Blog of Humanhead

messed up!!!

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 09:57:33 +0000

its really hot in here. i cant take it anymore. so bad. never been this way. my grandmother is here. she'll be gone in a few more weeks. thats not really good. i ate a lot today. skipped breakfast but i had some nice chocolate milk in the morning. and then had rice for lunch. pretty heavy. then i had an eclair and some ice cream(which was rich)... so my tummy is full now. the power was gone earlier. for one hour. awful. our computer broke down and i was sick. we had our school sports meet which was nice. there are quite a few new girls this time. there's this one girl and she's a pain in the ass.

i dont like L anymore. he's a weird bitchy person. a typical jerk. so no way. i have better things to do. so ya. even rush has changed now. i basically dont know him anymore. he's a total stranger. so i'll be clearing my fb friends very soon and i may remove him. he has caused too many problems. stupid!

today is PG's bday. KB is very boring knowing that my journal is only read by me. so i may just stick to my little diary. just that if my mom reads it, she'll be a bit disappointed. so you guyz know dat my dad is an asshole, right? so i have this party to go for. i hate going but well, its lyke prom in america. its like all of my pals together and its gonna be fun. but there will be guys also. cz well, a girls only party sounds a bit... so my dad has a prob with that since he thinks dat i have a guy. FYI i still dont have a guy. but anyway.. my dad has no business to come into my life now.

boy meets boy...
i read that book recently. and found out one thing. basically, the whole of my family has a problem with homosexuality. isnt that mean! so what if some people are attracted to those of the same sex? well, anyway... isnt that book just simple and true. like, friendship probs. trying to win the heart of some close to perfect person... lovely story

so this is a short update. though loadsa stuff has been going on. my uncle bought two new puppies. ewww.. hate them.. licky and all... well, the... bye!

abcd.....

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:06:22 +0000

so its been quite some time since i last wrote.
just a small simple update
rush-he just left my life. you know, its kinda weird now. he was my other brother. i mean, besides the *real* one. now he's this guy i know.. well, actually, a guy i knew. some where at some moment, our love for each other faded away and none of us tried to stop the fading. now i see him online, or he'll come over but not a smile, a friendly "hi" or a nod. its simply weird

i have this friend. a guy.. he's a bit too special. i mean, he thinks that he's like my only special friend. kinda annoyin at times

my grand aunt is coming next week.. she lives in america. so yey! then on the 13th v r having an alms giving...
school is great...
thats all for now

2010!

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 05:59:40 +0000

2010...
my grandmother asked me today, if i have any new year resolutions, and i said no!
i usually do, but its not worth it. i mean i never get to tick them off of the list.
i bought 2 more grisham books. "king of torts" and "the summons"
my mom actually read "ford county" she's not much of a fan of
1/ grisham
2/death
3/books i like to read

i started piano classes. for now i have art, saturday morning and piano in the evening.
we were planning to go to the beach y'day, but didnt go
today i have this party to go for. in the evening. dont really want to go, because i hate to dress up. even though this is a lil girls party and not many have been invited.

i'm kinda hungry. but my mom is out and my grandmom wont be cooking today. i'm being punished for not eating what she cooks.

well, gonna say good bye for today...

today!

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 08:12:47 +0000

so i feel much better now. and i have this great idea in mind.
am gonna start a magazine. not now, but when am older. it will be fun and a great experience.
also i want to make this really nice slide show of my childhood. my brother and cousins. all of us.
i 'm gonna make some lovely buns today. hope they come out well. also i want to make some lovely cup cakes later. not today.
the year has come to an end. cant wait for 2010.
i turn 16, my grand aunt is coming to SL, and so much more

well, dats all for today.

worst xmas on earth!

