that_one_girl04 , 21

It's payday! whooo! haha

I had to work all day yesterday, so I'm taking my mom out to lunch today. :]

I'm all done with school now. Yaaaaay. haha I'm just kinda worried about my grades. ehh. Hopefully I did alright on my printing/imaging final.

Otherwise, not too much goin on lately. Um.. Lyle's still a douche. ha. Yeah, he basically only talks to me when he's bored. God he's so annoying. He texted me one day last week, I think on Tuesday? And it was just something really random, and it didn't last very long. I think we texted back and forth like twice. And then I texted him later asking how work was going for him, and never got a response. I'm like.. ok, whatever. Nice talking to you, too, I guess.

ughh he frustrates me. I'm fed up with him.

Anyway.

I will ttyl!

<3 kaitlin

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Shoutouts to people who responded

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captivate : An anti-boys club. Perfect. haha Yeah, he's being ridiculous. It's driving me crazy. It's like.. if you wanna be my friend, be in my life, fine- but you have to actually follow through with it. It's so not fair for him to just pop in and out whenever the hell he feels like it. ughh.

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Yeahh, I haven't heard anything from him since that Friday. And before we hung up, he was like "feel free to text me anytime, of course." Yeah. huh. ok.

I decided to text him on saturday- no response. I tried again Sunday, and again- no response. Shocking, right? god.. whatever, dude.

I told my mom he said that and she's like "He must've meant, sure, you can text him all you want.. doesn't mean he'll necessarily respond." haha so true.

Anywayysss... I went out with Courtney and he roommate last night, cause they were in town. We went to the Dive Bar. That was pretty fun. :] Danced with a super cute boy. ;] ugh. Adorable. haha

I just downloaded the song "Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script. It's really sad, but it's such a beautiful song. I love it.

Soo, I'm done with school on wednesday. :D and as great as that is, it also means I have a lot of crap to get done within the next 3 days. blehh.

Anyway, I will ttyl!

<3 kaitlin

This evening, I went with Tony and Alyssa to River Falls. They were having a free showing of the movie Milk at the UWRF campus. I hadn't seen it before, but I thought it was good. It's all about the gay rights movement, so it was interesting.

I haven't had to work all week. ha. it's been kinda nice, but at the same time, I've been really bored. :/ blehh. I work on saturday, though.. at 8 AM. gahh.

The last time I heard anything from Lyle was about a week ago. I think. I think I'm getting over it... a little. Slowly. But it's just such a sucky situation. I'm so sick of losing people. Like, I've lost friends in the past, and I just get tired of it. I wish people would stop changing (for the worst) so much.

What hurts the most in this situation is that I saw so much potential with Lyle. I always enjoyed talking to him and hanging out with him. I miss that. I've liked him since the first time I met him. I guess I just got my hopes up. Way up.

And now it's like.. so that's it? I fight for 8 months, trying to get him to let me in, and it's come down to this? We can't even talk to eachother now.

I don't know what to say. He doesn't know what to say. So we're at a stand-still. I have no idea what happens next, if anything at all.

But I guess that's how it's always been. =/

But I'm not mad. I was at first, but now I'm just kind of lost. Like, I have no closure.. no answers to anything. I hate it.

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*update* 3:27 pm

I wrote this entry late last night, so yeah.. haha

Lyle actually called me today...

It was nice talking to him again. We didn't really talk about much; it was just casual conversation, really. We talked for about 15 minutes and he didn't say a word about the girlfriend. Hm.

My mom's like "..maybe he's trying to keep his options open.." ha. she could be right. You'd think if they were really serious, he would tell me. At least mention it.

But, I'm like.. whatever. I'm sick of dealing with him and getting my hopes up. I can't sit around and wait forever.

It still sucks, though.

Heyoo.

Since I haven't really been updating much, I'm gonna backtrack to my birthday. It was good, but fairly uneventful. I went to Applebees with Ashley and Tony. Then Ashley had to work, so I hung out with Tony for a little bit. Then I went to my grandma's house where we had cake and ice cream. :D I had a lot of sugar that day. haha

I went to the Mall of America today with Ashley, her boyfriend Zach, and Tony. I'm way too good at spending money. haha I limit myself, though.. I only bring so much with me. I bought a black skirt, a white/blue striped hoodie, and The Fray's new CD. [: I <3 themm. I listened to it on the way home. All the songs are awesome, but I really like "Happiness".

So, I got a random text from Lyle yesterday. It just said "zomg", just him being silly, so I played along and said "omgz?" haha But then he didn't respond for a few hours.. and then he said something about how nice it was outside. I'm like, what the hell is this? Is he, like, testing out the waters to see if I'll talk to him? haha God, I dunno... I mean, I didn't hear anything from him for almost 10 days. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever talk to him again. I had no idea what was going on, and clearly I still don't. But I'm sick of him just popping in and out. It's like, either you want to be in my life or you don't.

And honestly, I feel like... I don't even know how to talk to him anymore. It's just different. I don't want to pretend everything's ok and that he didn't hurt me and piss me off. But at the same time, I don't wanna go crazy and bitch him out (even though he deserves it).

ughh... this is ridiculous.

anyway, I have some homework I need to work on. so, I will talk to you all later.

<3 kaitlin

ello. =]

I have to work in an hour. bleh.. but, I think I work with Ashley, and I now have tomorrow off, so I'm ok with that.

I haven't heard anything from Lyle... not a peep since saturday. But, ya know, it can stay that way for all I care right now. I mean, the fact that he hasn't tried to contact me in 5 days tells me that he's probably feeling guilty/doesn't know what to say to me. And, honestly, even if that's not true... It makes me feel better. haha He fricken should feel guilty. ugh.

But yeah, I've been talking about it a lot with my friends and my mom. It helps me sort through what I'm feeling and, honestly, I kind of hate being alone right now. I guess I like having a distraction.

Aaaanyway.. I could go on and on talking about him. And maybe one of these days I will, just to get stuff out. But for now, I'm gonna get goin. I have to get ready for work. So, I will talk to you all later.

<3 kaitlin