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fxck_me   , 30


My Canadian Adventure + Pictures!

Things are better since the last time I wrote. I'm not upset about the whole porn thing really anymore. I do find it insensitive that he cant just delete it out of the history or something. Ignorance is bliss sort of thing. And I really do want to stress that I dont mind that he looks at porn, heck, so do I. It was just that circumstance in which it hurt my feelings. Kirsty's (Sugar_xxx) comment was very insightful though. It made me feel better knowing that someone knew how I felt.

Anyway! Last wednesday I went up to my mothers. She lives right on the Canadian boarder, so I got to go to Canada! It wasnt super amazing haha. It just looked like Washington, but it was still cool being in another country. It actually stressed me out a little. I'm always afraid of being viewed as the typical "stupid american" when I got to other countries. I know thats lame, but I feel someone should set a standard heh. The first night we went up (thursday) we went to a pub and watched the Nucks lose to the Sharks. The atmosphere was freakin intense. The energy was a little overwhelming and I actuallt shed a tear haha.

On sunday we went back up in search for New York fries cause my mother and I had never had poutine. Well google maps and the new york fries website lied to up because we looked all over Langley for one and we could not find it. So we went to a place called Sammy Peppers and watched the Nucks win! Hooray! We split a thing of poutine with beef tip. It was magical. The is quite literally all my mother and I went to canada for. Food. haha we felt so lame telling the boarder people why we were going into the country. They always looked at us like we were retarded.

Oh and the coke in Canada tastes better. I dont know how to describe it, but its better. Trust me.

That is all i really have to say. I'll post pictures now :)


mmmm Poutine



I am excited to eat said poutine.



Poutine is gone



Not in Canada, but I rode the horse outside of a Cost Cutter in Fairhaven :)



This is probably going to be ranty and TMI.....you've been warned.


Ugh so i have a lot to say sort of but dont actually want to type it out, but i have no one to talk to about it right now. Today I'm going up to my moms for about a week. Im looking forward to it, but I'm going to miss Nick. Im taking Oliver with me of course because I cant stand to be without him for even a day and I dont trust Nick to be able to look after him. He probably wont be home at least one day so there would be no one to let Oliver out or feed him.

Anyway, I originally planned this trip because Nick and I were having issues I guess. He got drunk one night and had said that he never wanted to live with me and blah blah. Well the next morning he said he was sorry and said he didnt mean any of it, but I suggested we try and take some time apart since we spend pretty much every waking moment together. So now is my trip! Things have been pretty good I guess. We havnt been fighting or anything. So this next paragraph is where it gets into the TMI part heh.

So our sex life is kind of lifeless. He never wants to when I want to and vise versa, but he also never indicated that he wantst to, and when I do he kind of just laughs it off. So we had sex last night after having it been like a week. I just looked at the history and he was looking at porn while I was asleep and after we had sex. Seriously...wtf. It just kind of makes me feel like I'm not enough or not doing it for him anymore.

Its kind of a silly thing to be upset about, I know, but it bothers me. He knows it bothers me, but this REALLY bothers me. I dont understand what I'm not doing to make him look at porn right after we had sex. Idk. Im just going to finish watching my show and forget about it I guess. Theres nothing I can do about it...

Camera Issues -- New phone!!


Not a lot going on here. Today Oliver and I went to Cathedral Park. Its a park under a bridge in my neck of the woods. Its actually pretty damned lame if you ask me, but I havnt had the car because I dont have a phone and Nick wouldnt be able to tell me when he needed picking up so I just let him take the car. We spent a little time there and I got the cutest pictures of Oliver, but for some reason my memory card is a douche and wont upload them to my computer. The memory card from my other camera will though so I put that card in my good camera. So soon I will have even better pictures of Oliver to share! :)

Tomorrow I'll be getting my brand new first ever android phone! Im pretty freakin excited! Nick got one last week and I was jealous so I got one too. Im looking forward to not only having a phone again but having one thats awesome.

I had all kinds of things to write about but I dont remember what they were. This is pretty much all I have to report right now. Im going to go watch House of 1000 Corpses and go to sleep :D

Beautiful Day! -- Disappointed -- Pasta was a success!



Today was a gorgeous day! It was warm enough for Oliver to run around nakie :) He loves being naked. I took Nick to work and after that we went to the dog park, then to Kelly Point Park for about an hour and a half. He has such a good time. We met a lady that knew exactly what his primary breed was which was really cool. Most people ask if hes a chinese crested. Im always pleasently surprised when people know what a Xolo is. I wish i knew where my camera was because today would have been the perfect day to take pictures. The light was great, the weather was great. Everything was great haha.

I got an email this morning letting me know I didnt get that job I had the working interview for on wednesday. Im pretty bummed about it. I sent an email back thanking them and asking if there was a specific reason why i wasnt chose and she said that they decided to go with someone with a vet tech background. That stung a lot. Oh well, I'll find something eventually im sure. Just got to keep looking.

Im a little annoyed with Nick. I only have like 2 months to save for a ticket to San Diego and he doesnt want me to start saving because he said he doesnt even know if hes going to go yet. Seriously, wtf. His ticket is free. I have to pay for mine. What if he decides hes going to go and I dont have the money to go with. Its frustrating because he just doesnt get that. He says he's not going to just up and go without me, but thats kind of what hes saying i feel. I want to smack him. It makes me sad cause i feel like he just doesnt want me to go for whatever reason. I dont know. GR.

So i think i had mentioned that I was making parmesan and kale pasta the other night? Well...omg. it was AMAZING. Im making a double batch tonight because it was so good. And it was better the day after. UGH! haha It was just SO good. Im also making rainbow cupcakes tonight because its my friends birthday tomorrow. She turns 21. My mom was suppose to make her totoro cupcakes, but shes been sick. She might still make them, if she does though my friend wont get them until after easter. Heres a picture of the cupcakes Im going to make her and a picture of the cupcakes my mom was suppose to make :)





Anyway, I dont have much else to say. I just watched the latest Armywives and almost bawled my eyes out. It was so happy AND sad. I love that show haha.

Well Im gunna skidadle! have a good one!!

Pretty much nothing day



Yesterday I had a long day of basically doing nothing but cooking. I made cookies when i woke up. Then later in the night i made Cajun shimp pasta. It was amazing i might add. A little too spicy, but still SO good! Today im not really doing anything. I should probably do some laundry, but other than that. Nothing :)

I attempted to go to Tabor today to get some exercise in, but i kept getting attacked by bees. It was not cool, and was scary so i left. We (Oliver and I) got to the top of the mountain once though, so it was better than nothing. Took about 20 minutes. I keep asking myself why i feel the need to work out. I dont really want to lose weight. Nor do i really have the desire to change anything about my body. The only thing i really want to change in my torso, but you cant just lose weight in one area of your body. It doesnt work like that. But i dont want to lose weight anywhere else! so its frustrating...Im not really sure what to do about it.

I tried to make a tumblr account the other day, but i just could not figure it out. at all! so i deleted it haha. I didnt know what to put in it, or write about or anything. I've been following 2 girls on tumblr though so i thought i'd make one too, but no. its not gunna happen haha. I also thought about opening a twitter account, but again, meh...I dont really care enough right now to put the effort into learning how to use a new website.

Im not sure if the trip up Tabor wore Oliver out THAT much or if hes not feeling well cause when we got home he just went and layed down on the bed and hasnt moved since. I feel like it shouldnt have taken that much out of him, but who knows. Maybe it did...

I have nothing else to say i think. So i shall go! I leave you with a picture of Oliver being normal Oliver in the back seat :)