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I'll eventually be okay...
Sugar_xxx 26
Oh hey! Yay! You're moving in with Danielle...awes… -
Last night was probably one of the worst night in my life...
Sugar_xxx 26
Good luck! Message me on FB if you ever need anyone… -
Last night was probably one of the worst night in my life...
Sugar_xxx 26
I think you should be open to living with your frie… -
Last night was probably one of the worst night in my life...
Sugar_xxx 26
...anything). But that's life. I'm glad he didn't h… -
Last night was probably one of the worst night in my life...
Sugar_xxx 26
Oh girl...I am so so sorry for what happened. But I…
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feeling crappy :\[bgcolor=FCD2CA]
 entry 72.. I fall in love with you just thinking about you [font=symbol]©[/font] Remembering all the memories that we've made Falling in love for the first time Our first kiss, Saying our first I love you's.. [color=BD003E]Hey Guys, How's life? Mine's not bad... I feel kinda crappy though, since yesterday after lunch... I don't know why but. It sucks. My stomach is acting up really weirdly (if that's even a word! lol), and my kidneys hurt.[:(] Atleast... I think it's my kidneys... lol. But i'll survive... don't worry![:P] Phil slept over last night, but he had to leave early this morning because he had a phone interview with the Royal Bank (remember his sister said she'd get him a job with her? Well he applied 2 days ago, and they called him yesterday for a phone interview!). He texted me right after, and it went really well... he has a real interview on monday!![:D] I'm so happy for him!! He really deserve it... they pay really well, and plus it's easy to get a higher postition there... I know one of my friend's sister works there too, she started there, but now she's something else... I can't remember what, but it's pretty high up there, and she goes on trips like all the time... and didn't took her long either! So i'm glad that he'll be working somewheres where there's more opportunities for him... he's just too smart to be working a crappy job. As for me... I found a really interesting part time job on the jobbank.gc.ca website! It's at a hotel, basically answer the phone, greet customers and stuff like that... all stuff that could help me when I graduate from college. It didn't say how much they were paying, but it said "to be negociated" and plus there's "bonuses" so... sounds pretty interesting! And they pay for training... and they're looking for someone bilingual (which I am) so... sounds like the perfect job for me at the moment! So I guess we'll see if the guy emails me back.[:)] I hope he will! Cross your fingers for me guys!! I really need this job! Me and Phil had a pretty decent night last night, even though I felt pretty shitty... I barely ate anything for supper, my stomach was too upset... same thing this morning... I just hope I don't have what Caroline had like a week ago!! That would REALLY suck... i've been sick last weekend, I don't want to be sick again! *sigh* But anyway.. we watched a movie called "The flag of our fathers" and it was alright... well, it was good, but i've seen better. The same director is making another movie like that (about the second war), but about the japanese side... could be interesting.[:)] I love movies about wars... usually they're really interesting. I mostly like the really old wars... like the movie "Troy" for example. That was an awesome movie!! LOVED that movie. I own it too.[:)] I don't know what i'm doing today yet... since i'm not really in shape to go anywheres, I think Phil might be coming over again... well, I hope he is! I love spending time with him.. especially the weekends, because I barely see him during the week now. I only saw him twice this week! Well, three times if you count the time that I saw him for not even 30 mins, but... yeah. And since he's probably going to get the job at the bank... well I want to spend the most time I can with him, in case he works during the weekends or something... or if I get an interview with the hotel, that I work during the weekends... I know, i'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I really want the job!! I bet you the employees have discounts on the rooms and everything... and they probably pay decently too. Me as long that I get minimum wage (which is $7.10 canadian, now here) I don't care. lol. Well anyway... I think i'm going to go lay down because I don't feel very good.[:(] Have a great day guys! take care [<3]RaCh~x0x [/color] [font=symbol]©[/font] Finding more to love about each other every day [m][bgcolor=BD003E][color=white][font=symbol]©[/font]..dandi_andi, extreme_chaos, HiHeelSneakers, Jackit_Fan_1234, midnite_breeze2 [/color][/bg][/m] And whenever I think about all the wonderful things that lie ahead of us, [/bg]I fall totally and completely in love with you All over again so confused...[bgcolor=404040]
 [color=white][font=times]I'm not quite sure I care[/font] ANYMORE
