karo_xxo , 20

[font=Dotum]Can't stay long, just had to say that Rachel and I saw twilight tonight and we both absolutely LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!!! [<3].. Robert (acter who plays Edward) is SO damn freaking HOOOOOT and a good acter at that !! [:)] ..*drools*

[font=Eras Medium ITC]Let me feel,
I don't care if I break down.
Let me fall,
Even if I hit the ground.

& If I cry a little,
die a little,
Atleast I'll know I lived,
Just a little, let me feel.

I refuse to let my life roll all over me,
let me feel, I don't care if I break down.

love that song.. it's a soundtrack from one tree hill[<3]


Hey,
First off , I'm gonna thank everyone who responded last night, it means alot to me.

About Chris, I keep telling myself I'm giving up,but then I start missing him, miss talking to him, miss having him around. So I guess there's no giving up here. talking about Chris, the dumbass was more than likely in the hospital last night !! Two people at his job got fired (I guess he HATED them) and he decided to celebrate and get wasted (alone , well he was waiting for Jenny and Tyler) and then , stupid like he is when he drinks (wich.. if you ask me, is often enough)he fell off his chair (WAY TO GO DRUNKY! *rolls eyes*) and thinks he broke his goddamn finger , but Chris hates hospitals, then randomly he told Rachel (she was the one talking to him on msn, but she was telling me everything[:P]) he was like "g2g, ttyl" and signed out, either Jenny got there or he fell again and decided to go to the hospital..
And I thought I was clumsy! I'm not very impressed with him and his choices at the moment, more disapointed than anything.. But hey,I'm not going to say anything, it's his life, not mine.

I'm gonna start that Slim-Fast diet tomorrow.. I'll go do the grocery with my dad tonight and buy some fruits & whatnot.. I wanted a watermelon but they are 10.99$ like..seriously? who would pay 11$ for a watermelon!!! Well, I probably would actually..

Twilight came out last night, two people that saw it told me it was amazing so I'm definatly looking foward to it. But the ratings were 5.5 out of 10! :o.. that's stupid..

Anyways, I have to go, the cramps are actually really really really hurting me at the moment.. I'll get journals once they ease off a little. [<3]
xx.

Edit!
Okay, so Rachel and I have been fighting like all night and morning, because I've been cramping so I didn't want to go to her mom's . Anyways , now were fighting because I asked her if she wanted to start dieting with me and shes putting words in my mouth saying that I think shes fat and that I'm rude! WTF , her BOYFRIEND calls her fat cow & a fat bitch..and shes mad at ME ?.. holy fucken.. UUGH


Edit 2!
Rachel and I were able to talks things out and I think her and her mom are on their way to come get me , so most likely wont write/get journals til monday since I'm going away .. til then , take care kiwis :) [<3].. oh, I didn't talk to Chris yet, I think this little "break" may help me figure out what I really want.. I know it involves him, but I mean, I need & deserve this little break.
xx..

[font=Dotum] I want to be somebody who can face the things I've been running from.

Don't know how much longer I can take this situation with Chris, the other night I cried so hard that I almost got sick, his health isnt getting any better, meanwhile mines getting really horrible (im not dying, like him , but i always feel sick) and I think its stressing me out, I was suposed to start yesterday, no show for that.

No worries, theres no way I could be pregnant.

I miss him though,
alot.

oh and New moon is pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :@ come baaack [:(]

[font=Dotum]Last night I had a very hard time with Kijiji , I could get in my notes and it would freeze, but couldn't get in any journals, not even mine.. so that's why I didn't get any journals, I will after this entry though [:)].

