-
It seems that everytime I log on to kiwi, there's always a "new ver…
Melt4Cowboys 28
WHOA! I think we all fell off the planet, I haven't… -
I hate the fact the kiwi is eastern time.
AWA_IN_NJ 26
Um, I'm sorry, but that's his baby and he should be… -
I hate the fact the kiwi is eastern time.
Missjeanelle 26
hey It's def. a good thing to express yourself w… -
I hate the fact the kiwi is eastern time.
Chicadee_A 22
Ben looks sooo adorable! I remember one of my frie… -
I hate the fact the kiwi is eastern time.
Pink_dreams 25
My god what a jackass Alex has to be about this kin…
|
stilettoADDICT , 22from palmdaleCommentsStatistics
Consider your actions and emotions carefully. [bg color=linen]"Consider your actions and emotions carefully." That's what a part of today's horoscope says. *SIGHS* I'm really glad August is starting. July was by far the worst month of the year for me. I'm definitely planning to have a better month. I need to get my shit straight this month because unfortunately, I'm back to being indecisive. A couple of things happened in July that put me in bad situations, which I need to fix before I try to plan September. My mind's all fucked up right now, with all that shit happening AND school, PLUS the Ty situation. I really don't feel comfortable talking about it, but I know I'll eventually msg some of you to tell you what's actually going on... And that's all for that. August is gonna be my vacation month. I definitely need a job. I also need to release a men's collection that I've been promising all summer. I'm going to Vegas for the weekend. That should be fun. Plus, I can talk to my grandparents about stuff. My mind is all over the place right now. Ty's making me think so much. Right now, he's in San Diego for a golf tournament, but he hasn't really been texting me. Either he actually is really busy, or he's thinking about.... YEAH. It's really making me think REALISTICALLY though. Everytime I think about what's gonna actually happen when he's in Maryland, I assume that we'll eventually break up. I just think that MAYBE he talked to someone about it, and they made him realize what a crazy decision it actually is. I mean, I agree.. It's crazy as hell, not to mention, very STUPID... but it's hard to let go. I told Marie about it, and here's what she said: "hm i dont know. thats a tooough one. i dont even know what i would do. i mean both you and i have been through long distance relationships... we know how that turned out. but yeaah, doesnt hurt to give it another try. oh mann. idk what to sayyy... just follow your brain and your heart and your gut! and every other body part... =(" Honestly, when I first found out he wanted to stay together, I was excited about it. But I didn't really think of the circumstances.. and out of all people, I should automatically know what they are. I've been in tooooo many LDRs. But he HASN'T. Anyway, I can't wait to know what he's actually thinking. Whether he really is just busy, or he changed his mind. But I already know, regardless of his decision, I'm gonna keep it moving... What earthquake? And other updates.[bgcolor=papaya whip]Wow, it's been forever since my last entry. So much has happened. Let me start with the simple thing first, lol.
Today there was an earthquake and I didn't even know it. I was in the computer lab and next thing you know, someone was like, "EVACUATE!" I didn't know why, I thought it was probably a fire drill, lol. Then my mom talked to me on messenger and was like, "Are you okay?" I'm like, "Uh, yeah. Why?" She said, "Bcuz there was an earthquake." o_____O LMFAO! Then I asked people who sat by me, "There was an earthquake?" They were like, "Yeah, you didn't feel it?" I was like, UHHHH NO. I'm a complete dumbass. The way I heard people talk about it, they sounded so serious. They said it lasted for like 20 seconds, and it was pretty hard. I'm like, WTF I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL ANYTHING! >.< Nothing at all. They said it was like a 5.6 or something. Am I the only person in Southern California who didn't feel it? I'm way too lazy to talk about what's been happening, so I'll just skip to the good parts. Me and Ty had our first argument. It was a big deal at first, until he told me some good but bad news. He got a full scholarship from the University of Maryland. I think that's it. If not, it's some school in Maryland. I'm really happy for him, BUT ugh. He's leaving probably a month from now. At first, I thought it was a break up excuse (since we were arguing before) until he was asking me "So what's gonna happen with us?" blah blah blah. At first, I only saw 2 options -- either break up now and hope we can get over each other asap or stay together til he leaves and deal with the pain. But then he asked if a long distance relationship can work, and I said YES. Now, I know it's a crazy decision BUT there's no hurt in trying, right? I'm really happy for him.. I really am. It's a great opportunity. But I hope he ends up hating it, lol. After all, California is this big [_______] while Maryland is this big [__] lol and plus, he told me that Maryland isn't really a place for golf in terms of the weather. Oh, that's what he got the scholarship for, btw. He doesn't really wanna go, but he has to go to college. He says he's making an "adult decision." Anyway, I'm literally half happy and half sad about the situation. When I found out, I cried. This morning I cried. It was the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep and the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Now I know what the worst feeling is. It has to be, KNOWING that heartbreak is coming. I just feel like, since we have very little time left, I'm not gonna worry about holding my feelings back anymore. Since we really don't have time for that. I feel like I just need to give my all and make the best of the time we have left. He was just telling me how he can't let go. I told him, I can't either, only bcuz our relationship hasn't reached its full potential yet. *SIGH* This is the WORST month EVER. Oh and I'm starting to HATE my school. I sooo wanna transfer. Take me to Europe already! :( Let me just end this entry with some pictures from Friday night.    A day of sex.[bgcolor=papaya whip]Self-explanatory title, lol. No need to go in detail.
