marcotte87 , 24

soo like 4 or 5 days ago i wrote an entry about the new place we got and everything, and i was wondering why there were no comments/views/anything on it from you guys.
apparently kiwi decided it didnt need to be saved. fml this website is GARBAGE now. its always screwing up... ugh. anyways.

we got a place, yaaay! 2 bedroom main floor suite, all new paint, 1000 sq ft, dining room, big bedrooms, brand new windows & bathroom... its really nice. i love it. $1100/mnth and that includes utilities so thats not bad at all. another BIG bonus is that i know the girl who rents the basement suite. she and i worked together and lived together in the same foster home for awhile. weird coincidence hey?? it will be nice though having someone i know that close for when travis is out of town and i need help WITHOUT actually having someone live with us. because i really reaaallly enjoy having my own space, especially since ive been renting rooms for so long, and especially with a baby. but it was looking like i might have to ask someone to move in with me for a helping hand, but now that problem is solved :o)
were going to be moving in probably on the 29th. soooo excited. it will be SO nice having my very own space again.

those pains that i was talking about in my last entry are returning :o( i really think its something more than just muscle pains. ive searched the internet for women who had round ligament pain like this and no one has... same with people i know who have been pregnant. its never been a continual 3 day thing that prevents you from moving/walking. i know that it has nothing to do with baby itself so that is a relief... but i do think it is something more to do with me. its just hard figuring out what it could be though because i dont know where any of my guts are anymore, lol. my stomach is somewhere up in my ribs, my intestines are god knows where, i think maybe my kidney is down in my hip maybe... who knows. hahaha. whatever it is, it cant be too serious so im not concerned really. just annoyed :-\

oh. my entry that got deleted also had a rant about how all my creative drive died along with my teen angst. the talent is still there, its just that i have to really apply myself and force it out now. where as in the past i really really enjoyed writing/drawing/painting/etc and it would just kind of 'flow' out of me. once i get started and get into it i enjoy it now, its just the process of getting there is such a chore! :o( it makes me sad a bit. i miss it.
drawing/painting comes easier to me than writing does now. and writing is what i miss the most... i wouldnt even know what to write about now.
How the hell did you get back into it channy? tell me the secret. ahaha. i havent even attempted anything for probably at least 3 years.


anyways babes, im gonna end this here because im running out of things to say and i need to go get a drink... with a TON of ice in it.
ice is my new pregnant love... my teeth arent enjoying it so much as the rest of me though. meh!

well well, its been a decent amount of time since i updated last. unfortunately there still isnt really much to say!! lol. life can get fairly uneventful when youre pregnant.

christmas and new years came and went and neither were anything too exciting or special, just typical family and friends stuff.

the world juniors (the junior version of the olympics for hockey) were in my city this year, so i got a job helping out there for the 10 or so days it was on as a parking attendant. i couldnt finish up the whole 10 days though because i ended up hurting myself, laaame! the job entails long long hours of standing/walking without any kind of rest at all... not so easy when you are pregnant. i ended up 'over-exerting' a round ligament (the ligaments that suspend your uterus) and holy eff it was painful. i couldnt even walk for 2 days... and its still a little bit on the sore side but its manageable now. when it happened i thought i was going into labor, haha. i was so scared. so we ended up making a couple trips to the hospital while that was going on. but all is well! the monitored baby for 2 hours all together over the two trips and they said baby is absolutely in perfect health. so that made me happy.

my ultrasound was yesterday, THAT was amazing. i kinda thought i would cry but i was too happy and hyped up. travis was able to get to work in the city for a week so he was able to be there, i was really glad for that. it was such and awesome experience though. if you want to see pics... well i am way too lazy to link any for you. ahaha. BUT! feel free to add me on fb... Desiree Marcotte... ive got them all over my profile, lol. anyways, according to the ultrasound measurements, the due date they gave me based on my last missed period was off by only one day. so baby is def set to come March 7th. i had my follow up appt today for the ultrasound with my doc and i am SO relieved because i love this doctor, lol. i switched to him late in the pregnancy, so ive only seen him twice now and both times the office was really busy so it was just kinda in and out. he was friendly but in a hurry so there wasnt much small talk. today though i was the first patient of the day and i had a really good appt. im glad... finding a decent doctor has been HELL for me in this pregnancy.
one of my fav things about him is hes old fashioned... not like stone age.. but hes just been doing it for so many years that nothing really gets to him i guess you could say. like i find alot of newer/younger doctors always give you the worst case scenarios and tell you what horrible outcomes will happen out of little things, and he isnt like that.

