
date 10.15.2009 // entry 2388
this is not october.
i know, the calender it says october 15th. but its not. it doesnt feel like october. it doesnt look like october. rather somewhere in the beginning of december perhaps. when the chill becomes the cold. when the leaves, are brown and not gold.
yes the calender may say one thing, but i think its another.
where has my fall gone? where is it hiding. i almost beg for it to come back i am totally not ready for the winter quite yet.
please please pleaseobviously its cold, a mere forty degrees outside. i hated getting out of bed this morning. i didnt want to leave it. not with my husband actually sleeping next to me. logan still zoned out in his crib. i just wanted to throw back the covers on top of my head and fall back to sleep. i looked for a fabrication to get out of work. but remembered that today is my friday for i am taking logan to the doctors tomorrow.
it made the trek less horrible.
maybe things wouldnt be so bad if i was actually feeling decent. but i dont. i feel like shit. my nose practically running off the side of my face. my head throbbing against my brain. it is not fun at all i tell you. not in the least.
and i have school tonight.
or maybe.
i ended up texting my classmate and told her, she said if i cant make it not to stress to terrible. i told her i was going to try. maybe just slide out of it a bit early. because i want to make an attempt. i want him to see that i am trying. i will come, head all loopy from medicine and all anyway. i will do anything in hopes to help me pass.
damn it its cold, im waiting for someone to start breaking out in a round of jingle bells and we wish you a merry christmas.
i am waiting for candy canes and snowmen to be seen instead of the pumpkins i currently stare at.
its that cold.
aleisha[bgcolor=darkorange][color=saddlebrown] AWA_IN_NJ, doomed_dreams, x_coribeth_x[/bgcolor]