Blog of DoRkZiLLa264

Extremely moody

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 06:06:07 +0000

*Sigh* I dont know what to do with myself...honestly I feel like if my whole world is going apeshit. I feel like the biggest failure in the world. And thought I know technically none of this is my fault because Im doing what Im supposed to do. But sometimes I wish I didnt feel so alone is this battle. When I said yes I thought it was going to be a breeze but taking care of this group is draining. Sometimes I wish I could tell them that they suck and need to start helping me because I cant take care of it all by myself, it way too much work. And really if I could change the world myself I totally would. But I cant. Im just one girl and I need help. But my pride stops me from telling them whats on my mind. Slowly the glass of emotions is filling up and its pretty close to tipping over. Sometimes I feel like I can control my emotions but other times I just want to burst into tears. Then I think Im over it, and someone says something and that anger comes back. Dear God help me.

The Review and other nonsense

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:09:31 +0000

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[smallest]So I went to the movies on Monday, it was nice and sunny outside and I had rather gone somewhere else but everyone was busy. So I went to see a couple of movies with my brothers. But really the price for a ticket is ridiculously expensive almost $11! And they had wanted to see My Bloody Valentine 3D, but I was not about to pay the $2.50 for the glasses. So stupid really, It's not because I'm cheap but a full time student cant afford to pay $43 to watch a movie.( I had to pay for my brothers) Plus I could probably buy it later for that price and watch it whenever I pleased. So we ended up watching The Unborn, and later because we had time and they don't really control the auditoriums we snuck in to watch Hotel For Dogs. Here are my reviews.

The Unborn: While in the movie would have been a good scary movie, the outcome not so great. It wasn't bad, definitely not the worst thing I've seen, but it wasn't worth my $11. Not at all. No...I think it was because I didn't get what they were trying to do, fitting almost every slasher element in such a small space and yet at the same time it seemed they ran out of stuff to put in it, and replaced it with a lot of blah. They acting wasn't that bad and the two little kids definitely sent shivers down my neck. The plot not that bad. See I guess I was expecting something like the ring, and they were trying to do something like it, but it just wasn't. Cam Gigandet is amazingly gorgeous so thats a plus lol. And Gary Oldman is one of my favorite actors, and his character was great. I give it a 6, but maybe Im giving it too much credit.

Hotel For Dogs: Oh my its one of my favorite movies now. Its so cute! You cant help but love it. Some of the acting was a little of but I can forgive it. Jake T. Austin is amazing in it. I did not expect him to that good. And my favorite was Friday! If you have a lil sibling you should definitely use them as an excuse to go check it out, that is if you into a good tear jerker like me. Lol. I give it an 8.

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The second week of school is almost over. The stress about books done, Im just waiting for my abnormal psych book but we barely use it, plus its only a 2 day per week class. So I can wait till tuesday to start worrying again on why it hasn't arrived. Though there's a downer to it only being 2 days. There's this really cute guy named Steven in it. Yummy eye candy. Even his tattoos make me fluster lol. Italian class is more fun than I thought, and its pretty easy. History not that bad, more cute guys in that class but non of them as cute as the ones in my psych class. Yes Steven is the only one. The only one Im iffy about is my astronomy class which I only took because I needed the credits. The teacher is really passionate about Stars. And she piles on so much info in 45 minutes. Its going to give me headaches. But I cant drop it because I made a promise to myself to no drop any classes at all this semester.[/smallest]

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[smallest]rachelinalaska[smallest]
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Wow..how weird is that? Need Ideas...

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:20:28 +0000

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entry | 056......Hello poeple! [color=FA822A]Jeez I am so tired!. [color=E254B8]And I have a headache the size of antartica.... Ha ha So apparently I have been chosen for kiwi journal of the day. Thats funny. Well I decided to just move on. I wish D all the best of luck and I hope that her decisions don't fuck up her life too much. But you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved right. Who knows maybe she'll prove me wrong, and maybe I'm just underestimating her.

So lets change the subject. I started school this week. My other friends don't start till tuesday...lucky bitches...j/p...the rising prices in books are so stressing thought. My aunt managed to get me all the books I needed for a little over 250, a lot still seeing that their used books, but it beats 550 right? I love my aunt..seriously what would I do without her, or cousin that part is still debatable but the fact is I love her. Lol. so that took that stress out.