[color=white][ 71 ] [font=symbol]©[/font] [ mood; exhausted ] [font=symbol]©[/font] [ tunes; "this ain't a scene, it's an armrace" Fall Out Boys ] Hey Guys, Don't worry, my title has nothing to do with Phil... actually, he's probably the only thing that's not confusing me in my life right now... and i'm so happy to have him, because I'd seriously be lost without him. No, i'm confused about school mostly... I don't know, I used to like it... I used to love it, even! Not anymore... well, I still somewhat like it, but it's not like before... I seriously don't know if I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life anymore. What if i'm making a big mistake?? That I end up hating it? I really don't know what to think about this anymore... I really don't. *sigh* I don't know if it's because i'm sick of school, and that everything will be fine when I actually start working, but... I don't know. I just really hope i'm not wasting my time right now... because this course cost me a fortune. I won't be able to take another one in a couple months if I don't like it. You know? Ahhh whatever... i'm just sick of almost everything lately... especially school... school is slowly driving me up the walls. I don't want to go anymore... I think I lost the will and all that. *sigh* [:(] I guess i'll only find out if I made a mistake or not when I get a job... right? Let's hope I didn't... I talked to Phil via texts about the whole "changing his msn nickname", I know it was stupid, but I still wanted to know why he changed it... i'm a very curious person okay... it's not my fault![:P] But anyway. He reacted like I thought he would... he said he "didn't know" and he could "change it back". lol. I said no though... I mean, I know he loves me. It's pretty obvious... so i'm not really worried about that. I was just curious... but I think he felt bad after, because he said he was sorry with a sad face.[:(] I didn't meant to make him feel bad about it! I just asked... maybe he took it like I thought he didn't loved me anymore, or something... awww! but it's all good now though.[:)] I love him so much!!!!![<3] Well anyway, I should probably let you guys go, because i'm in class right now so... Hope you guys have a great day! love you all[<3] P.S. I made an entry this early because Phil is coming over after school, and I know I wouldn't have time to make one later so...[:)] [<3]RaCh~x0x Responders: [<3]HiHeelSneakers, LilSwEeTBaBy135, tiltedxoxhalo[<3] [font=symbol]Ó[/font]katieXcore just about my problems again...[bgcolor=white][color=black]
 [ entry 70 - mood: tired - tunes: none ] [font=century gothic][font=wingdings][color=dddddb]n[color=abacab]n[color=dddddb]n[color=abacab]n[color=dddddb]n[color=abacab]n[color=dddddb]n[color=abacab]n[color=dddddb]n[color=abacab]n[color=dddddb]nn[/font] Hey Guys, How's life? Mine's alright I guess... I mean, I don't really have anything to complain about, except maybe the lack of money, and school driving me slowly but surely insane but... it could be worst. Right?[:)] I'm a little upset. You guys might think this is total ridiculous, but it isn't to me. Or maybe it is ridiculous, but I don't care. First of all let me tell you what happened earlier today. Well... Phil went in work this morning, and his shift for today was scratched off. At first he thought it was because they thought he wasn't coming back, but then he called later on today... and they told him he had been laid off. Because supposebly they don't have enough hours to give him, so they can't keep him. Or something... So anyway, I wanted to be nice (I know, that's pretty rare![:P]) so I asked him if he wanted to come over to use my computer to make a resumé and look for a new job. So he came... we had a good night and everything, but... Then we decided to go both online on different computers (he had mine, and I took my dad's lap top). That wasn't the problem though... I remember clearly him changing his msn name last time he came here to "Phil loves Rach", and I thought it was really cute that he wanted people to know (like his friends that I have never met) that we were together... But then... when we were both online, he had changed it again. To something else... it was just "Phillyyyy" or something... his nickname back home, I think. No more "I love Rach", no more "Phil loves Rach", nothing... Like I said, it might sound completly stupid to you guys, but I was kinda hurt. Of course I didn't tell him, because he would of probably laugh in my face, and eventually change it back not to hurt my feelings but... It just makes me wonder... is he ashame of me?? Or does it have nothing to do with me whatsoever, he just wanted to change it...? I really don't know. Well I know he's probably not ashame of me, or else he wouldn't be with me, obviously but... maybe there's someone on his list he doesn't want that person to know? I know completly crazy but... still.[:(] I love him so damn much guys, I swear to God... I never EVER loved anyone as much as I love him. I'd give my life, literally for him... I truly would! And I couldn't say the same thing for my previous boyfriends, and truly mean it like I do right now. What we have is just... so special! I love our relationship, I love everything about it. I love the fact that he's always there, no matter what... and that we can just be crazy together and just have fun! I love it... and I don't want to lose that!! Know what I mean? I know i'm worrying for nothing, kinda realizing it as i'm typing this, but it still feels good to let it out in the open. Makes me even more realize that it's stupid. And I know there's other girls/boys out there that feels the same way so... I know i'm not alone to be scared. Happens to everyone... right?[:)] Well anyway, I wanted to go to bed early tonight, so I guess i'll let you guys go. thank you in advance for reading this![:)] love you all![<3] [<3]RaCh~x0x [/font] [font=wingdings][color=dddddb]n [color=abacab]o [color=9b9b99]n [color=5d5d5c]o [color=dddddb]n [color=abacab]o [color=9b9b99]n [color=5d5d5c]o [color=dddddb]n [/font] 69[font=verdana][color=E56E94][ [/color]ENTRY 69 // MUSIC none // TIME 7:O5 PM ][/font]  [font=webdings]g g g g [/font][font=symbol]©[/font] [font=verdana][color=black]Hey Guys, Thank you to all those who responded yesterday... I really appreciate it! As you could tell, I was pretty angry... but things are better now.