sweetnaqt , 31

why is it that everything hits at once. and its always good or its always bad all at once. not and the other.. unfuortunantely mine at the moment is all bad..
my work seems to be getting worse by the day. every time i enter through the doors i have done something right. all i hear it negativity out of my managers mouths. i am beginning to wonder if in the past 6 months that i have been there if i have done anything right.
i guess the thing that gets me the most is the fact that just two months ago while trying to find a new manager they put me in charge cus they said i was responisble and the one that knew the most about what was going on. however now its like all the time i am doing something stupid and in trouble.
the whole missing money thing did it i know it did. now they dont even talk to me or tell me anything. damn it i didnt do it....i have my own money why do i need theirs.
it just seems like all this bad stuff is happening to me at the moment and im waiting for the good..perhaps i shall just think of my coworker..perhaps he'll make me smile for a moment.

why is it that everything hits at once. and its always good or its always bad all at once. not and the other.. unfuortunantely mine at the moment is all bad..
my work seems to be getting worse by the day. every time i enter through the doors i have done something right. all i hear it negativity out of my managers mouths. i am beginning to wonder if in the past 6 months that i have been there if i have done anything right.
i guess the thing that gets me the most is the fact that just two months ago while trying to find a new manager they put me in charge cus they said i was responisble and the one that knew the most about what was going on. however now its like all the time i am doing something stupid and in trouble.
the whole missing money thing did it i know it did. now they dont even talk to me or tell me anything. damn it i didnt do it....i have my own money why do i need theirs.
it just seems like all this bad stuff is happening to me at the moment and im waiting for the good..perhaps i shall just think of my coworker..perhaps he'll make me smile for a moment.

he noticed, i mean he actually noticed the fact i put on sparkles over my face. im talking about the coworker i like...he came in to get his paycheck..and stayed a little while and talked..then he noticed them..and said they matched my sparkly personailty. funny i didnt really think guys noticed stuff like that.
god i dont know what it is that makes me sorta like him...more and more i question it. its kinda like i know he isnt in to me or anything but i think there is always that inner wish that he is.
i noticed how beautiful his eyes are..something about them today i noticed...why am i kidding myself..this guy probably has no interest in me...do i even have interest in him. a part of me says yes a part of me says no....ahhhh!!!! i guess the only thing i can do is just let it happen as it happens and hope for the best...but not to expect anything cus then ill be setting myself up for an upset..which seems to happen to me a lot. what else can i say it is just who i am..

he noticed, i mean he actually noticed the fact i put on sparkles over my face. im talking about the coworker i like...he came in to get his paycheck..and stayed a little while and talked..then he noticed them..and said they matched my sparkly personailty. funny i didnt really think guys noticed stuff like that.
god i dont know what it is that makes me sorta like him...more and more i question it. its kinda like i know he isnt in to me or anything but i think there is always that inner wish that he is.
i noticed how beautiful his eyes are..something about them today i noticed...why am i kidding myself..this guy probably has no interest in me...do i even have interest in him. a part of me says yes a part of me says no....ahhhh!!!! i guess the only thing i can do is just let it happen as it happens and hope for the best...but not to expect anything cus then ill be setting myself up for an upset..which seems to happen to me a lot. what else can i say it is just who i am..

i like him, or maybe i dont..at this moment im not sure what to think of him anymore. he is a a coworker. i know thats the worst kind of guy you could fall for. but not only that he is also a good two yrs younger than i. another supposedly no no.
im not saying im madly in love with him. i just find that i look more and more forward to working when he is there. he isnt the most drop dead gorgeous guy you would ever see. but for some odd reason his looks are growing on me. his personality is growing on me. he is growing on me. i find more and more i change to the station we listen to at work when he is there. cus it reminds me of him.
yes he has been flirting with me. he even mentioned watching a movie together with him next weekend. and wondered what i would look like with my hair down. he even asked me to wear it down for him. and i found myself saying yes. i mean i never wear my hair down.
i didnt really realize he was flirting with me til he told me how good i looked in the jeans i was wearing. i think thats when the lightbulb went off.
i dont know i know he is probably wrong for me and all. but for some odd reason i think i want to find that out for myself and not seat back and say well maybe he was or maybe he wasnt.