karo_xxo , 20

[font=Gulim]Hey ,
well I don't really have time to write an entry, I'm exhausted!! Worked yesterday til midnight, got home at 12:30 , fell asleep at 1, had to wake up at 6.. talk about hell!

Speaking of work, we dont get breaks, wtf? .. Yeah , thats not even legal. ugh, I'll talk more about it when I have time .. Wich definatly wont be tomorrow because tomorrow is the Ten Second Epic concert [:)][<3]

p.s, Kyle is soooo good to me!! [:)] he's been chearing me up all day because I was tired and he kept making me smile [<3] .. I have a feeling this one will last, it's about time !

goodnight, I'll come on thursday or wednesday to read entries ! xoxo

-Karoline . [/font]

[font=gulim] Hey !
Yes, I decided to write again today [:P] .. I actually missed writting in here, I remember like a month ago I cam on here and tried to log in but I couldn't figure out my username or password ! hahah I guess I figured it out yesterday, it had been a while !

To answer my journal responses from yesterday; the concert was alot of fun!! [:)] and I'll post pics (don't have much time today, so I'll post it by wednesday for sure!![:)])..
I can see how people think tattoos are addictive, I just love them!! [<3] but the best tattoos are the ones who means something to the person getting it done. For example, honor tattoos are my personal favorite ! I just find it so beautiful people would tattoo something on their body in honor to someone who passed, or someone who is still alive but really close to them [<3] mind you, I think people who tattoo their spouses name is stupid (no offence to anyone who got it done)..

As mentioned yesterday, I'm getting a second tattoo done november 6 [:)] (by the same tattoo artist). It's going to be on my forearm (and yes, I know that could possibly make it harder to find a job, hence why they invented long sleeves [:P]) it's gonna be a rose , a full one.. not just the "top of the rose" I want the thorns and everything, theres gonna be one floated/fallen peddle and underneath it's going to say "Let it be" .. Now, for those who know me knows that let it be has alot of meaning to me and plus is gose really well with the flower & fallen peddle. [:)] .. Tell me what you think, good or bad ! The rose probably isn't going to be red though, because red is a known color for tattoos to fade faster, so I told Brad (tattoo artist) that the color is up to him! I just know he's gonna do an amazing job with it, roses are his favorite thing to tattoo! [:)]

Oh, I was almost gonna forget ! If you're thinking about getting a tattoo but you're scared of the pain, I'll tell you what I did. there's a cream called Emla Cream (sold in pharmacies, behind the counter) what it does is that it numbs your skin for about an hour.. when I went for my tattoo I had put it on 30-40 minutes before getting the tattoo done, and as he was doing the outline it honestly felt like somebody was writting on me with a pen!! It wore off by the time that he did the coloring & shading but that wasnt painful, it was more of a annoying feeling! Some people call it "cheating" when you use that cream, but I mean, tattoos hurt [:P] .. I'm gonna use the cream for my second tattoo because its gonna be REALLY close to my wrist, the closer to your wrist that you get the more it burns!!

I got a new job, at a gas station and I start today.. I'm sorta excited because I got hired very easily (I know someone who works there, and she refered me! [:)]) but the shifts are until midnight on the week days wich might be a little hard considering I have to get up for school at 6 am .. but then again, I've noticed that I only fall asleep at around 12 anyway.

I didn't get many journals yesterday because Kyle came over sooner than I thought he would [:P].. We watched Grey's, then Twilight and then the Hedley dvd try this at home.. I swear, I can make him watch anything!! But then he tries to distract me with sex , haha if he hates the movie that's usually what he does [:P]. But hey, no need to tell me that its a win/win situation for me ! hahah [:)] . I have a feeling we're gonna last for a while, because with him I was able to be myself since the start and I'm just so comfortable with him! I'll take a picture of him & I eventually and post it on here[;)] haha!

Anyways, enough rambling, I have to go shower and get ready for work.. yay..... hahah
take care everyone [:)] xo
- [<3] Karoline .

OH p.s, if people have passwords, kiwinote me the password so I can read & leave comments [:)] if you want ![/font]

[font= Gulim]
Holy crap! It's been since june haha , I think it's about time I update eh ? oh my I have so much to say!! I don't know where to start, but boy did I ever miss writting in here and hearring from you guys !

Okay, I'll start off by talking about my summer .. so ;
July 3rd & 4th my friend and I went to PEI for the "festival of lights" [:)] it was so much fun! the bands playing were ; Simple Plan, Theory of a deadman, Daughtry and Marianna's Trench! [<3] Was it ever so much fun, even though both days it down pourred and we were SOAKED all day/night standing there listening to these amazing bands ! but was it ever worth it!! [:)] after the shows, Haillie (bestfriend) and I got to meet all the members from simple plan (except David, my fav!) and we got to meet Chris Daughtry [:)] they were all sooo nice!! I'll post pictures if you guys want me to!

okay, other than that.. I've actually been a much happier person, I can honestly say I haven't missed Rob in quite a while, we even all hungout not that long ago and it was fine ! We talk and act like friends and I'm more than okay with that!

