she do through a phone? :S..so I was like "I can call back if you want? [:)]" and that pissed her off, it's still making me laugh [:P]..Anyways it turned out to this BIG thing, we were 5 involved in one conversation (on msn) ; Me, Josie (yea ,the girl who wanted to beat me up now has my back [8D]), Sydney, Amanda & Amandas friend.. it was quite the hilarious conversation actually!! it pissed off Josie when I told her that Amanda was throwing threats at me, since Amanda is 20 and I'm only 17 (well.. will be in may[:P].. Josie is barred for the bars (shes only 18 and she knows how to get in & all) shes barred because she got into a fight with a 21 year old girl and that girl ended up lying on a hospital bed.. why am I even happier that Josie doesnt hate me anymore? [:P] lmao..
anyways..everyone ended up leaving the conversation after about an hour, so it was only Amanda & I and she wanted me to call her so we could "settle this" so I did.. maaaann , I never swore so much or literally SCREAM after someone through a phone!! It actually scared me , lmao ..cux I'm this sweet inocent girl , and then I go and let my "tiger" out.. HAHA ! Anyways , I was getting really fucken mad , so I asked her if she could just give Robert the phone..and him and I talked.. Guess what!! I am not alloud near the dog ever again , well THAT fucken pissed me off so I was like "No , you dont fucken get to do that!! when WE broke up we AGREED that dog was mine just as much as yours!!! Shadow is all I have and you do NOT get to take that away from me!!! do you fucken understand? " and I hung up.. I was A-N-G-R-Y!! :|..holy shit.. I was shaking so much out of anger!! I NEVER seen myself like that before..

Anyways, after that my internet wouldnt work and I was too fucken mad to even try , so I called Marcel (I was talking to him on msn.. hes a friend) and then when I hung up with him I made myself something to eat since I havent eaten anything all day and it was about 10pm.. lol I was still fucken mad and upset..next thing you know my phone rings..it was Boyd[:)].. THAT made me happy.. its like if he knew I was having a really bad night and called just to put a smile on my face, wich he did! [<3]..that man is more than amazing!!!

You guys are probably wondering "If he's so amazing, why did they break up in the first place?" well , Boyd was working full time and he was really busy , and when he would tell me that he would call, he never actually would..or he would , but when it was too late to hang out.. (seems to be a problem with alot of men these days[:P]..) anyways , on the affectionate, carring + loving side he was; perfect! [<3].. I remember when we went for a long walk and his friend picked us up, Boyd was sitting in the front passenger seat, and i was sitting in the back and he was still holding my hand! [:P] I could tell he was really uncomfortable, but..[:P] it was too cute.. and he called me tonight, wich proves that hes getting better.. Oh, he has a cell phone now so i always know how to reach him..and I have his friends numbers! [:P] (he gave them to me , if ever i need to reach him and his phone doesnt work or something) haha. he's really happy that we are giving this another shot [:)]..

Anyways , this entry is long enough , sorry I didnt get many journals yesterday, I dont think I can get any today either [:(]..unless I do when I come home at midnight.. because i'm going out to Marcels house to hang out with him and his girlfriend Melanie (Mel used to be my bestfriend..we lost touch)..so have a good day everyone [<3] xo[/color]

OH, p.s Amanda and I talk now.. like actual human beings.. [:P]..we apologized & all..so I hope I get to see Shadow still [;)]


Me

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This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
[bgcolor=B6F7A5][m][color=white][font=symbol]©[/font]..automatic responders list here. [/color][/m][/bg]The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right

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[font=symbol]©[/font]..

Yesterday I wrote an entry , and received responses that I did not approve of at all.. I just think that if people think of me as a racist, or a bad person, that I'm gonna be "flipping burgers" at MacDonalds (the conversation continued through kiwinotes) , well if thats how you see me , fine.. But to go and say it to me ? Come on.. I'm only sixteen going on seventeen in a little over a month, and yes I know quitting school for you guys seemed like the worst thing to do.. but I do have alot of reasons for making that decision.. I just thought I'd point out that if people have a nasty comments , keep them to yourself..

Ok , about my entry title.. I found out last night that a few years ago a little girl was found dead in a box in Parkton (a place in my city thats knwon for "gangs", I personally went in that neighborhood and most of the people there are sweethearts) well they found that little girl dead, she was rapped & probably beatten to death, or left there to die.. they found her in a box that was hidden in a "pedophiles" closet.. I don't know more , her age, or how long the man was sentenced to.. but I could not stop thinking about it.. I cried thinking about how that little girl must have felt, what her last images were , its SICK..

I ended up going to bed at 6:30 am, lied in bed and finally fell asleep around 7:30 am.. I woke up almost every hour, I really had a hard time, but at around 12 I finally slept for a good 2 hours & a half.. but I had a dream that I was that little girl.. and it just.. It really breaks my heart that people even think about doing things like that to another human being, actually doing it ? oh my gosh.. its horrible.. what has this world come to ? We all sit there and worry about Global warming, yes , it is in fact something we should ALL worry about & work on.. but hello people, look around you, there are alot of other things happening, and you're probably wondering "well.. if global warming makes the world come to an end, we would have worried about pedophiles & such for nothing" no , it is not for nothing.. we are alive in this very moment, and its what we should "worry" about..

Anyways , do you guys remember that girl i was talking about that wanted to beat me up, Sydneys friend?..(Josie) well it turns out that her & I are now talking.. and everythings fine.. we decided to start a petition.. shes coming here monday and we are gonna go to all the grocery stores to get people's signature.. we just want to be heard!! and we want people like Jake Allen wood (go see yesterdays entry if you dont know what I'm talking about) to get a harsher sentence than only ONE goddamn year.. Oh , and we are writting a letter to times & transcript (city newspaper) We are teenagers that are damn right aloud to get our words across!! we are gonna send the petition to the "crown justice" and "crown procecuters" (i think thats how they are called)

Anyways , enough talking..its 1:20 am and I want to go watch Greys Anatomy then go to bed! [:P] take care people, xo[<3]

©spitzy_sucker78..[/bg][/bg]