So everyone is definitely excited for tomorrow. We're going on double dates, then we're gonna get a hotel room. I have to be honest, we're gonna be under the influence. Lol. We've been planning this for so long and it's finally here! :D Another part of my weekly horoscope that came true: "By the end of the week, a situation that wreaked havoc in your personal and financial life will finally get resolved." I'm most defintely gonna post pictures. Have a fabulous weekend girls! Fabulouuuuuus! [bgcolor=papaya whip]Overall, today was a good day. School was good, work was... work. Haha. It wasn't too bad though. In class, I ended up hanging out with the older women. I'd say they're in their late 20's early 30's. And yeah, they're taking fashion. Anyway, they were talking about religion. They are so into God. Not saying that in a bad way, it sounded kind of inspirational, but at the same time I was like O____O wow. When I told them I was Agnostic, they were trying to enlighten me. Well, I'm Agnostic theist so it isn't that bad. Agnostic theist as in; I know there's no way to prove whether or not God really does exist, yet I still believe. One of them gave me one of those Christian cards, and I like it, and I'm actually gonna keep it in my wallet. :) I don't wanna jinx it, but WE'RE ALL SET FOR FRIDAY! Marie's mom let her sleepover! At first she didn't, but she somehow convinced her mom. Then Ty told me his dad isn't even gonna be home that night so that's way better. Then I asked my mom about Friday, and she said yes! That makes me really happy <333 I just hope the cake factory isn't on fire that day. LOL. Hope you girls had a great day! All hail astrology! I must say, my weekly horoscope is fabulous! :D Let's just say this part of my horoscope is true so far: "Contracts are signed, sealed and delivered this week. One more milestone is achieved - well, actually several are." Well, not literally, but something like it happened today. First, I was in class talking to a friend of mine. Long conversation short, I found out things about him that I didn't expect. He moved to LA from Bakersfield just to go to this school. Like he literally started from nothing. He was telling me about how he found his place by luck, and he has a job, blah blah. I told him about my situation with my mom, like she's not happy until I find a job. She'll get off my case once I get a job. He was giving me tips and stuff if I ever wanted to move out there. Right after out convo, I got a txt from my mom saying, "Come back ASAP. Heidi wants you to start." I was like, OMG YAY! So today was my first day of work. It was okay. Really easy work, but boring! I finished filing so fast. My mom was telling me to slow down so I can waste more time, lol. I saved some work for tomorrow though. She told me Heidi is gonna pay me under the table so I don't have to go through taxes. Maybe I can still go for that Walmart job, who knows. But for now, I'm happy! :D I wasn't gonna mention it, but I feel a little distant from Ty. I don't wanna say too much though, bcuz it might just be my usual paranoia BUT I refuse to let that ruin my fabulous day! Au revoir! |
|
Oh yeah, I've only experienced one earthquake my whole life (cuz 18 years is basically a whole life) back in Hawaii and my mom freaked out. She was like, "Things are falling off the walls!" It's a cute story. :)
Maryland's...ok. I generally don't like the place I live but at the same time Baltimore's right there and that can be fun. And there are people I care about it here. And there are people who love Maryland. So hopefully he'll like it, which isn't what you want to hear, but I know you still want him to be at least somewhat happy with his own life. Right?
Whoa. Crazy that you didn't feel it, but funny, lol. Wow. You are being brave (probably more than me) in choosing to do long distance. I wish you the best of luck! Yeah, idk... it seems that California would have more to offer in ANYTHING than Maryland. It seems weird, but if he's getting money to go there, then yeahhhh I guess I understand.