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Where were you when all I needed was a call ..
Sugar_xxx 26
I'm sorry you aren't happy and school isn't going w… -
Where were you when all I needed was a call ..
Mashuki 24
You know that i'm always going to be here for you, … -
Got my tattoo :) pics.
Sugar_xxx 26
I'm excited for you that you got your tattoo!! … -
hmmm ?
Spacefish 25
hey, it´s the same for me too i don´t wanted younge… -
hmmm ?
Sugar_xxx 26
Change is hard to get used to, but once we figure o…
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You saw hope in the hopeless .. *Hey , well there's alot to update on, but I'll try to make this entry as short as possible since I need to go to bed super early tonight!! Anyways, Kyle and I aren't together anymore. We talked after school, and I mentionned it to him that maybe for now we would be better off as friends because he deserves someone that will be able to make him happy and that wont be so broken.. To my surprise, he agreed and he even added that everything had been stressing him out lately and that he also thinks we would be better off as friends. But, he also said that he's always there for me, wich is nice! Jenna , me and her boyfriend went for a drive tonight.. We didn't really talk about the fighting, we we're just really fed up about everything and decided it was time to stop fighting, we're in grade 12 for fuck sakes. As for Haillie, well .. I don't know ? She's stubborn, so she wont apologize anytime soon and I've tried. So that's that! Tomorrow are the grad pictures, after school Jenna and I are going to get our hair done :) I think I'm gonna get mine "half curled" like.. not big curls, not wavy, in between? lol does that make sense? Anyway, I need to go to bed, so I'll end this entry with a picture of Madison on her first birthday and a recent picture of Shadow! :) ;  I miss him so much[<3]  Isn't she the cutest? :) Take care! - Karoline. hedley boxie .Hey, well I don't feel like writting an entry.. I've been feeling like shit the whole day. So I'm gonna listen to Hedley and try to get some more rest. Sorry! - Karoline . [TSE picture :)] Cause I'm bleeding out inside, and I don't even seem to mind. Hey, well first of all, thanks again to all of my amazing subbies for reading and responding to my entry! :) Well, yesterday was an extremely long day at work, Tyler & I were the only ones working and he was on full serve so I was mostly inside the store by myself. Was it ever busy too!! But it was still a good day! After work I came home and passed out, I was beyond exhausted. Kyle came over after he was done work (around 8:30) and we watched "obsessed" then we talked. It's weird because throughout the whole movie I was looking forward to him leaving, then after the movie I actually cuddled with him. We talked, and I told him that I don't know if I want us to break up or not,.. that most of the time I'm confused. So I said that we should have an open relationship (still see other people) and he agreed.. I think I kind of wanted him to say it was either all or nothing because it's not fair for him at all, but I mean, if I can't give him what he deserves, someone else has to. His mind is made, he's not leaving my side. And I don't know if I'll be any better at this anytime soon .. so it's hard right now to figure out what I want to do about all of it. I just don't know, being confused sucks. I obviously don't care about him as much as he cares about me, but I also can't bring myself to break this off.. Why ? I'm gonna go shower and get ready for whatever today has to bring! - Karoline .  first picture; me & Andrew (ten second epic lead singer) / second picture; me and Dan! (TSE's guitarist/bassist wtv haha) Keep me safe inside..Well, I should start by thanking everybody who took the time to read & comment yesterday, I have awesome subbies!! Anyways, yesterday I spent the day/night cleaning my entire room and moving things around. That seems to be what I do when I don't want to face whats actually going on in my life. So I decided I needed to face it, I went online and told Kyle to do the same. We talked, I told him everything. That I felt as if I was leading him on because I didn't know if this would last ,and I simply don't know if I'll be able to share the feelings that he shares for me. He said that he understands but he wants to make this work and he's ready to work for it. hmm Another thing is that he said that he doesn't want kids. I do! I mean, not now but I want some in the future, atleast 1 or two. I said it wouldn't be right for me to be with him and expect his decision to change over time (if we were to stay together for the long run) and he said that his mind isn't completely made, but he would much rather be happily taken with kids than to be unhappy alone in a one-bedroom appartment with nothing but his car. Difference between him and I is that I know what I want (future wise), and no one is going to change my mind for that. Now, if only I could know what I want now relationship wise, it would save me all of this nonsense. I'm gonna ask him if he wants to come sleep over tonight,I mean, he keeps telling me that he's there for me and that he cares about me, maybe my problem is that I just need to let him be there and care for me. I'll try everything in my power to make this work, and if it doesn't then I know I'll have tried right? I have to go do my hair & eat breakfast.. Getting up at 3:45am for work is so shitty! take care everybody, I'll get journals after work[:)]. - Karoline.. He broke me, and it cannot be fixed.I'm angry. I'm angry at Rob for doing this to me. I'm angry at myself for letting him do this to me. I'm angry at myself for letting it bother me for a year and a half. I'm angry at myself for not being able to love others the way I loved him. I'm angry that I still cry at the thought of not ever being with him. I'm upset because I'm broken. I'm upset because I didn't know how one human being could have such power over another. I'm upset because I can't do this anymore, it's childish. I fear not being able to be happy again, truly happy. I fear being alone for the rest of my life, sure I'll have my family and friends ,but it's not the same you know.. "My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize".. I don't know what to do anymore, I wish I wasn't me, I wish I could be happily taken instead of very unhappily confused. This isn't fair. How could he have broken me this much ? How do I fix it? Can I fix it? - Karoline. P.S. It's Madisons first birthday today!! Can't believe it's already been a year, happy birthday little girl [<3]!! |
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