meggiesue14 , 26

Life's been rough on me lately and I really dont know what I did to deserve it. I dont want to be here, and dont know if i will be much longer.... My family is driving me insane, my friend has psychotic parents who wont let her out of the house, and I have been called a horrible name by someone i thought i trusted. Overall my life is a dissapointment at this time.

It has been a strange day...I went to bailey's today to babysit her. It was pretty fun. Benjamin called me and straightened the whole travis ordeal out. I'm not totally convinced but I'm still quite relieved. My family is driving me so damn crazy I could scream!!! I can't wait to go camping with Benjamin later this month!! It's gonna rock!!! I'm watching Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward go jellyfishing right now...it's cracking me up!!! Gotta split, my contacts are killing me!! Owwww!!!

Till the milk shakes,
Megan Suzanne

(If you are reading this, you may want to read yesterday's entry first so you can keep up with the whole story)

I am so confused!!! Travis told Yeimi that Ben said I acted slutty sometimes. I find that hard to believe because he wouldn't say someting like that. But on the other hand I do sorta believe it because why would Travis lie about something like that?!? I don't act slutty and I'm not a slut. I am a total flirt and I openly admit it. But there is a huge difference between slut and flirt. I don't know what to think of the whole situation! I was so mad, I took off my necklace! I told that to Yeimi, and she said, "You must be really pissed because you never take that thing off!" Should I say something to Ben about it? I dont know what to do! HELP!!

Megan Suzanne

(This may be slighly confusing so bear with me)

Yesterday started off wonderful...a trip to the beach with your best friend and a call from your boyfriend. Then you're told something disturbing and so hurtful...

We got back from the beach around 7 last night and Ben (my boyfriend) called me around 7:30. He was his normal self, totally adorable and irrisistable. Then he told me that Travis (his best friend) came over on Sunday and told him that he (travis) thinks I dress slutty and am only going out with ben because I want something out of it. (Ben and I live about 70 miles from each other and have been together for almost a year and a half) If i really just "want some" i'd find someone closer and make it completely meaningless.
I cried all last night, the only person i told is my best friend, yeimi. It hurt me so much for someone to even think that about me, let alone tell my boyfriend. I'm really not a slut, I'm a good person. I've never cheated on a boyfriend, so I really don't know why he would say such a thing. I'm in a terrible mood, and I will be until I find out the whole story....

Unhappily in Tears,
Megan Suzanne


Later.... (about 3 pm pacific)

I called Ben today and kept asking him about travis and what happened when he went over to ben's house... He told me that Travis likes me, but just thinks I dress slutty.... That doesn't really explain anything, but it's a start, and a small one at that. He told me that he just wanted to know travis's opinion and didn't take anything he said seriously. That made me feel so much better. He told me he loved me and sent me a letter today, so I'll get it tomorrow. Now I'm in a much better mood! I gotta remember what I always tell other people: Keep smilin!

Much more cheery now,
Megan Suzanne

Beginning @ about 8pm pacific...

Things have taken a toll for the downside. Today has completely killed me! Yeimi talked to Travis about me being a "slut." He told her that Ben said that I act slutty and dress that way sometimes too. Ben told me he doesnt think that at all. I dont know who to believe or what to think. Yeimi, Travis, Ben and I are all in this shit together and will get out of it together or die trying. Ben & Travis have no idea how much this is killing me and I have no one to confide in but yeimi, and I cant call her tonite b/c its too late. I need advice! What should I do?!?

So confused,
Megan Suzanne

Not alot going on today!! Had to get up way early to go to the car wash for drill team...go tumwater!! the damn cheerleaders were across the street selling root beer floats!! The nerve! The band was pleading, HELP US GO TO DISNEYLAND!!! I talked to nikki and margaret while they were holding their signs... Helped Katie with the drill team garage sale...we're so poor!! Car washes every weekend and now garage sales!! What will come next? Benjamin (my wonderful boyfriend) got back from Canada yesterday and called me last night! He is so adorable! We're probably going camping in late August, I can't wait!!! Mom is still in Seattle for the Mariner's game...I hope they won!! She should be home anytime now... Gotta split!!

PLSC,
Megan