I noticed that in every entry I have something to say about Chris, so I'm sorry if I annoy whoever reads this [:(].. But we talked like all night last night [:)] hehe ! when we didn't know what to talk about he'd start a "-nudge-dot-emoticons" conversation, lmao and we'd laugh.. Oh and if you have facebook you must know what the application owned is, well I own like 4 of his pics, and he kept buying them telling me to re-buy them after him..lmao! [:P] that was fun, he got "mad" when he went into "rank" (on owned) and figured out hes worth less than me [:)]. HA! and then he was like "well guess what, my pictures are worth more than yours! HA" lmfao [:P] and then I was like "yeah , only because I'm sick of you re-buying them so I pay millions for them" LMFAO !!! it was HILARIOUS! haha[:P].

So I fell inlove with three songs from one tree hill [<3] ; Elsewhere , Let me fall & Halo . If you watch one tree hill, it's Haley that sings them all [:)] (real name is apparently Bethany Joy Lenz)

well, this has got to be the most boring entry of all.. Oh! if you want to add me on facebook, search for the name "Karoline Arseneault" or the email "karoline-xxo@hotmail.com" [:)] I hope I'll get some requests !

p.s the birds must be dead or something (they aren't[:P]) because they let me sleep til lunch time :|...

Edit!:
if you're currently reading twilight and haven't red New moon yet, or are planning to, don't read the following because it might ruin it for you a little.
Anyways , Kiwibox has been a fucken dumbass with me all day, I dont even know if it will let me load this edit up ? I've tried reading journals, got a few but the rest, I'll try and get at Rachels (sleeping there tonight) because our internet seems to be a bitch.
ok, now onto New Moon, I was reading it, and this is gonna sound really cheesy but the whole time I was reading I was like "hmm, this could be Chris and I" so instead of trying to picture Edward and Bella, I'd picture me and Chris (its easier that way,for me to actually get into the book!) & well, Edward up and left,without even.. Ugh I dont know, but I started bawling my eyes out, what if this is like me and Chris, what if we do fall inlove, his lungs doesnt get better and he dies in 3 years ? what then ? it's breaking my heart right now just to think about it, how would I cope with this in 3 years? I know this is gonna sound really bad, but its really breaking my heart ,maybe if someone else would talk to him and make him realise he IS dying? :'( .

[font=Dotum]First I want to apologize, yesterday I did read all the journals, but I didn't respond to all. Sorry!

Moving on ,
yesterday I was at Rachels again, called my dad to drive me to the mall at 1:30, got there went to Toys R Us and bought little "gagoo tagoo" (something like that) mittains(sp?) for Madison, she already had the pink ones so I bought the yellow ones for her.
Then I walked to Stitches and had my interview, we laughed and whatnot but at the end he was like "we're interviewing a few other people this week, so you can call me back next week to know if you got the job" , well I'm hoping I did..
Anywho, after that I took the bus back at Rachels and ate the "hamburger helper" I bought & Jeremy made for us [:)]..

I fell inlove with a song it's poker face by Lady Gaga ! It's really good!! I thought it was so weird the first time I heard it, but then the beat sticks to your mind and you start singing it and then you're just like "hmm lets play it again"! [:P].

Well, about Chris, I decided to stay by his side and help, if he leaves Jenny and decides to be with me eventually, then so be it [:)] if not, then I'm still gonna be by his side because I know he really appreciates everything I've done so far.

Well on the 29th we're all going to Rachels and drinking (its the first time Madison is gonna get babysat, so Rachel is more than likely going to worry the whole night [:P]) but yea I'm a cheap drunk, 4 coolers will get me drunk (I drink reallllllly fast though) and on the 29th I'm drinking 4 coolers & a half of lemon gin.. woo ! most likely getting high at the end too, [:P] I dont understand how people can be addicts to weed, I mean like.. NEVER in my life would I do anything other than weed, smoke cigars or cigarettes ... the only things I smoke when I get high is weed and cigars. But still, I couldnt smoke them everytime I get drunk :s.. sure its somewhat a good feeling but then when it wears off you feel shitty!

Anywho , I'm still tired, damn birds woke me up [:(]..I'll be back later to get journals. [<3]
xx..