I hate how we can only type so many letters, what if what I have to say is more than a thousand letters? Plus that thing doesnt even know how to count, it says I only have 9, 714 letters left. pfft!

Anyways, things havent been getting better. I've been really trying my best this past month to make this whole "school thing" work.. but it's getting worse & worse.. School isn't for everybody, wish my dad would understand that. I actually hate it there, the last time I was this unhappy was when Rob and I broke up, everyone knows how much of a mess I was then..

I hate everything about it, how I'm so behind in every class.. How I have to face Kyle and his slut of a girlfriend everyday , how Haillies slowly sucking away all my friends from me, how when I wake up in the morning the thought of having to be there for 8 hours literally brings me to tears.. I'm really fucken irritated with everything lately, everyone says that I work too much & I'm crazy for picking up extra shifts.. but works my "get away" place.. It's where I'm around people who understand me. People who wouldn't think less of me if I decided to do my GED instead.

Atleast I went back, I tried, really hard. I found myself at the guidance counseller atleast 7 times in the past month asking how easy it would be for me to get transferred to another school, but with all the buses , Macnaughton is my only chance.

I'm so stressed and unhappy its actually making me sick.. I've been telling myself for this past month that it will get better, to just hold on, but its only been getting worse. Besides if I do decide to do my GED instead, I can only imagine that I'm gonna get kicked out of my house and I'll have to find a place to stay. Why can't people just understand how much of a struggle this is?

I talked to my manager yesterday and I was nearly in tears, she even agrees that for some people school is the easiest thing, but for others it may just be the hardest. It's not for everybody. my family doesn't understand that,and I know I'm repeating myself, but I really wish they'd be on my side for this one and proud of me for trying and not think "well, shes giving up again".. Why can't they look on the bright side? Atleast I have a steady job this time, that I love & pays well.. I could work more, save up..


I think I ended my last entry(or one of them) with "I really need things to get better" , well I still do. Now more than ever.. Because I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.


On the brighter side of things, theres a guy that comes into work once like everynight. He's a regular. He's super cute, also french ;).. hehe he came in twice last night and we striked up a conversation both times lol. You know how when you meet someone at work and you kind of just want to give them your number but youre scared that it may backfire and get you fired? lol, well this is one of them. I give him about 22 years old, he seems mature, and hes french ;). I know I said that already, but thats always a bonus! lol

Anyway, I should get going, I feel as if I'm gonna be sick again, good times.

p.s I really need this to get better, if it doesn't and I choose to go for my GED, I'm hoping I'll get the support for that as well. I think I deserve it, I mean, I tried!