for example, baby was breech at the ultrasound and the two doctors they have on staff at the ultrasound place were making a big deal out of it, saying im going to have to look into a c section and that since im past 30 weeks chances are baby wont turn.. blah blah blah. when i saw my doctor today he was like nah its no big deal at all, that baby will probably flip a couple more times before were ready to go. then he went on to tell me in his day they let breech babies be delivered naturally and nothing bad ever came of it and stuff.
i dunno its just very reassuring, especially being a first time mom. because youre paranoid of EVERYTHING... lol.
and when he pressed on my belly to find out where baby was, she already has started to flip back upside down again. so that was good to hear.


buut other than that, i dont have much to say really! ive been hunting for places to live, not fun at all. i hate it, lol.

Being pregnant makes it very difficult to keep a regular sleeping pattern, lol. between going pee 30 times a night and waking up to death heartburn/getting kicked around... its just not possible!
then theres some nights too where i sleep for 5 hours and then wake up completely refreshed and feeling great... and thennnn theres times where ive slept like 14 hours (i know, extreme) and then finally manage to peel myself out of bed (even though i could easily stay longer)

but yes, here i am at 8am making an update. this usually doesnt happen until much, much later in the day.

i bought a new laptop a few weeks ago because my old one kind of died, thanks to my extreme love of pirating everything i possibly can (back off, FBI.) its a gateway intel, and it came with windows vista but gateway was having an offer where if you buy a new computer from them they mail you windows 7 for freee. so i got that in the mail yesterday and set it all up... its cute. they are trying really really hard to be mac though, lol.
but it has alot of cool features, and it looks pretty, which is all i really care about. lol.

i realize that last paragraph was kind of dorky, but unfortunately this is what is exciting to me in my new mom life! lol.

speaking of macs, i uhm, want one. even though i have no idea how to use one.. lol. im hoping on taking graphic design next august depending on how everythings going with baby and what not, and basically if you want to be in graphic design in this day and age, you need a mac. it makes like 1000 times better. i was kind of thinking about buying one with my tax return for 09, but chances are with baby almost here there will be much more reasonable ways of spending that money. we shall see!

im really excited to work full time again. it will feel SO nice to have my OWN steady income once more. im not sure how long ill wait though before going to work... i have a feeling once baby is here it will be really really hard to force myself to give her up to daycare for a day and go to work. this is another major drawback to travis being out of town. if he was here i could just get an evening position and he could watch baby after hes done work, cutting out the whole daycare thing all together.
not having a car.. or a valid license, is another thing that kind of stresses me out. bussing with a baby, uggh i dont even want to think about it! there will be a car around for the most part, and i have had my learners license for over a year... i just havent gone for the actual license itself yet because the drives i need to get it are SO stupidly expensive when you arent taking them through school. like $250 each... and im pretty sure i need 6.
i know how to drive, i have driven with just that license. but with the baby i wouldnt want to chance it... if i were to get into an accident or something, wed have to pay for EVERYTHING.
man i wish i would have just gone to friggen drivers ed like every other kid. i was too busy being cool, so i thought.
now i get to look cool and ride a bus everywhere.
sometimes i tell people i do it because im environmentally concious... so i look less lame. haha!
gooooo meee.

i wish i could find more moms/preggers on here. channy, i remember when you were pregnant you were all about kiwimoms. where did you find them all? find me some. haha :)

hmm. i think there was something else i wanted to babble on about, but i cant remember now. this is already longer than i was thinking it would be anyways, so i will leave you be now :)

im gonna lay in bed and watch inglorious basterds. it better be good.

well something so wonderful just happened to me! its 12:00 midnight and all my bedding just entered the wash, because the cat pissed all over my bed, and a pile of clean clothes that was sitting on it. im going to skin it alive and feed its remains to a pack of rabid geese.

i will celebrate immensely once i have my own place again and i can be free of treacherous piss tank creatures and angsty teen girls.

in lighter news, i made banana bread today, and it was delicious.

that is all.

ive locked myself away in my room because im annoyed, and i have  nothing to do, so an update felt right, haha.