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 08:58:22 +0000

if you read y'days entry you'd know that xmas wasn't that exciting for me. well, the start of it anyway. now its worse.
my mom told us that we wont be getting any gifts this time. but then i thought, maybe some thing really small. i mean, at least wish me. but i got nothing. parents always say that you wont be getting anything and then you do. but nope. not this time. but my anti-xmas grandmom gets a nice love cake for xmas from my mom. why? just because my g'mom mentioned her love for the cake and said that it would be a great gift for xmas.

then my mom sees how annoyed i was and says "oh! i'll get you a nice pair of shoes later".. then it wouldn't be a xmas gift. i told her that i can live without it since for the past 14 years we found gifts under the tree. this time, we found nothing. so it was a great way to start the day!

then my grandmom starts shouting at me for the little mistakes i make. my mom sides with her and i was just annoyed. so just to make things worse my brother goes for xmas lunch at my aunt's. my dad comes to pick him and i go outside to give his gift and some cards i made for them. i find my fathers new wife sitting in the car, looking like an innocent devil. my father actually has the cheek to tell my to come over from the other side so that she can talk to me. i just gave the cards and gift and banged the gate and came in only to find my mom and grandmother staring at me, like i'd committed a crime. they just wanted to know if he had brought her along.i said "what?" and went to watch "a lot like love" then some more arguments occur and i couldn't take it any more. i locked my self in my room and really wanted to die.

but here i am, feeling crushed and depressed. i guess things will get better later.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

life!!!

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:06:30 +0000

i feel like a criminal.
everything in my life is awful. before ruining the christmas joy in you, i will let you know what today was like. okie, lets start from yesterday. well, a day before y'day.
22nd-O/L's ended. i survived! so glad. so 9 of my pals grouped up and we went shopping. it was a lot of fun and i was so happy. then i lost Rs.1,000. i dont know what happened to it. didnt tell my mom cuz she told me not to take all my money with me. but i finally got to lay my hands on 'ford county.' got late to come home

23rd-the day went WELL! nothing unusual. then it happened. i broke a glass. it was either my book falling on the ground or the glass rolling down the table. well, i was too slow and the glass broke. my mom shouted at me and left the pantry. my grandmother stayed on while shouting at me. i had to pick all the broken glass and i lost my temper and it was awful.

24th-here i am. we got a xmas tree only today. so ya. just decorated it now. my grandmother didnt help. my brother wasn't the least bit interested. they chose the movie, pink panther 2 over decorating the tree. i mean, i felt so broken. its not about the tree, or whether or not you celebrate xmas. but its about the family doing something together. laughing, having fun. but the got worse wayyyy before that. my mom left in the morning. she went shopping with some friends and my brother went with our dad. so i was doomed with my grand mother alone at home.

so i come online and from the time that i sat on this chair she was going on "i want to go online now" "give it to me, before your bro comes home" "you are using it a lot" "dont forget to let me come online"

its frustrating. so i asked her why she didnt use the computer earlier if she really badly wanted to use it. or better, use the netbook. i give up and let her use the computer at around 12. not exactly 12noon but past 12. which means that used the computer for only two damn hours. then one hour later she shuts down and starts cooking. i felt like slamming a pan through my head. then i start watching a movie. loud as ever, she's cooking.

so a few minutes later, she says that my bit of rice(white) is in the big pan and leaves. she went to my cousins, next door. then i come online again. a few minutes later i get a burning smell and the rice is as black as charcoal. okay, the rice touching the pan. i was so annoyed. then she comes home and blames me.

then i told my brother to get some thing for me while coming, since i was starving. he comes home with no food at all. i was pretty pissed so i called my mom. the kind soul bought me some yummy food but after 6pm.then we started decorating the tree which was a disaster.

not family disputes are normal. here's the other problem. if you remember that guy i used to talk about. you know, the one who is really close and all. anyway, he's getting way too close and loving. am pretty sure that his girl friend or ex(not quite sure) will come from what ever country she is in now, and slam her fist in to my face. the joy!

so this is my sad story for xmas day. hope its better for you people... i'll talk about other things later!