Except for one tiny little thing that is. My mom and her are always joking that I should be with my cousing(her son). They say its a joke but you know they say it so much Im starting to believe that theyre not really joking. You know stuff like one day your going to be married watch we're betting money on it. Which is kinda gross really because he's like my little brother. Blegh!! I mean he's super nice and not bad looking but no....lol.

Now I want to get her a thank you gift but I dont know what. She loves stars and space. She's a big fan of both. But has a phobia of aliens. lol. But she has almost everything possible about them. And getting her a star online is too cheesy plus I think she already has a star named after her, actually a couple, lol. Hmm....any advice?

[color=FA822A]By the way... thanks to [color=E254B8]rachelinalaska for taking the time to comment and give advice. Im telling you I've tried for years to that but she's like a stubborn little 3 year old. So I guess I will step back and let her live her life...

So Cio, Buona giornata!

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rachelinalaska

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What do I do? Any advice?

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 23:49:11 +0000

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[color=E8A145][ 055 ][color=white]......

[font=century gothic]So I didnt really explain a whole lot yesterday what was going on. Or i did just not 100% of the story. Ok so here it goes.

Last[color=E74994] year I decided to transfer schools because I hated the school I was in. I wasnt getting anything done, it was boring, they [color=70A4E0]didnt have any class I wanted. It just wasnt my school. I had made the [color=B7DF6F]decision to switch schools two semesters before but my so called best friend had somehow convinced me not to. Well last year I had enough of it and I decided to go where I [color=E8A145]wanted to go to. Even though she didnt want me to leave, and I guess she resented it because she told me she felt I was abandoning her or something.

It didnt help that we had a big [color=E74994]fight a few months before because she was being immature when I [color=70A4E0]didnt want to go to class with her, a class I wasnt [color=B7DF6F]registered in and just went to sit with her there once in a while. I had stayed with another friend in the caf waiting for her. She said I was trading her in or [color=E8A145]somethingI forget. Anyway she had ignored me and then she said something really stupid to me. She had already been trying my patience that day so I blew up.

Anyway back to the other story. So I left and decided to [color=E74994]work on school for a while. So I didnt visit her as much as I had [color=70A4E0]wanted to. But I did txt, call, and send her a myspace email, constantly. And I [color=B7DF6F]tried to keep up with her life as much as possible. All of a sudden I start hearing all these things about her. Like she [color=E8A145]broke up with her boyfriend, and she was dating someone new. I started talking more to the girl I had spent lunch with that one time [color=E8A145]because D wasnt telling me anything. And all of a sudden their fighting because D says said our friend was the reason she broke up with her ex, that she had helped him cheat on her or something, which has been proven to be false.

Well after a while [color=E74994]school go the best of me, and I stopped talking to anyone from my old school for a while. [color=70A4E0]Except her, though I didnt call as much as before. When I started communicating with everyone [color=B7DF6F]again she wouldnt answer anymore, which I thought was [color=E8A145]weird, later I found out she had changed her phone number w/o telling me. And that her dad had kicked her out of the house, and that she was engaged with the butt hole shes been datitng for 4 months, and no shes pregnant.

This all led to last Saturday, where I had randomly walked into her(last entry)I [color=E74994]didnt see what her bf did..but my current bff who I happened to be shopping with saw him. She was a [color=70A4E0]few steps behind me because I was looking for our ride. And I also found out shes been [color=B7DF6F]telling everyone all this shit about how I had abandoned her because R had manipulated me against her. Even though I had tried to keep up with her as much as possible. I dont know if I should confront her or just let her be. Because some part of me still cares. Ive known her since the second gradeworst of all the day I did see her..she looked completely wasted, so high her eyes were [color=E8A145]bloodshot. And shes pregnant? She says in a blog shes trying to change for the better, but all I see is a down going spiral. What do I do?

Hmm... maybe i should just let it be. Its time to realize that as much as we cared for each other growing up, we've moved on to have separate lives. Though it saddens me... Im no the kind of person that chases after someone band try to save them when they didnt want to be saved, i did for years and got nothing. Anyway if i wanted to how could if she's tried to cut me off almost completely. Hm...life really is a mess...

[color=70A4E0]mooshy_moo_1

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Lets face the facts...my "bff" is a total bitch...

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:26:12 +0000

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Ooops

So another year has passed...even though its super late I wish everybody a super new year! lol...I've been busy so i haven't been able to go on kiwibox that much...and when i have a really havent updated my journal.