[:)] My dad appologized and stuff, he said that he was more talking about my little sister and not really me... but that he feels like I take everything he gives me forgranted, which is not exactly true, because I always say thank you, and I always show him that I enjoy and somewhat appreciate ((I say "somewhat" because maybe it doesn't show enough, I don't know)) everything he gives me, but I guess... I'm obviously doing something wrong, if he doesn't get the same vibe. But whatever... I guess it's something i'll have to work on from now on. I still don't know if he was serious about my cell phone or not... I really hope with all my heart he wasn't. Because that cell phone is my life! Literally. But knowing my dad, I doubt he'll go to that extreme... but the point is, I don't care... I need a job to be able to pay for it every month. I can't go on like this, being broke all the time... it just sucks! I guess I would rather have money, and have a little less spare time, than being broke all the time with spare time. I have too much spare time anyway... Might sucks because I might not be able to see Phil like I want to anymore, but that's a part of life, and something I have to get used too... because even when we'll be living together ((if it happens)) there will still be times where we won't be able to see each other. And that's alright with me... atleast when we'll see each other, we'll have stuff to talk about! Right? lol.[:)] Talking about Phil... I saw him for like 30 mins after school![:D] I was so extremely happy to see him!! I was feeling pretty down today, and so was he... he hasn't been to work in 2 days, I think he's starting to really get sick of working like a slave ((pretty much!)) and getting paid really shitty... he was talking to me about how he wants another job, with more hours, and that makes more money and less demanding... and I have to agree. He deserves so much better than working at Zellers for almost minimum wage!! He's such a smart guy... he just deserve a lot more to me. So I think his sister is going to try to get him a job where she works ((she works at a call center for Royal Bank, and makes like 15 bucks an hour! canadian, of course[:P])) so... I hope that works out... because I can see how unhappy he is with Zellers, and it breaks my heart.[:(] He just deserves more than that. He has too much potential to be working there... really. Anyway, he did make me feel better, as always.[:P] He started saying that he was "scared to disapoint me" by changing jobs or whatever... and I was like "you're never going to disapoint me! Ever. Unless you cheat on me, or lie to me, of course lol" And I think he was relieved.[:)] Poor thing... I think he's scared of losing me, or that I think less of him, or something.. and I wouldn't see why I ever would... he's just the most amazing person I've ever known!! He'll never be able to disappoint me or let me down.[:)][<3] I thought it was funny how my entry today was "69"... lmao. Just thought i'd put it as my title, so that maybe people would have a tendency to read it.[:P] But it probably won't work... but I don't really care.[:)] Well anyway... my tv show is starting in about 8 mins, so I should be going! Have a great night guys! love you all[<3]  [<3]RaCh~x0x[/color][/font] [font=verdana](( dandi_andi, HiHeelSneakers, Jackit_Fan_1234, LilSwEeTBaBy135, major_blonde413, midnite_breeze2, N2cj4eva14, tiltedxoxhalo, x0xmarix0x ))[/font] [bg=E56E94] [/bg][bg=CC7F32] [font=verdana]made by: F0RG0TTEN_x3[/font] [/bg]I hate my life, I hate my dad, I WANT TO FUCKING MOVE OUT!!! date: 2.5.2007. | time: 6:30 PM | entry: 67 [font=webdings]gcgcgcgcgcgcgc gcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] Hey Guys, I'm so fucking pissed right now, i'm literally shaking from rage. I swear to God... I want to fucking move out. I am so fucking sick of hearing my dad complaining all the time because we need drives... tonight was just the icing on the cake, usually I don't say anything, but tonight... fuck that SHIT! Like holy crap, if he'd pay for my fucking license we wouldn't have that fucking problem now, wouldn't we? It might not be his problem that I don't have my license, but how the hell do you think I can afford to pay my begginers (which is 80 bucks btw) AND my lisence (around 600 bucks) when I only have 200 frigging bucks from the gov. to last me a month??? Do you think I frigging shit money, what? holy shit... Then he started saying that he'll make a new rule, he's going to give us 5 "tickets" and 1 ticket equals one drive, and that has to last us one week... and after that, no more drives. THEN... he says that if I don't pay him 37 bucks by the 27th for my phone (which I JUST paid him 40 for the month before, but we just got the next bill) i'm losing my cell phone. Like HOLY FUCK!!! You guys might think i'm making a huge deal, but I have no fucking money!! And can't find a job. I tried and looked for a godamn job, but I never got one single frigging interview. Maybe I should just fucking quit and become a frigging bum. FUCK. [color=f5970a]I swear, right now i'm to the point of if I get a full time job, i'm quitting college and taking the godamn job and getting out of this fucking hell hole. Because you know what? I could leave, and no one would GIVE A FLYING FUCK. And i'm not exaggerating, because no one even notice i'm there! Except Caroline (my little sister), once in a while... fuck, I bet they'd be so godamn happy if I'd leave... and so would I. Ahhh... if only I could... I fucking would. *cries* P.S. Any rude or dumb comments WILL be deleted. You've been warned. [RaCh~x0x[/color] [font=webdings]gcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] dandi_andi, HiHeelSneakers, Jackit_Fan_1234, LilSwEeTBaBy135, midnite_breeze2, N2cj4eva14, trashkatt [font=webdings]gcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] auto subby list here [font=webdings]gcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcgcg[/font] ©cookiez_n_kreem |
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