I've dated a few guys durring the summer, but none of them worked out because now I know what I deserve and don't deserve... when they gave me crap, I broke it off. Personally, I'm proud of myself for that [:)] .. I'm trying not to ramble on, but its been so long! [:P] anyways, I'm currently in a relationship with a guy that I'm extremely happy with [:)] .. He's done nothing but been amazing to me so far, so things are good !! his name is Kyle [:P] & we go to school together.. wich, speaking of... Guess what? I am graduating in 2010!!!! wich for me is amazing, because since I had dropped out for a year, and then I went back to school, got on my feet and here I am, grad year and I am FINALLY able to say that I'm going to graduate!! [:)] like I said, life is good !!

okay, well you probably saw the title so now you know I finally got a tattoo [:P] .. I'd been procrastinating it for so long! I think it was damn about time I got one! here are the pictures [:)]


while he was doing it [:)]


alllll done !!! don't mind me, I was extremely exhausted haha


edited the effect, I love it[:)]

Now here are some other random pictures;

Me and my friend Lacey! (:


Steve (just a friend) and myself !
don't mind me , I was a little intoxicated hahah


last but not least, me and Haillie! [:)] we had entered a contest to "win a date with Hedley", we didnt win though [:(] but we had fun making the video! [:P]

Anyways, I dont want this entry to be SO long that whoever reads this will fall asleep hahha. I called today and made an appointment for my second tattoo, it will be done on November 6th by the same tattoo artist :) mind you, hes done such an amazing job for my first (&only ) one, that I want him to do my second one [:P] .. If you guys want to know what I'm getting done, let me know 7 I'll tell ya! [:)]

I'm gonna try to catch up on journals that I havent read since june.. hmm, but I think I'm gonna start writting in here daily (TRY) again [:)] .. so suscribe to my journal if you want ! xo
- Karoline. [/font]

[font=dotum]It's been a year and a half and I still find time to cry about him and miss him.

I thought about him every fucken goddamn day .... I can't do this anymore, I need to get over my ex. He's obviously moved on, is very much inlove with my friend and they're moving out at the start of the month .

I just can't do this anymore .. and my anxiety has gotten MUCH worse ... for example , tonight I was home alone and almost every single light in the house were on because it scares t he living hell out of me to be in the dark.. with all athe dreams I've been having of being murdered ,its starting to control my life.

I'm most definatly not happy, I need to change things around , I do not want to end up like my mother.. but maybe I'm already there ?
[/font]

[font=Gulim]Heyy ,
I know it's been a while since I came on here and wrote something or even commented on a journal entry and I'm sorry. I've been busy with school and all , and it was a little overwhelming at one point but I made it through [:)] .

The reason I decided to write in my journal again is because there are many thoughts I need to just let out , questions I need to just put out there. I don't care if you don't respond to my entry , or even notice that I updated my journal. I don't expect you to , because I've been a horrible subby .

I guess my questions all revolve around the same thing ; Love and happiness. Question such as , why can't I be happy with someone like I was with Rob ? I know you never truly get over your first love , but is it normal to still have dreams that you two are gonna get together and miss him ? Yeah , he was a horrible boyfriend the last two months of our relationship, but I loved him so damn much .. Funny thing is ,nobody really believed me that I actually did in fact love him . But I can promise you that I would've given him anything in the world for it to last.

Anyways , since Rob I've dated.. never lasted more than a week or two because I compare every damn person to him , why is that ? How can I go from thinking I really like someone one day to not wanting anything to do with them the next? I mean , the guys I've dated were really sweet and carring, what I suposably was looking for; guess not eh..

The only one I really cared about and stuck around for 3 months was Chris .. Don't know if you remember from like November to January I used to talk alot about him [:P].. The one with the bad lungs and the smoking problem.. What a catch eh ! But he reminded me of Rob in so many ways !! Is that why I stuck around ? Is that why I wanted him so much? Did he make me feel closer to Rob ? I don't know .. It all seems so silly to me that I'm asking questions I should know the answer of myself , but yet , here I am .. Completely Unable to date because I get sick of them in a week .. I don't even sleep with them or anything, I just get plain sick of them. Why is that ? Why is it that I was with Rob for 9 months and if we wouldnt have broken up, I'm sure we would have still been together to this day . But it's been a year and a half since the breakup .. I guess I really need to get over it , or maybe I need to get over myself?

Speaking of ,Rob and his gf Jess are moving in together starting of July.. Maybe that's what brought everything back to me ? Maybe I'm jealous that she has everything I've ever wanted with Rob .. ? Why do I even care ,it's not like he treated me well ...

Ahh , I don't know .[/font]