HmM

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:29:04 +0000

i know that i've not written a lot since the change took place. idk but i just dont feel like it any more.

these days have been very unproductive. i've gained 4kgs in about 3 weeks. yey!
i study everyday, i go to the temple(to get my mind settled.. trust me, it helps), i watch random movies, i eat, drink and sleep. and most importantly, i come online everyday.

and well, i just realized that i absolutely hate my father. he cant remember which grade i am in, he cant say hi. he cant come and see his own kids. btw, he lives 15mins away. and he has his own vehicle. also i absolutely love my mom. and i mean it. no sarcasm.

there's a long story behind the sudden love for my mom, but i wont get into that.
also i realized that typing this is like talking to myself. anyway, my mum bought me a blouse. yippie. its maroon and black. i have to buy a maroon trouser for that.

xmas is getting closer. we may decorate this time. not sure. O/L's are in two friggin' days. yey! so excited to finish it and never think about it again. its going to be pretty weird after 2009 ends. i mean, even 2009 is weird.
2009-my O/L's
2010-bro's A/L's nd he's outta school. good bye to school life!
2011-am outta school.
how time flies

well, this is it. lets just hope that i keep on writing...

annoyin!

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 10:01:37 +0000

idk why but i felt like writing. i have no idea as to what i should say but w/c

so my day went pretty well. i watched the tenth circle, argued with my grandmother. she told me that i dont do any work, all i do is watch tv or come online. now thats true. well, not altogether but. cuz well, i study too. and i eat, drink and so on. but i have nothing new to do. and thats what i am doing here. typing this to keep me occupied.

okayy. this wont work. am writing bullcrap. urgh. laterrrr

life is gettin weird!

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 07:55:43 +0000

what ever i do, it seems to be on the path to trouble. ya. breakfast was ice cream i put the container in the right place and kept the bowl of boiled gram on too of it. five minutes later, my mom opens the freezer and down comes the bowl of gram and all of it spills. and i'm in trouble.

then y'day my mum and i went to get some cloth for her saree jacket and there were some guys saying things. she blames me. what can i do when random guys say things. lord. its natural.

and now K seems to be hmm. my mum says that he's way too friendly and they think that i like him more than a friend. hell no. i still like L.. and K has a girl friend who seems like a stuck up bitch. i dont know why but i get this feeling. what if she wants him to choose between his girl friend, who he has been knowing for a long time or me. the girl he has seen only once, the girl he met on FB. the girl whose full name he doesn't know. its quite obvious that he would choose that girl. so lets just hope it doesn't happen. now why i'm saying this is cuz he wanted me to talk to her, get to know her. but its been four days and she hasn't accepted my request.

so anyway. life is going on well. not too good since none of my friends seem to remember me. its only K who chats now but i dont want him to waste his credit since he has to come online through his phone. and i just realized that i have no one to talk to. no one to tell what i feel and what goes on in my life. sarah is there, but she has her exams and what not. i cant talk to my mum any more. she doesn't see things the way i do. my bro and i get along, but i cant talk to him. so its all complicated.

i've been studying. and i've gained 2Kg since last friday. whoohooo...

what are the good movies i can watch?? new songs?? life sucks... :(

funallyyyy

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:35:23 +0000

okayy... so an entry after a long time. whats with me? i type them up and then thing "ahh. not good" and just close it up. it happens nearly every single day. am awful. so long for my career as a journalist...
and for those who read this, life is getting awful. my bro and i had a big fight. i nearly cut my self. not in the way you think i did, but my bro was scraping his plastic ruler with a blade and i tried to pull the blade and nearly cut my self. that would have hurt right??
we got our hols last friday. i study everyday. good. cuz am getting a bit worried. not about the exam but about my results. urg! W/C

my grandmother and i are still touchy. well, i am getting used to neglecting sounds i hear( my grandmom and mom shouting at me)
made dinner y'day. pasta. yumm. then had a glass of milk, watched Marley&Me and went to bed. woke up at 9 odd, did a paper and here i am. actually, writing this. yey!
so before all this goes down the drain again... am pretty annoyed at my parents. dont wanna talk about them anymore. so adios!