So I spent new years at disneyland...thats always fun...lol...but we couldnt see the midnight fireworks because of all the fog! We could barely see anything in front of us lol, nonetheless above us. hahaha. We spent like a whole week down in LA. Did some shopping down in the fashion district. The stuff there is so cheap! and a lot better than the crappy stuff they sell here at the flea market. It was so crowded though! Ugh...i got claustrophobic after a while. Even though I love going there.

And I went back to school today...i'm glad i was getting bored at home. My textbooks are super expensive though. My goodness...i think im going to buy them online this time because $150 for a book is too much!!

So you're probably wonder what the title was about. I saw my so called best friend when i was shopping w/ my new best friend at the mall. We were getting party decorations. See I switched school last year because I hated my old one. It was starting to effect my school work and everything so i switched to one closer to home. And you know she stayed behind. She also changed alot...she got a new boyfriend which i blame for her "transformation". She snubbed me, she looked away hiding so that i couldnt see her, but she made it super obvious...my friend erica noticed. Her ahole bf flipped me off behind my back too! Seriously WTF? I don't even know the guy! And all because I switched schools? and it's not like i havent tried to keep our friendship intact...she was the one who stopped calling and emailing...and i've heard so many things, which i'll write about later...grr...and really its what ever...i've always questioned anyway why we were friends...and this totally confirmed we should be anything...but her stupid boyfriend pissed me off. Who in the world does that? It was completely immature! Its sad because some part of me still cares about her. I dont know if i should confront her or just let it go you know...life is so complicated sometimes...hm..

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Merry Christmas and all that Jazz

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:56:59 +0000

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[color=white]Feliz Navidad! So Christmas was kinda fun. Being latina the big party happened last night. And today was the kinda chill day. Though like every year it had some mishaps. My dad went to see my aunt before mass because he thought it was at nine, an hour later that it really was. Of course because my aunt is aka the wicked b***h of the bay, my mom was not happy. To make matters worse she and her devil spawned daughter put kevin in a pissy mood. But luckly they decided to put it aside and let it go.
After mass we went to my Uncles house for a family gathering, minus the aunt. It was fun. They had gifts under the tree for us, so that we had something to open at midnight, that was super sweet of them. We didnt leave until like 5 in the morning. An hours drive back. Two hours sleep, and then we had to serve in mass. I was soooo exhausted, its not even funny. I dropped the insense during the mass and I know the whole universe herd the little metal cup fall. Gah! Lol. Oh well what happens, happens.
So "santa" left gifts at our house lol. I got awsome gifts!! Two coats which i despratly needed becuase its practically cold enough to snow here(but it never will =[)The purse I wanted, and the digital camera i have been begging for! Lol...and some other trinkets. So that was fun. I feel soooo tired right now...but at least i don't have to do anything tommorow.
So that's it! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! [/color]

[bgcolor=white][m]huggies16: thanx for the support! [/m][/bg]
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But just look what they can do
when they stick together.

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Im over it...maybe...

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:02:52 +0000

so he showed yesterday, with her to flaunt her around( read last for full story)i guess. Apparently as much as i tried to act like nothing was going on, i gave a mixture of both who cares, but what the hell are you doing here. Whatever...i didn't care really...it just shocked me that he actually showed up to our meeting. But whatever he wanted to show off his gf. I don't care anymore..i think...i didn't feel anything except curiosity about why he was there. The only thing that did bug me though was that when i was leaving and i went to say goodbye to my friend that was speaking to him, i said goodbye out of courtesy and she gave me this weird snobby look. It made me uncomfortable. You know that she would react like that just because i said goodbye. hmm...oh well. I still think he sucks though.

Broken Hearted..without a clue, need help, advice, whatever...

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:05:28 +0000

I dont want to go to much into the details. Only that theres a guy involve who's flaunting his new girlfriend.....
I don't know why...I mean theres never been anything between us...so why does it sting to know he;s with someone else? Why do I want to cry. Ive told myself a million times his not worth my time and that I dont like him, Ive even managed to make myself believe its true. But I know that its not true cuz if it was I wouldnt be here crying. I mean why am I so hung up on him? I know hes nothing more than a stupid, conceited, smart ass asshole. That he doesnt even deserve that I give him the time of day. Hes not even my dream guy you know. Hes not the type of guy I envision being the one. When hes not around I barely think of himmaybe thats how I was able to trick myself into thinking that I felt nothing about him. And then he shows up and turns me topsy turvy. I dont know. Im sooo confused! And I HATE it!!! WHY!!! Why do I feel like thisIm way to fucking down to earth to be feeling like this.what do I fucking do? What can I do? How do I get these annoying thought out of my headhow do I make myself not care? How can I stop these tears.
God I hate men...stupid jerks...(no offense)