im telling you... i cant WAIT to finally be in my own place again! i appreciate that my dad is letting me stay here and everything, but maaan.
im living with my 15 yo sister and she annoys the shit out of me to no end. haha... i think its just pregnancy hormones, but really i cant even handle being in the same room as her for long. its mean, i know. 
but shes going through that whole 'airhead' stage that many teenage girls go through... aaaand she also babbles on endlessly about absolutely nothing, and of course thinks the world revolves around her... all your typical 15yo girl behaviors!
not to mention raiding my room whenever possible to steal clothes/makeup/whatever interests her. grr.
i feel bad that it bothers me as much as it does. but like i said, pregnancy hormones. ive found that while im pregnant there are just certian people i cant even handle being around. ive been told its perfectly normal, so that makes me feel less like an evil bitch, lol.

anyways, on a side note id just like to mention that as much as i am not a fan of the whole twilight saga, esp the movies, they do have amazing soundtracks. and that makes me happy!

travis just went back to work again after his 4 days off. while he was home we FINALLY started buying baby stuff, and already its made me feel much more at ease and excited instead of ridiculously stressed out. we bought a bassinet, a stroller/carseat combo, some bottles, diapers... all that kinda stuff. AND idk what the hell people are talking about when they say Babies'R'Us is over priced! we went everywhere, and babies'r'us was the cheapest, with the best quality and selection by faaarr. even zellers and walmart were way higher priced! well, for furniature and stuff anyways.
ive decided i <3 babies'r'us.
travis' mom decided to yell at us after we told her what we bought because she thinks we should use the stuff his sisters have. well, for one, that shit has already been through 3 babies. so its heavily used... and i mean carseats and stuff youre supposed to buy new once every year. plus its ugly. and im sorry, but maybe i would like my child to have some nice new things instead of beat up old hand me downs. she makes me angry. then she bitched and said she was planning on throwing a baby shower and if we go buy everything a baby shower would be pointless... then she said afterwards that she wants to have the babyshower after the baby is born.
oh okay... so we just wont have anything for the baby to sleep in... or travel in.. or be clothed in.. or bathe in... until she decides to throw a babyshower. perfect idea.
oh AND she yelled because a bassinet is pointless because 'after 3 weeks the baby wont even be able to sleep in it anymore'. uhmmm... the one we bought is good up to 20lbs... so unless im pushing out some giant super baby im sure we will get decent use out of it. GAH.

end rant.
inlaws are death.

we have decided on a name for a girl! Autumn Leigh (pronounced lee) Pawluk.
pawluk is travis' last name, fyi.
i struggled with that one a bit... i originally wanted to hyphenate it.. but Marcotte-Pawluk doesnt go with any name at all.. and its kind of a mouthful. idk, i might still do it. there are alot of annoyances that come with having a child with a different last name than yours... for example taking baby across the border, i could never do it on my own without a written note from travis verifying that he gives his permission. regardless of what the birth cert says. plus just other annoyances.
once we were married obviously we would drop marcotte and just leave it pawluk. but to be honest idk when that will happen. travis wants to asap, and he doesnt want the last name hyphenated at all, it hurts his feelings a little when i tell him i do.
but really, i dont believe much in marriage. i think if you want to spend your life with someone, then just do it. once you make it legally official by getting married it seems like it just complicates things. dont get me wrong, i would love to have a big beautiful wedding with a big beautiful wedding gown and everything... but really it just seems like marriage in itself adds so much stress and pressure to a relationship for whatever reason.
i would be perfectly comfortable being with travis for the rest of our lives without being married.

my dog is having a dream right now and shes tweaking out, hahaha. the whole bed is shaking shes twitching so much. cute.

aaaanyways... im going to find other ways to entertain myself now, lol. maybe ill play some music for bb <33
we bought a fetal doppler too this past weekend. i havent bee able to find her heartbeat yet :( but i keep lookign for it, lol. the one i got says it wont work until the third trimester and seeing as im in my second week of the third trimester now it might just be too soon.
we did hear kicks and gooshes though from baby moving around though.
apparently it will pick up hiccups too. i hope i get to hear them, thatd be soo cute.
 it came with some cool little speakers you put on your belly too though for playing music, and also a microphone that hooks up to the speakers to you can talk/read/etc to the baby. so ive been using that alot.

bbs destined to have good taste in music, thankfully. there will be no hannah monatana blasting in my house with any luck.
so far shes most active when she listens to death cab for cutie, the bloody beetroots, and billy talent.
maybe cuz shes already been to a billy talent concert.. and rancid, rise against, silverstein... and a few others were there too. we were even in the mosh pit together, lol.

that was before i knew i was preggs, of course. haha. i would def not have willingly let myself get beat up in a moshpit had i known i was preg.

travis loves that, hes so excited to tell bb that story one day.