#50 (At last) And so It begins....ugh BOYS...new pixs

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 20:26:24 +0000

[bgcolor=white][bgcolor=FE669A][color=black]got emo?
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[color=FE669A]Boy o boy o boy. That boy has me going in circles. Last week we had a nativity play/ dinner with the church group and Darlene and me were put in charge of the decorations. Well we went shopping for the stuff and we had some questions about what we should do and Darlene called him cuz he's in charge of the money. So they started talking and I just stood there next to these alligator toys and squeeze one and it squeekz and she says to him, " Its Karin she wants to talk to you cuz she loves you." Grabs one of the alligators and starts sqeaking it over and over again and says "see I told you." So then she gets all serious and says "Hey I was wondering something how come everyone always asks karin if theres a possiblity of you two getting together...how come they never ask you?" and theres a pause and she says "Oh dont worry she left for another lane she cant here you.". I still couldnt here anyway but whatever. So later she tells me he said that he likes me but I never talk to him so he doesnt think anything will ever happen. So I just rolled my eyes because its the complete oppisite. I try to talk to him and he gives me this short whatever answers so I stop trying. What am I supposed to do if he refuses to talk to me right. He really has me all on the edge to becuase he's always sending mixed feelings. Sometimes he really tries hard to get me to pay attention to him and other times he's so cold! ARRGGHH! Anyway to other things...

Yesterday I went to eat breakfast with him and some of our other friends. I kept noticing that the others kept trying to get us to sit together every single time. We went to the flea market to gete Jorgi's sticker for the back of his Monterro. We ended up staying there the whole day. yeah. It was fun at first and then it kinda got boring. Towards the end. Cuz everyone was tired. lol. Still....OH and we went to go see this street in South San Fransisco which is famouse becuase the whole street (its more like three streets acutally) goes all out for christmas and decorate extravagantly. They looked really nice not as big as the years before but still nice.

Its finals week. Then I have no school for a month! YAY! and then in that month he leaves. Yeah so really whats the point of trying anything right...All this makes me really EmO....

xoxo,

karin

Ps. Oh yeahs... the pix

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Domi and me
my art

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[font=symbol]Ó[/font]katieXcore

Tales from SlumberLand CH. 2 cont'd R& R please

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 17:41:37 +0000

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[font=century gothic]entry number
seven hundred and thirty eight[/font][/bgcolor][bgcolor=darkgray][color=eeeeee]

Abandonment
by Joyce C. Lock

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
I think not.

Absence makes the heart grow weary.
Void is wrought.

Absence makes for temptation ...
To be fought.

Absence produces estrangement.
Love will rot.

[/bgcolor][bgcolor=e0e8d3][font=century gothic]two hundred and thirty-eight
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note from the author:wow I just totaly noticed I'd been posting this in the wrong journal. Well I put the next part of chapter up so enjoy it.

At school he was treated very differently. He became an outcast because the parents of the other kids didn't trust his uncle. They assumed he would be the same. Now that he was seventeen, going on eighteen, he had grown used to being alone. He liked the fact that he didn't have to worry about the popularity contests. He was at the bottom, and he didn't care. The only dilemma he faced was being able to understand his strange uncle and why he couldn't stop thinking of the new girl, Isabella.
He contemplated this as he walked home by himself. He didn't know what had come over him. He wasn't usually so friendly with the rest of his classmates. It unnerved him to see that she seemed afraid of him. The look on her face when he talked to her was a reaction he always got when he spoke to someone other than the teachers at school. It was as though they couldn't believe he could talk. But she had made him feel abnormally uncomfortable when he saw her reaction. He thought about why she kept popping into her as he ate alone, as usual, in the kitchen. His uncle hated when he ate in the kitchen saying that he preferred he ate in the dining room like normal people. Steven thought different, and his uncle wasn't there anyway. He never came home so early. But to his surprise his uncle walked in through the kitchen door. He didn't even notice that Steven was in the kitchen. He seemed to be distracted.
It didn't bother Steven that his uncle acted like he didn't exist sometimes. He liked the independence he had. He could go wherever he wanted and stay out just as late. He finished his sandwich and put the dishes in the sink. Today was Bertha's (the housemaid) day off. He would wash them later. He had bigger plans for now.

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[color=cccccc][font=century gothic]bullet_proof[/font][/color]

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[color=darkgray][font=century gothic]fuzzylilbunny - april 2006[/font][/color]
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